After I came clean to gambling again on 11th September (another relapse in a long line of relapses since 2015), my girlfriend decided that she needed some space and time to think about what she wanted. Fast forward 5 weeks, and she has decided last week that she can no longer support me with this and that the trust is broken. I understand that this is something I have to accept and move on from. I guess the hardest part now is it feels like I have nothing to strive for, and I'm finding it really difficult to stay working hard at this for myself. Yesterday I had my first urge to gamble in 41 days, and I feel like that is the main reason - because I feel like I've already lost everything so whats the point now. Has anyone experienced this, and how did you stay motivated to do this for yourself.Â
Any advice welcome.
Shaw
Hi @zt8afh9p2c, Shaw,
I'm sure you'll get lots of support from everyone on the forum, but just popping in to say that this sounds really tough. We're here for you if you need some extra support right now Chat to us now - GamCare or call on 0808 8020 133 24 hours of the day.
Take Care
Jane
Forum Admin
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I always remind myself Urges are not actions and with curious and kind observation they don’t need to be the first step on pathway back to gambling. I am in my 21st year of gambling free life and still get thoughts of gambling.Â
Maintaining healthy relationships requires open communication, mutual respect, and consistent effort. Recognizing warning signs early, addressing conflicts calmly, and prioritizing quality time can help prevent losses. It’s also important to set boundaries and nurture connections that align with personal growth, ensuring relationships remain supportive, balanced, and meaningful over time.
Mate we are in the exact same boat, only 4 days ago my partner and I split/took a break not 100% sure but I’m hoping for reconciliation, she had family who had addiction and saw how it treated them and it’s been on and off for myself for about 3 years where I could go months clean and then I self sabotage when life got hard or I crashed out. I really do feel for your situation but I think the best first step is what you’ve done and to openly own your truth, I just got off the phone with GamCare and I should be receiving a referral so I can talk about my issues so I pray that helps. My partner was very supportive of my gambling issues and was the only one I could talk too about this stuff and I feel at rock bottom knowing I betrayed her trust over the years, she told me to stop and at times I would until like I said I relapsed, so it’s a hard pill to swallow knowing you kept hurting the person you loved and someone who put their trust in you. All I can suggest is keep talking about it with someone and keep taking actionable steps to a better person for you and to show her actual change that you can improve.
@artzy cheers for the reply. Yeah its tough! I think this really is it this time unfortunately as we’ve not spoken properly in about 6 weeks now. I’ve put everything in place to make sure it doesn’t happen again so that I can continue to stay away from the gambling and the lies that come with it! Just need to make sure I’m doing it for myself so that if and when new relationships come along I don’t make the same mistakes really, just trying to tell myself this is all part of the journey now, even if it hurts bad at the moment!
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