Hello folks,
I'm completely new to this however, I have taken the time to read through some posts which have inspired me to turn my life around.
I am 25 years old and have been gambling for as long as I can remember. The last month has been the most horrendous of them all and I have made so many ridiculous decisions in relation to gambling which have clearly put me down a hole. The problem for me is my addiction to slots and fixed odds betting terminals. I cannot stand the things however it does not stop me from repeatedly feeding them with note, after note, after note. As soon as I step foot into a bookmakers or log into an online version, I immediately feel an overwhelming feeling of guilt. This may be my knowledge that I know deep down that even if I do win, those winnings are only seen as more ammunition to feed the machines until I'm left penniless.
My dream in life is to save up a reasonable amount of money, pay for that ring that she will love and get down on one knee and let her make a decision. The only thing that prevents me from doing this is gambling. I don't know if anyone alike gets the feeling I get when I'm betting and lose, and you think about that person that would do anything for you and you just feel utterly useless and disloyal. I have a decent job, a car that runs and so many good people around me so why do I do it?
This morning I lost even more money at which point I felt sick to the stomach. This is not good for my mental health and my head feels so heavy with all the worry within. This is my determined effort to change and get my life back. We can do this together folks and beat this horrible illness.
Thanks for taking your time to read through this. All advice and comments are greatly encouraged.
Scott.
Hi Scott - I was just reading your post and can relate very well. I cannot resist the urge even though I am immediately filled with guilt. I have wonderful things and all the possessions I could wish for, and most of all a loving girlfriend who would do anything for me. All I want is to make her happy and buy her nice things but I just find myself dumping my disposable income into gambling.
I joined the forum of Monday after a significant loss over the weekend. I relapsed yesterday and have since made every effort to block myself from being able to gamble. It's hard. I feel so guilty and I hate lieing but I do it.
I am hoping that talking and relating with others will help me (and so far it has). I hope it does the same for you too and encourage you to share as much as you can on here to help you overcome the addiction.
If I can be of any assistance then please utilise 🙂
Hi Upyagala
Thank you for my first reply. I am glad (without sounding hypocritical) that there is someone out there that can relate to my lifestyle. I don't know about you but I don't know how many times after losing I have physically said out loud to myself "THAT IS THE LAST". I am so ashamed of myself and I genuinely believe though that joining this forum and visiting very frequently I can overcome this illness.
I need to find some new hobbies and pass times. Sometimes I wish I worked every day because my job involves dealing with other peoples problems at which time I forget my own.
I have started writing things down to clear my head and I have just spent the last hour writing a poem related to gambling. I will post it on here and allow you to see and who knows you may give it a try two. By the sounds of it, you are a really decent person and I can genuinely tell how much your girlfriend means to you. Let's really go for it and show gambling who is boss. 🙂
Scott
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