Anxiety and developing a gambling problem

Hi there,

I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder about a year ago. Although have had this for a much longer period of time. I was in a good job but left it as I wanted to pursue another path. However, I had to wait 9 months from the date I left until I got an opportunity to do what I wanted. I had a bit of money saved so i wanted to do my own thing, which turned out bad for me in hindsight. Once I left, my anxiety took over and because I didn't have an income, in my mind I thought trading stocks at high leverage was a way to make money. I ended up not knowing what I was doing and after a couple wins I became addicted, I was gambling so much to point where I lost a couple thousand over 3 month period. Crazy right? I told my friend and he helped me get out of this and I had stopped. But my constant worry of not having a job and an income, I discovered matched betting. If any of you don't know what it is, it's basically using free bets and making money risk free by betting against all outcomes. This was great as I was making enough without actually gambling.

However, after a while the urges came back, I saw gambling as a way to make money again. About a month ago I started playing live roulette. I ended up winning like 1k fron ВЈ20 and I just couldn't stop. I ended up losing this 1k and I put ВЈ400 more to try to get my losses back. This then happened again about 3 weeks back, then again 2 weeks ago. I opened up and told my same friend and he helped me and I blocked a couple of the live casinos and I promised I wouldn't do it again. But today I did it again, I somehow made 2k from ВЈ150 at the start and I lost it all within an hour, I couldn't stop myself and ended up depositing £400 to try and win my money back and lost that.

I see that this isn't logical, but my brain just doesn't comprehend when I'm so engaged in gambling. It's so much money yet I always can never say enough is enough. When do I become satisfied with the amount of winnings? This has become more frequent. It's like it's taken over me and I know isn't helping my anxiety. I feel it's a way to escape but I know it's even worse for me. Not only financially but mentally, if I carry on, god knows how I'll end up.

I need to stop and I'm going too. Today I blocked myself from all the casinos I could think of. Deleted all the apps on my phone. I need to be strong and not let this ruin my life as I know it's on the track to. I keep beating myself up so bad about how much savings I lost but it's done now, the only way is forward. It's not going to be easy but I have to stop. I just wanted to get some advice on how not to relapse and go back to it. Luckily I have something lined up starting this month that will distract me and a good supportive friend who knows about my problem. Really wish I accepted I had a problem earlier