Back to square 1-again

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 az
(@asmbtj5rgl)
Posts: 6
Topic starter
 

Hi.im aaron and back here again.i thought i could handle this illness by myself but its just so hard and some would say impossible.ive gambled all my working life which is since i was 16 and im now 39.i dread to think how much money ive lost in that time.i stopped a few years ago for about 6 months.not even a penny but then told myself 20 quid a week wont hurt.that soon turned into 50 and now i feel im losing all control again.ive paid off loans in the past coz of this illness and i swore to my wife i wouldn't do it again.now i owe family members money and have a bank loan.my wife recently found out im struggling again and ive just had enough.im sick of working hard and never having anything to show for it.im always chasing that big win that never comes.im so annoyed at myself right now coz i was doing well

This topic was modified 2 weeks ago 2 times by az
 
Posted : 9th July 2024 5:06 pm
Thebean
(@thebean)
Posts: 194
 

@asmbtj5rgl  nice one...  Well done on your post.  It takes guts to just put it out there.

Getting over this is very often about 2 steps forwards and 1 step back.

Can you put blocks in place?  Get your other half to take control of your money?  Get on gamstop and take any other measure you can to block the gambling.

I am 41 now but have woken up to my gambling issues.  Best not to dwell over losses.  

Definitely take all the help you can get and keep coming back here and keep us updated.

 
Posted : 9th July 2024 10:58 pm
gadaveuk
(@gadaveuk)
Posts: 1807
 

Hi

Thank you for being honest.

I was not able to find a healthy life on my own with out going to meetings.

At the beginning it was very hard for me so I needed more meetings per week and use the telephone lists.

By investing more time in the recovery program I was abale to heal and become aamuch healthier person.

In time I got to understand what my emotional triggers. were.

Just for today  will not gamble.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

 
Posted : 10th July 2024 3:59 pm
 az
(@asmbtj5rgl)
Posts: 6
Topic starter
 

Thankyou for your kind words.we are all in this together and it means a lot and helps a lot to be able to speak openly about everything without getting judged.deep down i know im not a bad person.i just cant seem to keep this deadly disease at bay.im so determined to keep trying though

 
Posted : 11th July 2024 6:11 pm
 az
(@asmbtj5rgl)
Posts: 6
Topic starter
 

Only been a week but today is hard coz its the 1 day i lose control and be left full of regret after losing hundreds on horse racing in just a few hours.trying to keep busy as much as possible.its usually between 1 and 5 oclock i just warp into that dangerous place of losing all control.got a couple of books to read.paul mersons 'hooked' and russell brands recovery freedom from our addictions.anybody read them?

 
Posted : 13th July 2024 2:07 pm
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