Do things get better?

Hi Breakin, welcome to the Forum,

There are three very positive things that can immediately be garnered from your opening post my friend: 1) That you have posted here at all and 2) You have crossed the line of it being fun in your own mind and 3) You have self-excluded and installed blocking software.

I also gambled for twenty years before stopping over five years ago. I also reached a point where the money didn't matter - it becomes apparent after a while that we all do it for the euphoria, and being able to "numb out" the trials and tribulations of everyday life.

It can be a frightening prospect to change the habit of a lifetime; you have to commit to change, and you have to alter your routine but, whilst it is very hard at first, your mind begins to adapt; your urges lessen and you appreciate the value of money and the simple things in life again.

I am so emotionally distant from gambling now that regret has evolved into feeling like those acts were committed by another person, but I know that complacency will lead to me turning 20 years into 40 years, and a lifetime compromised by worry and debt.

This is what you must do in your own mind my friend - you recognize that you can't change your past and that is the right outlook to have; today is what is important, not yesterday, but you have to be ready for it, and you have to make sure that you do what is necessary.

After 20 years, I found that stopping left significant gaps in my life, so now I do charity work, sing, write, go hiking and so much more; these give me genuine happiness and fulfillment that gambling never could; there is no doubt in my mind that there are things out there that could do the same for you my friend, but you can't bury your head in the sand, you have to push yourself into finding these things for yourself.

Imagine posting here in another 20 years, saying you would do anything to get a time machine to get you back here, right now. It would likely be too much - you have a chance to take your life in another direction, right now; cherish it, value it and put everything you have into stopping, zero tolerance, once and for all.

Well done for being so honest, taking such positive steps, and for posting here - this isn't a story of shame - that story ended when you made your first post here. Now, it is a story of hope and positivity - this is what you must build on my friend.

JamesP

Thank you James P - your words have given me a bit of hope and brightened up what has been a dark, dark day.

Hi breakin - I can't really add to the wise words of James P, but just to say that in a few short hours you have already answered your topic question: "Do things get better?" Yes, they do and already you are beginning to feel a little more hopeful. You will find that every day that goes by without gambling you will feel a little stronger. Your emotions may be on a rollercoaster some days, but with every 'clean' day you can say: "I have not gambled" and be proud.

Best wishes for your journey.

Joanna