Hi guys,
So I'm a 34 year old man and have been gambling on and off for a good few years now. Ive always had a slight infatuation with money and the thrill of winning, so gambling gave me that thrill! At a young age i used to play the fruit machines which didnt really turn into anything threatening at the time, however in my early 20s I came into some money (50k), thats when I found online slots. If you image I had all this money in my current account so it was so easy to flutter away, I ended up losing around £8k in total before I had a reality check and went cold turkey with the betting.
I then returned to betting a few years later, this time betting on football, teams to score, btts, inplay bets etc and initially it was £10-20 here and there and I would stop. I dont bet to the point where we I have nothing, but it can put a slight strain on our monthly income and I can see myself slowly getting worse. For instance, last weekend I had a bet, lost at the 1st hurdle, bet again lost ....all the way up to £130ish in £10 bets until I said thats enough. I then go the full week without a bet and when the weekend comes again I say ill just bet £10, but then again I spend £120 chasing loses and trying to just get a win (usually I win 1 or 2 bets that softens the blow from time to time). So over time these £130ish betting episodes are adding up.
My main concern is the man I have become at home, Im snappy, I ignore the children, I stare at my phone and I'm just not living the life I should be. I'm always giving other people advice on gambling, but dont tend to take it myself!! Once I win I feel great, but as you all know the winning doesnt stop the buzz or the pull to have another bet. Im trying to win money for a better life, more money, but clearly I'm kidding myself if i think this is the right path to go down.
I have self excluded from 3 main bookies and have 1 left open that I use, I keep telling myself to get rid of that too but then I pursuade myself that I can control it on my own. Why I do this I do not know, I guess its the feeling of missing out or something, I dont know?? I did talk to my wife about it all a few months back and was honest with it all and she supported me and that helped.
Would be great to get some advice, kick in the right direction. I guess I just need somebody to give me a shake.
Thanks for listening.
Dear Flying Panda
Welcome to the GamCare forums. I hope you get plenty of support from our forum members.
It sounds as if you're finding it hard to completely control gambling and are ambivalent about self excluding from all the bookies in your area, despite acknowledging that your gambling is affecting your mood and attention in the home. In time you will likely receive forum replies with advice.
In the meantime, please don't be alone with this, if you do feel that you would like to chat things through with a GamCare Advisor, please do give us a call on our free HelpLine 0808 8020 133 or the netline.
Warm regards
Leigh
Forum Admin
HI Flying Panda,
My story was simialr in ways to yours. I would have gambling binges now and again but nothing I saw as out of control as I was not in debt due to gambling and could stop for weeks at a time. But it was not until the responsability of children that it soon showed I was a compulsive gambler who could not and did not want to stop gambling for good. I convinced myself I could control it even though I had no savings to show for my years for work.
Also you are very self aware as you notice the mood and behaviour changes. Most people when they talk about their gambling problem are soley focused on the money, but as compulsive gamblers a big problem is the time and effort we put into out gambling is a problem as we sacrafise time that would have gone into work and relationships, we become distant and snappy, we argue more and more, we cut people off or even out of our lives altogether.
Go to your nearest GA meeting, listen to everyone there, tell your story (be 100% honest) then see how you feel after that about your gambling.
Let us know how you get on. Good luck
Hi flying panda.
The only way to kick it is to be excluded from all forms of gambling. I'm not sure, but I think you can have transactions blocked by your bank for certain companies / sectors. Failing that, just hand over the reins of all your finances to your partner, and just ask for your allowance weekly. Good advice which I've not taken myself yet.
The real reality check for me, was when I woke up on Saturday morning, after a drink fuelled slot binge, and my bank balance said 0.and I've still half my bills to pay, and that has made me feel physically ill. I now associate this feeling with gambling, amd that's what I'm going to cling to whenever the temptation arises.
Hope you can get over it, and good luck
Hi I'm new on here
Hello crystal how are you?
Chaz/Joe,
Thanks for your great advice, I think I never really thought I was as adicted but looking back I totally am! I was sticking to £10-15 per weekend and then stopping but more often than not I go on a binge, which isnt good! One example was when i lost £100 with £10 bets, so to win it back I did a £100 stake bet to win it + some and that lost so I was instantly down £200. Thankfully I did manage to stop there however, from telling myself I was only going to have 1 £10 to losing £200 tells me theres something not right and I need to control it.
Joe, your advice on being 100% honest has hit the nail on the head, too many times have I talked myself into thinking my problem isnt that bad. Well that stops!
The weekend will be the proof in the pudding, I have to stay busy and get out of this rut before its too late.
Staying positive.
Thought i I could manage it myself but clearly I can’t. Blasted another £140 today on chasing my money sports betting!!! All ive done all day is stare at my phone and gamble! It’s not a life!
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
