First step

Yeah I failed. I got greedy and lost my head.. and I won't have the money until Tuesday. My girlfriend won't be happy.. I'm not happy.

Stop now before it's too late. I endured last month having lost everything spare within a day or two, probably the same the month before. Today I have done it again within 3 hours getting up and at work. Left midday, couldn't sit there sweating with despair as the £600 spare I had went to s**t again. This time I feel even more lost and numb then usual after losing it all and realising it's another month of embarrassment, self hatred and failing to see what the point is in carrying on. I can't even have the courage to end it. I hate myself. It really has turned me and I'm only 6 years down the line of a potential life time of this s**t. I see all the steps that people take and the necessary steps that are advised for successful recovery and I can't even bring myself to do any of them. I feel I will already know or feel what a councillor would say and so it is daunting or off putting to seek help in that way. I am anxious and extremely tired, the thought of going to a GA meeting and open up seems pointless. I know the steps I need to take to even have a good chance of abstaining but I never do it. Months of this s**t and I still do it. I just want some of my money back. I understand that's a ridiculous mentality. Really had enough. So yeah don't be like me, live the month free of that mental c**t of a burden of having lost it all again weighing you down.

Hi all

I would just like to say there is no room for half measures and those are not the real tests. Ive been there. I thought that buying a microwave or something before gambling meant I was getting it under control. I wasnt and I kept gambling and relapsing constantly.

I could pay a couple of bills but I was gambling everything else and more on the credit card so I was deluding myself. Its a false test which can be manged by gamblers but doesnt really mean much. Whats happening is your addiction is saying alright then buy cinema tickets but dont forget about my gambling needs...then when you start gambling the red mist starts again and you cant stop.

Its too easy to say oh thats good you have gambled less because it doesnt actually mean the addiction is being beaten if you understand me

The test is COLD TURKEY and ABSTENTION with full blocks and monitoring.

Once the addiction has a hold there is no such thing as controlled gambling. It is like saying an alcoholic can just have a couple of drinks or a class A user can just have a little dabble once they have been hooked.

If you continue to gamble its not a recovery allowing the mind to heal. Theres no advice here that says step the gambling down bit by bit when we have been addicts. I will tell you why...it doesnt really work because most of us tried that thinking we could use just a bit of willpower.

Only you know your bank statements but when are you going to hit that all time low that gambling has lined up for you??

So with tough love Im mentioning that you have created a false comfort zone the addiction needs. Its a split mind control and the addiction isnt letting you free until you really say no more and get help.

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

You were here two months ago.. almost to the date. Trying to justify some form of ‘reasonable gambling’ but stated that you also have a problem.

What’s changed since then Onepunchjamoo? 2 Months is a long time and I can almost guarantee you will say nothing has changed.

How has your reasonable gambling gone over the past 2 months? Judging by this post it sounds like you’re back at square one.

I don’t mean to be rude, just sometimes it helps to look back on what has changed.. or hasn’t changed. I read a post on here once and a quote sums it up perfectly.

‘Nothing changes if nothing changes’

In reality we won’t win, we won’t have ‘our time’ when betting or gambling. We seem to kid ourselves thinking the gambling gods owe it to us because it has GOT to happen at some point.

As others have said, it’s all or nothing. All in or fold. You can’t have the best of both worlds so I’d say you need to make a decision. Whether it be continue to gamble until the time is actually right to give up. Or just give up now. It’s up to you..

That's a lot to reply to guys.. I don't think what I wanted to do was crazy or deluded to be honest. Sorting out priorities then gambling spare money you'd spend on some other entertainment (gambling is entertainment) doesn't seem bad in my eyes?. I can't still do the things I want to do.. I think my attitude has changed in the past couple of months,maybe.. who knows. I had a bit of a thing a few weeks ago where I lost a lot and ended up getting a small loan but when comparing myself to other people on here, it's really not a big deal. I'm not thousands of pounds in debt and I never go hungry. I'm not currently working and I'm not even going to bother look for work until I come back off holiday later in the month. I'm in a good place and it's just money. I think this gambling thing really depends on the position you're in and your attitude but my opinion and mood changes a lot so who knows. Appreciate your opinions and advice guys.

another month broke and hating myself I guess

If you think it’s entertainment and that your gambling is control, why are you even here?

There must be a reason and you must know deep down that you have got a problem with gambling.

This forum isn’t a place to post updates on your wins or losses either. This forum is for people who want help and want to give help when giving up gambling.

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Hi Jamoo .

I think from where I'm sitting your very much in denial that you have a problem which isn't that unusual on these pages especially among newbies but the fact that your here at all kinda tell's me you do have a problem as a Compulsive gambler and whilst at the moment your not in debt you certainly will be sooner rather than later and you definately can't stop what your doing ? .

I feel the question you need to be asking yourself is " Do I want to stop gambling or just stop losing "

Your choice my friend :))

Hello Everyone,

Thank you for contributing to the forum and accessing the support of eachother. Recovery can be challenging and difficult and sometimes people take different steps in stopping and reducing gambling, and this does mean differneces of opnions and steps. Sometimes it takes others longer to see how gambling is impacting them and other around them negatively. However being able to offer support and advice from eachothers experience is a really valuable tool.

As moderators we do ask that the focus of the forum stays with problem gambling, so this does mean being sensitive to what eachother are posting such as posts about gambling profits, losses and specificying amounts can be triggers for some, so to be mindful of such posts.

Please can we also be mindful to refrain from making personal comments of others in a negative way, and although at times situations and discussions can be frustrating, we encourage everyone to be midnful of the way we use our language and respond to others. If you feel there is some negative behaviours in the forum please contact the forum admin team on forum.admin@gamcare.org.uk

Please continue to post here, you are all coming from a positive recovery place and hope you can continue to support one another.

Please feel free to contact the forum admim if you have any problems or difficulties with the forum context, or just need extra support and advice.

Thank you all.

Take Care

Forum Admin