Hi I'm Steven and I'm in a bad state right now. Have been a compulsive gambler for many years now. Today I lost £2000 and am now overdrawn by £1500 and feel that this is my rock bottom, But a few months back i also lost a large sum of £3000 and thought that that was my rock bottom back then. I am completely lost, cannot deal with this addiction. I need to stop before it puts a strain on my relationship with my girlfriend. She does not know about it but alot of my mates do which is embarrassing and makes me feel awful. I find myself bragging about my wins and then a few weeks later calling them talking about my losses and how low i feel. I have no savings and am overdrawn now. Have rent to pay and my girlfriend thinks I am fine financially but she does not know at all as am very secretive with my finances. Just here not for pitty but for some advice maybe some are in similar situations. I understand that many are in a worse position than myself but right now I dont know what to do. I work but self emplyed so clients pay me sporadically which means I'm not sure how I'm going to be able to pay this off and have enough for next months rent.
Thanks and sorry for waffling. Hoping today is my last day gambling, have been playing roulette every day this year pretty much.
Hi Steven
Well done for joining up and welcome to the forum.
You will get lots of support here, from lots of good people who understand your feelings.
Use this moment to block yourself from online sites - use GAMSTOP - and you may feel much better if you tell your partner everything. If you don’t get help now and talk to her and really take on board the advice you get, then further worse rock bottoms can come in the future. Take this feeling and really work to change - focus on the fact that what’s done is done and it’s not coming back. Don’t chase it will be worse and each morning tell yourself that for today you won’t gamble.
Best of luck
Hello fella,
You're not going to like this but the first thing you need to do is to tell your girlfriend. Then after the storm dies down, get her to be the ADMIN and set the admin password on your devices with K9 software. It's free. It'll block all gambling sites. Second and do it before telling your other half, register with gamstop. It'll bar you from casino's for up to 5 yers. Use the 5 year option.
Thirdly, move your finances to a bank that blocks all gambling transactions on your card.
Telling her will be hard but it'll be a weight off your shoulders...I wish you well.
Thanks guys for the reply. I know i need to. Its so hard for me to tell her as i fear the worst. She is away on holiday for the week till next wednesday. So i dont want to ruin her holiday but i guess i will have to somehow own up when she comes back. Thanks for the advice on the gambling blockers. My main problem is fobts at the bookies. Never really go online. although i do have k9 just in case. my work means i have gaps in the day which is where i do the gambling, visits to the bookies on the roulette. Its weird, I'll exercise and stuff but yet it still does not fill the void. I need to add more activities or something to stop me
Leave your card at home. I get caught out when I am walking past a bookies. Leave it at home and bring £20 with you, or whatever you need to ge through that outing.
Today is day 1 and its 9am and already had some thoughts of going to the bookies. I just want to get through today initially so thanks urgh for the suggestion leave cards at home. will do so. I am going to get on my bike and do some deliveries to make some money even if its 20 or 30 quid which is nothing compared to the losses i guess its a start. going to try to just use this forum as an outlet/journal. As I haver always tried to deal with this alone. So am really thankful for the advice already.
There are many people here who will tell you everything’s going to be ok and give you a shoulder to cry on
However the reality is If you have a quick look through this forum you will realise that your case is not a unique one you are just another account number to an industry that turns over 14 billion a year
The bank is laughing as you will have to pay interest on the overdraft
Infact The only people that don’t profit from the gambling industry is the punters ……trust me gambling really isn’t a wise lifestyle choice
try something else
Yup you are right nipped. Nobody can sugar coat it. It is what it is and its the case for many people here like myself. Today is day 2 and again had urges when cycling around making deliveries. I didnt give in, i know it doesnt mean anything and i shouldnt celebrate small wins. The day is still young. heading back to my mums to pass my cards to her. Again I apologise if nobody wants to read this but its helping me to put this in writing. Hoping it may also push others journey on. I will do this daily or whenever i feel as it is reinforcing that hate i have for gambling and fobts. Hope everyone is well
I was in exactly the same situation, finally came out to my Mrs and i feel so much better for it. Best thing is to just tell her, I’m now 16 days gamble free and she’s managing my finances. It’s the only way I would have stopped.
bensmith89 wrote:
I was in exactly the same situation, finally came out to my Mrs and i feel so much better for it. Best thing is to just tell her, I’m now 16 days gamble free and she’s managing my finances. It’s the only way I would have stopped.
