I am new on here but not new to the many journeys of living with a gambling addict. We have been together 30 years, and I can only say after this very recent relapse I actually admitted to myself he is an addict. He is a lovely man, a good heart and kind, and a good father and grandfather but I see his relapses as a disrespect to all the good things in our life. We have grown with many different versions of ourselves but the gambling addict in him always remains. After doing my own healing work for a year (my mother was an alcoholic) and no longer feeling comfortable around the familiarity of addiction anymore, I honestly don’t know if I can continue supporting him. I love him and I always will but the impact it has on me each time takes me back to a dark place. He tells me he is going to get help, this is not a first, he tells me this time it is different, again not a first. I no longer believe or trust him. My heart and spirit are both broken.
Good morning JC(@kw79p3zx6j),
Thank you for sharing and posting - your message is heartful and I can sense the sadness and frustrations in your message.
Acceptance is a difficult emotion to process and comes with its own challenges, I am so pleased to hear that you reached out to share your experience with us; the Forum is a safe place to share how you are feeling and I am sure, you will receive a huge amount of valuable support from other service users of ours, who are experiencing the same dilemma.
You have also endured addiction from another very important person in your life; I am pleased to hear, that you have taken time for yourself to heal and recover from what must be an overwhelming pull, with your mother.
I would urge that you to access support as an 'affected other - significant other' - GamCare offer, a therapeutic intervention, which allows you to access talking therapy which I feel that you will hugely benefit from.
It is a worthwhile 5 step course, which will equip you for a clearer direction.
Addiction is an incredibly strong pull which is all consuming - I am pleased to hear, that despite the addiction you can see the person behind it, it is not an easy situation for any party.
I hope we are able to support you both, your husband and your good self.
Please reach out to the Helpline, you have shown a huge amount of courage for reaching out to us, prioritise 'YOU' and take up the service as an affected other.
Helpline - 0808 8020 133 - 24 hours a day 7 days a week.
I sincerely hope we can support your husband who is lapsing/relapsing.
We can and will do our very best, to get him the 'Help' he so needs, if he is willing and wanting to change, and break the cycle.
We have a chatroom which operates every Tuesday 12.00 P.m. and Thursday at 7.00 P.m. (family and friends)
We also have a chatroom Friday at 6.00 P.m. - Relationships.
I so hope you can make the chatrooms', there are others who are in the same situation and the support and encouragement for you, will be helpful.
Thank you again for posting.
JenMaria1
Forum Admin.
So sad to hear this is how we make the people we love feel, if your husband is like me then Everytime he says it's the last he truly believes it will be, then one day out of the blue I'll just get this urge to gamble and don't think of anything else, I don't worry about how my husband will feel because I somehow manage to convince myself I won't loose, even though that's how it always ends. I lost everything last night and told my husband today but still lied to him about the amount, Its only because of how ashamed id feel if I told him the real amount, it's really shameful to have to admit what absolute idiots we are. I can't really offer any advice as I don't know how it feels for the shoe to be on the other foot, but I do really hope things work out for you.
Hi At this time I do not want or need to gamble.
The addiction was a form of self abuse and I no longer want to cause my self or others any more pain.
Dave L
@fun-has-stopped thank you for being so honest. I appreciate you sharing.
@forum-admin thank you for your understanding and links. Much appreciated.
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