Don't know what to do

Hi Milly. I m relatively new to this. 15 days GF. But what I can tell you is that even at this early stage life is so much better without gambling. So the first thing I advise you to do is stop and put whatever steps you can in place to make sure you can’t start again. Draw a line under the money that’s lost. It’s gone and not coming back. Look at it like it’s the price you needed to pay to become GF and become happy again. Look after yourself and I wish you all the best.

I have no idea how it got this bad
I'm so scared I am going to lose everything

Welcome, stick around it helps, there’s loads of advice but the biggest I will give you is you must stop gambling, never go back.The money is gone and you need to deal with it, if it’s debt then they can only take what you can afford.Read the advice and act on it, many folk are in this mess with you, stop gambling , good luck.

Hi Milly.

You sound like you’re in a similar position to me. It’s soul destroying and so confusing thinking about what you’ve done. I liken it to an out of body experience when you’re right in the middle of gambling. You lose yourself, then you lose your money. Then beat yourself up afterwards. Thinking it was all just an expensive thrill that could have been done in a better way.

I’ve just lost most of my month’s wages and now have to stay indoors for the whole of April and have my friends wondering why I can’t come out for even one Friday evening (I’d be too embarrassed to tell them I literally have no money). I am living in my overdraft that the bank keeps charging me for being in and I will probably just about get by for food, food for work, travel, haircut, and all this type of thing. I’m sick of living like this and I’m sure you are too.

I’m guessing I had a mental breakdown too a while back, because that’s when I started drinking, gambling, smoking where I never had the urge to go wild before. It’s almost like you think in a split second ‘f**k it, I’m lucky to be here anyway. Let’s go for it’ but it just leads to pure regret and shame.

I’m beginning to realise and understand but it’s still hard to control. I think the only way to get through this is to start looking inside and realising why you are doing it and trying to make major steps to change, reinvent yourself or go back to how you used to be before gambling in a much happier time. Draw on inspirations from your childhood maybe, when you were always smiling and things seemed so much easier.

Talk to people here. Read the recovery stories. And please put blocks in place now. You have to want to do this. Please don’t let yourself get any worse. This gambling industry is destroying vulnerable people like us. We can’t allow it to happen to us anymore. Let’s get strong again. Let’s show them they can’t control us.

I’m really thinking of you.

Hi Milly

Am now past 100 days GF having tried to quit gambling more times than I can remember, gambled for approximately 25 years.

Firstly agree with others..you need to stop gambling and don't beat yourself up about the losses..no point to it.

Regards your debts contact Step change debt charity, rehgards gambling try and get yourself one to one counselling..if not get to to GA meeting.

I also was pointed in the direction of Alan Carr's stop gambling book.

Having read many books on the subject I was pessimistic at first but it has really helped and changed my outlook completely.

His general premise is that trying to quit through will power will never work as this method does not remove the desire to gamble.

Anyway I really hope you get the help you need, believe me and others when they say life's so much better without gambling.

Good luck

Bluemountain

Milly150185 wrote: I have no idea how it got this bad I'm so scared I am going to lose everything

You definitely won’t lose everything if you stop now. You ll recover day by day. Be strong from here on

Millie if you're an online gambler sign up to gamstop. You should also get Gamban to ou on gadgets. Counselling from gamcare and GA meetings. This will get a whole lot worse if you don't put blocks in place and get some real help.

Hello Milly150185,

Please call us on our freephone 0808 8020 133 for some emotional support if you feel like talking. If you aren't already using our free therapy services locally, we can facilitate a referral. We can also give you details of other types of support, information and advice, including details of services that offer free debt advice, housing advice, practical local support.

Take care,

Forum Admin.

Thanks guys
I have taken a few steps
I have applied for an iva
And have self excluded from all the sites
I have a psychotherapist who I see weekly since my breakdown

I cant get rid of this sick feeling but its what i deserve

We deserve a better life but only you can change it, we all have it in us to change, just want it badly.

Good luck

Forum admin wrote:

Hello Milly150185,

Please call us on our freephone 0808 8020 133 for some emotional support if you feel like talking. If you aren't already using our free therapy services locally, we can facilitate a referral. We can also give you details of other types of support, information and advice, including details of services that offer free debt advice, housing advice, practical local support.

Take care,

Forum Admin.

Hi
The IVA guy has said i dont qualify until I have not gambled for a month is this right ?

Hello Milly,

Well done for self-excluding. It is good that you have the support of a therapist locally. If you call us on our freephone 0808 8020 133 or netline, we can also give you details for an offer for free blocking software.

If you want an expert response from a professionally trained debt adviser, it is best to discuss your debt questions with a free debt advice service. Some of our forum users have posted positive feedback about using free professional debt advice services like the National Debtline 0808 808 4000, StepChange 0800 138 1111 or PayPlan 0800 280 2816. There are other free services like the Money Advice Service on 0800 138 7777 https://www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/en You can see more free advice services are detailed on our links page https://www.gamcare.org.uk/about-us/links-other-support-agencies

Take care,

Forum admin.