Down and out

Hi Flamingo

Sometimes we need something big to happen in order to shake us out of a reverie and in the long term this could be a blessing in disguise. You cannot defend the indefensible, but if you can demonstrate your remorse and put your hands up, maybe they will give you another chance. I was recently reinstated nearly 4 months after being sacked for alleged gross misconduct. It was not connected to gambling and although I had done nothing wrong it was a difficult time, so I feel for you. If you could find a Gamblers Anonymous meeting for Monday evening, not only would you hopefully find it personally beneficial, but it would show that you recognise that you have a gambling problem and are doing something positive about it. It sounds like you have the legal side covered but I found ACAS a great source of information and support.

I last gambled over 18 months ago and am confident that I never NEED to gamble again. I consider that I had become addicted to gambling and treating it as an addiction really helped me to overcome my problem. It was tough for a long time and I 100%needed blocking software on my computer to help me in times of weakness. People only come to sites like this if they feel they have a problem and unfortunately there is no one size fits all solution. Keep focused and remember what brought you here. I hope that you keep your job and can use this experience as a springboard for a better you and a great future.

All the best

Ken

Hi Flamingo,

I have been a compulsive gambler for some 10 years and can relate to all the emotions you describe.

A year or two ago I was in the same position as you. I gambled at work and dishonoured an instalment of a large loan my boss had made to me to help me pay off a gambling debt. A copy of his letter can be found in one of my threads in the recovery diaries section.

I can imagine how anxious you are feeling right now. My advice to you is to go into that disciplinary meeting head held high and admit that you were wrong. Tell them that you have a problem, that you are taking positive steps to resolve it and that it will not happen again and then stick to it.

The only reason I have a job is because my boss respected my honesty to him and that I accepted that I had a problem. Be honest, open and show you are willing to beat this and you may be surprised.

I hope it goes well. Do stay strong and let us know how you get on. You will be surprised at how amazing some of ths guys on here can make you feel.

Best,

Mark

Thanks for the replies, it is a pleasure to be surrounded by such positive influences on this sight. I only hope I can stay gamble free and honest to myself for the long term this time.

I'll be honest; don't expect it to be easy, but the benefits from doing something meaningful, challenging, healthy and rewarding with my time are greater than I could possibly have imagined when I was wasting all my spare hours in the futile pursuit of money with no worth. I could have hundreds of pounds of winnings in my pocket one minute and be walking home with no bus fare soon after.

A little money goes a long way in the hands of a wise man. It is never too late to become the person that is really you.

Ken

Hi Flamingo, firstly all the best for Tuesday.

Hopefully, you will keep your job and hopefully this will spur you on to quit.

Back in the 90's, I used to gamble during worktime, but of course it wasn't online back then and I would trawl the arcades, when I should have been working. Looking back I realise how foolish it was, as I now enter my 27 year towards my company pension. If I had been found out, I'm pretty sure I would have been sacked and only by keeping my job, did I manage to survive and service my debts, until I decided to quit.

If you can show the people concerned you have a gambling problem, but are trying to sort it out, hopefully, it will be enough for them to give you another chance.

Hi Flamingo,

I've just had a look through what the other people have posted. I agree with what's been said. You demonstrate that you are you are have sought help to sort your gambling problem out. If you say to the hearing people that you have actually contacted Gamcare re counselling or GA about attending meetings it could go a long way to getting you out of the s**t. It will prove to them your intent to quit. Possibly a letter from your girlfriend to the hearing stating that she fully intends to support you throughout won't go amiss either. Last but not least a heartfelt apology from you sayiong how ashamed you feel about what's happened. None of us can predict the outcome of your hearing but if you can sit tight and make the right noises you may be OK by the skin of your teeth. I know it must be a very stressful situation for you right now.

