Have stayed away from gambling for almost five years, when the lockdown happen again last year. I started gambling again on the Internet, most of the times I win and gamble it again trying to get more. I have borrowed money from family to pay my debt nobody knows I gamble because I live alone. I have been homeless in the past and I don't want it to happen now have been told by landlord to move out because, I have not paid my rent, I use my rent money to gamble. I have tried to stop is just difficult. I'm so depressed and suicidal and alone don't have nowhere to go, can't be back on the street during pandemic. I have a very judgemental family am afraid to tell them why I have financial problems.Â
Welcome to the Forum @antlaye
Thank you for your honesty and openness around what has been happening in your life. To stay away from gambling for 5 years is a massive achievement. While you mention you have returned to gambling, the time you spent living gamble free is not wasted and shows that you are more than capable of stopping again.
It sounds like you currently feel very isolated and I understand the loneliness and fear of homelessness is leaving you feeling depressed and suicidal. It sounds like it would be a good idea to speak to your GP about how you are feeling to see how they can support you. The Samaritans are also there to listen and support you and they are open 24/7. You can contact them on 116 123. If you find that you are struggling with your feelings and are unable to keep yourself safe please call 111 or, in an emergency, please call 999 or go straight to A&E.
You have taken a really positive step forward in seeking support Antlaye and I want to reassure you that you are not alone in feeling this way.  There is lots of support available to help you to stop gambling and recover from this. We would recommend that you call our free HelpLine on 0808 8020 133 or talk to one of our advisers via our NetLine. We are here 24/7 to help and support you through what sounds like a challenging time.
Warm wishes
Darren
Forum Admin
Hi Antlaye and Welcome.
I feel your situation and I know life can seem very unfair and tough, I too have a family thats difficult to relate to and the rental market is crazy.
however you have to focus that gambling is not helping matters and keep talking it though. Gambling is not an income scheme and most of the time you will not win. Once you are hooked on the drug of it you can not control your own mind.
Do you understand what this addiction is? Its not a stupidity or greed issue...its a drug addiction over all else.
Honesty and openness are key saviours. Is there nobody close you can talk to?
You have to get into the mindset that whatever you face in life...gambling will not help and is not the answer. For me it was a temporary distraction from depression and thats all it ever was.......only it made things far worse so it was a vicious spiral downwards.
There is a way forward for you and you have to talk through the depression with a doctor or someone you trust.
You can stop gambling when you really want to. There is trusted advice which works but you must be ready for the born again moment.
There is no shame in reaching out for help. you seem really depressed and you must talk to people.....dont bottle it up. Why is the relationship with your family strained?
Do you have a job? Look at what you have and build some stability from there. Again gambling is no good in you life and you must stop now.
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
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