First time here, hoping to help others

Dear @pd7333

Thank you for posting and sharing your story on our forum. I am so sorry to hear about your on-going battle with gambling and that you now find yourself waiting to hear about how your case will be dealt with by the police.

The situation that you are in sounds incredibly stressful and I'm pleased to read that you have accepted medical help and that you are having counselling. This can be an option that some feel isn’t for them, but it so important to look after your mental health and you have proved that by engaging positively with counselling  it has helped.

You are fortunate as you say to have such a supportive wife and you are doing all of the right things by opening up to her and allowing her to manage your finances and by talking to specialists about your debt.

You don’t mention in your post whether you now have support in place to help you to stop gambling and to maintain this. If you haven’t already done so I would strongly encourage you to contact on us our netline or helpline and one of Advisers will be able to help. We are here for you 24 hours 7 days a week.

Kind regards

Jo

Forum Admin

Hiya pd7333

Sorry to read your story my friend but your not on your own when it comes to gambling and theft.I used my partners PayPal account running up debts off nearly  £8000 in the space of 1hr. So if I'd been at work having access to cash I couldn't say I wouldn't use it. Gambling is a powerful and evil addiction and it's recognized as that by the nhs now. They have a gambling addiction support and also deal's with your mental health side. I read a story I think it was last week someone had stole over a hundred thousand pounds from their best friend to fund their gambling addiction. The judge called it a powerful drug that the gambling company's hold out like a carrot to a donkey, hopefully your work will come to some arrangement or if you do have to go to court just explain how hard it's been and your not a dishonest person your just a problem gambler that's got in to far as it's that sort off addiction. I so hope it all goes well for you as you need help not punishment. Plus if you've got a clean record what's the point in putting you in prison surly it's not in the public's interest. Sorry to ask but what has your solicitor said you don't have to answer if you don't want. I will look out for you but as I said your not on your own 

Sorry I forgot to say contact the advisors on this site as their great and have a wealth off knowledge that you may not have known 

Hi Jo

I am indeed speaking to you guys getting help as well as others. 

You do a great job and I'll be forever thankful. 

Hi Kev

Still very early days re solicitors etc. So nothing really to say on that. I'm also using the site and phone help. It's amazing and really does help. 

Sorry to hear your story mate. What I'm slowly understanding is that everyone is effected differently by their own stories. If by telling others my own story that it helps just one person, then I'll be elated. 

I'm confident I can rebuild myself and my life, but it's still very scary. I always say it's like talking about someone else. Someone I hate and can't imagine ever being like, even though it was me?

I'm also learning slowly that punishing yourself isn't the way. As much as I want to, it's a selfish thing to do, and gambling makes you that self indulged person. 

@pd7333

It's good that you're here but a shame that it's your story that's brought you here. Hopefully you can take as much out of the forums as you can and in time your story may help others.

I hope you can find a GA room when they reopen as you'll be able to talk about your situation with others who understand. The difference is you don't want to say too much on a public forum which is understandable, but as on here there will be others who have gone through similar experiences who can give you advice. 

From my own experience, even if you've given your company or the police all the details of your fraud, it can still take months to get to a place where they prosecute. If you are able to talk to your company and have an agreement without any police action that will save you a lot of hardship but if it's too late for that then be prepared to wait, but try to be as productive in your recovery as you can.

The laws surrounding fraud with responsibility will always have a custodial sentence but this can be suspended. Being honest immediately with any investigation, pleading guilty at the first opportunity and really trying to change and see the error of your ways will go a long way to getting any sentence suspended, which has to be the ultimate aim.

There's another time and place for the discussion about the judicial system with gambling related crimes, not here, but I wish you well on your recovery, and hopefully you can accept that gambling has you beat and you can't control it. Your actions have shown that. You do have an addiction and it can't be controlled. It can be arrested though, one day at a time.

Good luck.

Chris.

Hiya pd7333

I'm really upset about your story as you've done no more than me stealing off my partner but the police wouldn't charge me with fraud even although I wanted them to so my partner got her money back. I really hope you can sort this out with your company 

Hi Chris ty info  recieved.

Hi pd7333 thank you for sharing with us. Very brave of you to do so under the v difficult circumstances. So glad that you are getting good support both professional and on a personal level. This support and all the other things you have put in place will help you immensely they have me in fact I'm looking to take my recovery forward with GA in my area still no physical meetings but I'm starting with a zoom meeting next Monday and they hoping to restart physical meetings soon, maybe this would also be helpful for you.. I feel you have started to accept what's happened and hoping to help others with your story is taking a good step forward. Good luck and best wishes

@charlieboy No problem, hope it works out for you.

@kevthekev40 I'm not advising this because the debt can be repaid, but if you went with your partner to the police station and she reported theft from her account and you admitted it, or went to PayPal and put in a complaint who then went to the police, the police would have to investigate it, put it to the CPS and they decide what to prosecute. 

I would suggest her contacting PayPal and the betting company as money from criminal activity can be returned. It isn't easy but may be better than having this huge overdraft taking everything. 

Chris.

Hiya Chris 

Thanks for your input my friend but PayPal were useless as I was using the same ip address as my partner had used for PayPal, I even had the help off an mp and still they concluded that it wasn't fraudulent. Honestly it's been a night mare as my partner also only had  £1000 PayPal credit but they just drained her bank and overdraft. I still have people fighting for me at the moment against the gambling company as they should've had a duty of care as only  £20 was ever bet on that account. You name it its been tried, crisis team wouldn't allow police to take matter any further as my mental health was impaired. But thanks for the suggestions and will keep you informed off the outcome I can only say I've got some big wigs in my corner but the gambling company's have a law to themselves. Basically they used credit to place my spins but it was banned on the 14th of April and this was the 24th of April they are a law to themselves 

Hello Pd7333

Firstly may I thank you for your brutal honesty and congratulate on reaching out for help on here.

Compulsive gambling is indeed a destructive illness, and I think it's healthy to understand that it is an illness; not an excuse, but an illness never-the-less.

Unfortunately, many people hit rock bottom before we realise that we are powerless over gambling and our lives have become unmanageable. I am so sorry you have reached that part of your life, however, you are now in a position to seek help, make changes and head towards a better quality of life.

Some practical steps that may help, are registering with Gamstop to exclude from online gambling platforms and self exclude from betting venues. If you could attend GA meetings along with using this forum, i'm sure you would benefit from the experience of others.... If you do these things; perhaps it could be highlighted in your legal defense.

What is done - is done. However, it would be wise to use this low ebb in your life to make a fresh start to becoming gamble free. 

I am a compulsive gambler... in recovery

I sincerely wish you the very best for your future

Pete123