Best Wishes

Hi flamingo,

Firstly, well done for making the decision to get your life back on track and coming onto the Gamcare forums. I have everything crossed for you for tomorrow. As everyone else has said, man up, admit the problem, apologise profusely, show what steps you have taken to try to get this addiction under control, offer to work early, late, through break times to at least try to make back some of the lost time. Throw yourself at their mercy - I'm sure if someone had an alcohol addiction they wouldn't sack them the first time they noticed said person was drunk, so don't see why it should be any different for a gambling addiction. Strong, firm, even final warning yes, but not the sack. Once you have got through tomorrow, come back and let us know how you got on. Then you're at the business end of getting the gambling under control. I've been on here for 3.5 weeks and have had so much support - it really has been a Godsend. There are so many people in many stages of their own journey willing to offer support and encouragement. I'm rooting for you Flamingo, as is everyone who has read your post. With the support of your parents, girlfriend and fellow Gamcare soldiers, you will get through this.

Best of luck,

Rachel

Good luck today Flamingo. Remember: humble and honest. You can do it.

Whatever happens do let us know how you get on later - you have many a friend here who shares your problem.

Mark

Hi everyone,

i am overwhelmed by the support I have got since my first post on gamcare. My meeting with work today was a tough one, and I am left with no idea what the outcome is still. My manager has requested more time to think about my proposal of a switch of role outside of accounts and ultimately access to cash. I am hopeful but from what I heard in the meeting it is a bit of a long shot. Anyway, whatever will be will be and the most important thing for me right now is that I have been gamble free for 6 days and my girlfriend is still by my side.

I am not sure what this may do to my future job prospects but I will find something to keep me in work for the time being. The gambling urges are minimal at the moment but when I first stop it always seems easy not to. The real test tends to come when I least expect it and in the most unlikely moment.

thats it for now but I would like to tell everyone a bit more about me and my specific gambling case tomorrow. It feels good to share!

thanks for reading.

Hi Flamingo,

Oh how frustrating - what a shower of ships to keep you hanging on while they 'think about it!' Hang on in there and be sure to come back to let us know how you got on. Glad to see you've stayed on the wagon in this testing time, well done mate 🙂

Rach

Well done Flamingo 6 days in these testing times is great. Do not put yourself down because you have took massive steps on your journey this last week.

As others have said, well done on 6 days.

I think the important thing is to focus on keeping gamble free, whatever happens. Remember even if the worse happens, it is the gambling that has led to the situation, so is not your friend in any shape or form. Many will turn towards, gambling like other do with drink, when they are at a low ebb. But instead turn to love ones and to people such as gamcare to help you get through it.

Hi all,

its been 10 days now and still going strong. I managed to keep my job and am overwhelmed by the support I am getting in work! People never fail to surprise you in life. My relationship is still very rocky but my girlfriend is still with me so that gives me time to right all the wrongs and give her the future she deserves. It is very difficult knowing the one you love is not where she wanted to be in life all because of your problem but there's no point in dwelling on what has been and gone.

ive had a lot of time to sit and think about my future lately and it really does have a lot of purpose but gambling has no part of a positive 'happy' ending. Sports in play betting is my weapon of choice and this makes it extra hard for me as I am an absolute sports fanatic, playing and watching. I am just trying to cut down my random watching of sport that I'm not really that interested in like basketball, tennis, rugby league as when all is said and done the only reason I watch these is for the betting stats. Sometimes I will set in watch a match and think about the bets I would have own or lost and when that is the case there is no reason to watch it if I'm not betting. Difficult to understand the hold it has over you but it never goes away that is one thing I know for sure. Will power and a new way of thinking along with a lot of support is the only way forward for me. I am determined to see betting as something that is unnecessary in my life as when you really consider it.....what good does it bring. It has put my life on hold for far too long!

thanks for reading

What can I say....I've bet again and I've lied to all the people I care about even lied on this forum! I'm not sure what the point of that is and I'm not even sure if people do that! I feel so abnormal just want it all to go away! I am about to lose my girlfriend and she is the best thing in my life but she has been a saint to stick around this long. Ifeel very alone as I can't talk to my parents or my siblings whilst my mum is going through a tough battle with cancer it would destroy her. Can someone give me some advice so I can stop this demon that has me over a barrel as I just feel helpless and everything feels pointless. to top it all off we were off to America on a dream holiday this weekend and now because of my worthless addiction we can't go and I have to face this hellish situation without the people I love.