well my story started 16 years ago. I lost my youngest son and was walking round town a bit lost oneday and found a bingo place and went in to play, you know the kind of seaside bingo that we used to play on holiday when we were kids. I played a few games and won a few vouchers but i was bored and got up to leave. The loo was in the other part through the mahine arcade and as i was passing through to go to the loo i put a pound coin in a machine pressed the play button and got three bars which paid me £25.00. it held and held again. wOW £75.00 QUID FOR JUST A POUND ! Next time i went to town i called in and lost about £30.00 quid including my bus fare and had to walk home. And so the story goes, i was hooked, allways looking for the BIG win. I would love to know how much i have put in the machines over the years, these days i dont go to play the machines unless i have a couple of hundred pounds and i dont often win but love the buzz. I also didcovered online gambling slots sites and won a £1,000 pounds a couple of times but soon played it back and lost lots more besides.
I have got to the stage 16 years later where i just cant take any more, sleepless nights, angry cos i have no money to gamble with, pay day comes n im off again. Just a couple of pounds i tell myself but it never is its always the full amount that i have in the bank or in my purse then im back to borrowing to live till the next pay day.
How do i stop ??? is there a cure. I feel like i have failed my family because i never have any money and often cant pay back what i have borrowed till months after.
I feel as though the world would be better off without me to be honest but dont really want to die just want to stop wasting my money . Please Please help.
Hi Caitesnan, take a read if my diary. I am currently battling against this also. Please feel free to join our thread as their is strength in numbers x We can and we Will !
Hi how do i read your diary please
Just click on my name
Hi caitesnan59.
Welcome to the forum which will be a great help and learning experience for you.
Your recovery starts when you realise you cant take ANY more and wont do it ANY more.
You are not alone. Every machine player and gambling addict will have lived those feelings.
Gambling was destroying us and easily creates the compulsive addiction.
The machines/online are deadly. We ignore the odds which are actually hundreds or thousands to one and we cant win because we cant stop. Its a complex addiction which also related to troubles in the soul. Many play for escape and just the feeling of playing. Its not really about the money when in the zone but the feeling of no food money afterwards is one of the lowest feelings ever
Yet I still returned which is a mark of how strong and complex the addiction is.
To stop you must tell someone close if possible and have the strength to self exclude from everywhere you have been playing and other places that are there to tempt you.
It really is about a born again moment when the fear of gambling overides everything else. Its a realisation that gambling is slowly killing you and its no fun. You know in your heart that its not fun and its devasting your finances. Its taken your pride and self respect already but you can get those back when you take the right measures.
Are you ready?... because it takes blocks and monitoring your money. I found it a huge relief to tell people and a huge pride in showing them my financial affairs and what I now do with my money. You need to tell them and immediately say what you plan to do like coming on this forum and handing them control of your cash access for a long while
That is the state of mind you need to be in . Please ring gamcare as many times as you like because the one to one voice will focus you
There is no shame in reaching out and admitting to an addiction.
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
I agree with having to tell. I told my partner and his reply was he has known for years I had a problem but didn't know how severe. He has the password to the block and incandescent honestly say, my gambling being in the open is making me stop. Gamblers loves a secret environment, telling a third party helps break that gambling relationship
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