My partner is a gambling addict. And whilst currently he isnt gambling as much as it having online counselling everything that has happened in the past year or so the lies, the anger the lack of respect for me is making me into someone I hate.
He's lied about so many things. Not just gambling, but he says all driven from how low he is about it.
He promises not to do things or to help more in the house or to come home at a decent hour. And doesn't.
Time after time.
So now I am living in a state of contstbat anxiety waiting for the next promise to be broken to lie to be found out. I'm so angry and I know I pick on him for things that actually aren't bad.
I find it hard to "give him a break" because I'm so broken by everything and I just don't trust him.
I have to put up with all the mood swings from his addiction, I understand that is par for the course. But there's no grace given to me. No thought for how I am feeling and how these things have changed me.
I am seeking help myself but I just wish him and his family could see how much this has broken me and that my reactions to things andthr change in my character are dire tly related to everything that I've had to put up with and try and fix because of his addiction.
I just feel really low right now and hate who I am becoming. I am fun and strong and supportive.
Right now I feel none of those things.
I feel so like this too ladycat! I was a happy positive person with so much to give and I feel like I’ve had the energy drained from me time and time again. My partner has gambled since a young age but it got worse and worse. We split up in sept when I found out he cheated on me after I found he had wasted £400 in the betting shop I was absolutely distraught. But I’ve stupidly took him back and after counselling I thought it was going ok until a row last night and he has just msged me to say he has been sitting in a betting shop since 2:30 today. I feel psychically sick now I’m pretty much at the end of my tether. No one but us knows how harrowing and sickening it all is to everyone around them the effects on family and friends is utterly devastating xx lots of love I really feel for you but don’t know how to make you feel better as I’m pretty low too atm ? x
Hi... I am a compulsive gambler. Sorry to hear what you are going through. I don't know what it must feel like.
The thing is and like you say, its a lot more than just about gambling. Its about working on oneself. Words are easy whether written or spoken, but actions are not. From what you say, it sounds like your partner continues to act in the same as when he was gambling, which may actually mean that he is still gambling on the quiet. You will see in his actions and behaviour whether he is committed to change or not. I find that words are pretty meaningless unless backed up by actions. That's the reality of this addiction in my opinion.
Keep using your own support just for you.
Sorry to hear what your going through. Can I just say Thankyou! Not once have I thought about my partner (feelings and emotions!) and today she has taken full control of all my online betting accounts, which is the first step.
readinf your post upset me and make me think about what I was doing to my partner. I have gambled everyday for the last month. Worse in the holidays when got my days to fill but not once have I considered how this will effect my partner…your post hit home.
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