Thanks for the message Ben. How did that go? had she known before about it? I have told her before about one occasion but downplayed it as nothing. Little does she know. Congratulations on the 16 days. I have a relapse today. And now have £38 left on my overdraft. I am £1600 down and feel absolutely awful. Had a call with gamcare just now they are hoping to set up group counselling from next week.
We done on taking the steps to stop gambling... I’ve been actually where you are now, (many times) took me a long time to tell my partner, truth be told It took me a few attempts to tell her the full story. I had to right down the pros and cons of gambling and the cons out weigh the pros ! However it’s not easy because nothing beats a massive win! However hours,days,weeks,months and years later gambling takes it all back and some more of your soul so do we really win! Can’t talk for anybody else the cravings get better.... with the occasional urge when you least expect it, this is when you need to hope that all your barriers/ blocks are in place... (learned this the hard way) Not sure what hobbies you have? But keeping busy helps, creating new habits, As for dealing with debt one step at a time, seek help Pro help , easier said than done, but if you are anything like I was there part of you that may feel you’ll win it back, but again who really wins, and if you lose.... that feeling of rock bottom hits you like a ton of bricks, Sounds horrible but when I first joined I wanted to hear how much others lost as it eased my suffering, but winnings and losing is all relevant to the person , however ive lost about 18k in two nights and I have a min wage job, but that is irrelevant but just incase you wanted to hear it! Good luck hope this helped,
Dre wrote:
We done on taking the steps to stop gambling... I’ve been actually where you are now, (many times) took me a long time to tell my partner, truth be told It took me a few attempts to tell her the full story. I had to right down the pros and cons of gambling and the cons out weigh the pros ! However it’s not easy because nothing beats a massive win! However hours,days,weeks,months and years later gambling takes it all back and some more of your soul so do we really win! Can’t talk for anybody else the cravings get better.... with the occasional urge when you least expect it, this is when you need to hope that all your barriers/ blocks are in place... (learned this the hard way) Not sure what hobbies you have? But keeping busy helps, creating new habits, As for dealing with debt one step at a time, seek help Pro help , easier said than done, but if you are anything like I was there part of you that may feel you’ll win it back, but again who really wins, and if you lose.... that feeling of rock bottom hits you like a ton of bricks, Sounds horrible but when I first joined I wanted to hear how much others lost as it eased my suffering, but winnings and losing is all relevant to the person , however ive lost about 18k in two nights and I have a min wage job, but that is irrelevant but just incase you wanted to hear it! Good luck hope this helped,
Thanks Dre Im sorry to hear about it. I think i will take your advice, have a sit down and really assess the pros and cons. I clearly know there are no pros. We all know it is a mugs game but somehow it hasa hold of us all, this is the first time im really aknowledging that i have a problem. I'm so scared to tell her at the moment, keep thinking that if i work hard ill be able to pay some off, and itll be okay in a month. But i know the reality is it wont.
Same situation as me don't know how I'm gonna put a roof ovee my head lucky you have a job ! You can start all over again .!
Hi - my names Alex and i’ve just joined - I really need to speak to someone desperately - is this the right place for this?
Hi Alex,
Welcome to the Forum. Would you maybe like to post in the new members https://www.gamcare.org.uk/frontline-services/netlineto introduce yourself?
You can always contact us to speak to an adviser directly between 8 am and midnight either on the HelpLine on 0808 80 20 133 or contact us on the Netline.
We are happy to hear from you.
Kind wishes
Gabriele
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