I'm 24, I'm a gambling addict who's slowly over the last few years crept into more and more debt. It now stands between 25-30k, and my credit rating was screwed. I then had a Debt Management Plan set up to deal with that debt - all good, or so it seemed. I was then kicked out of my parent's house, and after paying back money owed to mates I would have had £750. Not enough to pay for rent and one and a half month's deposit, petrol etc etc etc, so I tried to gamble it higher (before paying any friends back). I was a couple of match points last night away from everything being sorted. He lost. Then i realised if I paid my friends back, I'd have little to NO money left for the month, so gambled again. to cut a long story short I've gambled all of my money away.
I currently have no home, no money and owe my friends money so am less than likely to be able to stay with them. I also can't pay any of my debtors back via my DMP. I'm genuinely scared of the situation I'm in and what I might end up having to do / doing.
Does anyone have any advice for me? Sorry if I seem dramatic but I don't think things could get much worse...
Hi, firstly my heart goes out to you, the way forward must appear bleak. However living on the streets is a no go option. First thing you must try is to go back to your parents, say sorry a thousand times for the reasons they kicked you out and ask may you sleep on the floor if necessary (beg I mean beg for forgiveness) If they love you they will let u stay, but from that moment forth you must be a changed person in yourself and maybe the way you treat others (especially your parents) The gambling has to stop, it can be done many others on here have stopped. You then have to go back to your DMP and tell them the probem. I'm sure they can offer guidance and help, you have reached rock bottom the only way is up. Keep posting and reading on here it helps.
Hi there - please please take note of Spaingone's advice - he knows what he's talking about. You don't indicate what form your gambling takes, but however you do it, put barriers in place to stop you. If it's online then self-exclusion and also a blocking programme such as K9 (free) or TXNoGam which I believe costs £20 and is even more stringent. You can also self-exclude from betting shops. That way you can at least show your parents that you are serious about giving up this awful addiction, and perhaps they will start to trust you again.
Best wishes for the journey.
Joanna
Hi Ben, i'm hugely sorry that you are experiencing what you are my friend - my heart goes out to you as well.
I have walked many miles in your shoes my friend. I lost two homes because of gambling - I remember walking the streets, looking for coppers to try and buy some out-of-date bread rolls.
It is grim, it is hard, but the bottom line is that your life cannot fail to improve from this point onwards without gambling. Nothing is worth feeling the way you are now, no amount of winnings, no big bets, nothing.
Your friends and family need time, and they need to see you making progress before you can start to build bridges; this is not going to happen overnight, but it something to aim for, and I can tell you, after five gamble-free years after gambling for twenty, nothing is better than seeing trust and hope regained in the eyes of those you care about most.
My advice would be to do whatever you need to do to survive at the moment my friend. Your options are limited and things look bleak, but it won't always be like this - there will be a time where things start to go your way again and this is when it is important to make sure you never, ever put yourself in a situation like this again.
Your biggest advantage is that you are 24; you have a great deal of time to turn things round, and there are a lot of open doors; this is what is important now - today & tomorrow; put your affairs in order as best you can, do what you need to do to be secure and safe as best you can, and then put all your energies into making sure you have a bright future.
This doesn't have to feel like the end, however desperate you are - this could be the beginning, a time where you learned your final lesson and you saw a life where you become nothing, and achieved nothing, purely through gambling compuslively - you seem like a decent, intelligent person my friend, you are worth more than this.
JamesP
Thanks for the responses, I really do appreciate them. The problem is that I lie to myself and to others, and I've become pretty good at it. 48 hours ago before I got paid I knew that I couldn't afford to lose the money, but I still did it. All I wanted was enough to pay for rent, deposit and living costs for that first month, and I would have been happy to give up gambling.
Another reason that I was so determined to avoid emergency housing etc was because the contact at the charity to email about emergency housing was my ex-girlfriends mother, a step I really didn't want to take.
I've spoken to unum life works through my work (confidentially) and they aren't sure whether I should explain my situation to my employers.
I'm an accounts assistant but I've currently avoided doing my exams as your membership gets abolished if you are declared bankrupt, so until all of this has blown over I wanted to keep them out if it. I'm not sure what good it can do (whether it will help them understand if my performance dips, whether they can offer me a loan / advance etc.) what is your advice regarding this?
Thanks all, I'm currently doing this in a car park off of my phone so sorry if it doesn't make sense!
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