Hi,
I started using this site about a week ago and this is my first post. I am in my 30's and have gambled for as long as I can remember. It was never a problem until the electronic roulette machines hit the bookies. It started off small but quickly added up. Years on these machines led to online casinos. Before I met my now wife it seemed easy as no one else to wonder where my funds were going. I kept the addiction to a minimum for years but it really came to a head about 5 years ago. I was earning more money than I ever had and was getting used to the money I saw gambling as a way to increase my funds and enjoy more of the life i was getting used to. As you can imagine the wins did not come flowing in and I started to get loans. Rather than using the loans to survive on or pay bills with I gambled it to try and pay for everything. The more loans I got the bigger the monthly re-payments became but while I was able to apply I kept going. The trouble really started to begin as the interest was getting to high and I had more going out than I did coming in.
My first port of call was to my parents. I said i had got myself into trouble and they bailed me out. I told them I had stopped and all my loans were paid off, this was not true and rather than telling the truth then I only told what I could get away with. At this point I was still gambling but because I owed so many different companies money it was hard to find large funds. At this point I began to steal money from under people noses and covered it up. I used some of the money for loan repayments but gambled the rest. I was winning big but this only made it worse. The more i got away with the more i stole. The next person to find out was my wife. Finding letters and unpaid bills. I had treated her so badly but she stuck by me and she was the next person to bail me out. I knew if I continued to lie I would lose her and my kids but this did not seem to stop me. I kept gambling and the remaining loans just got too much. I was on the edge and even though I was covering everything up it was so stressful just making the end of the month. my wife found out again and although we had so many rows she stood by me again and paid off the loans.
I have not gambled since then and although its only about 2 months it feels great. Unfortunately this is where the biggest problem starts. It has now been discovered that I had stolen money over the years and it nows needs to be repaid. I cant afford to and nor can my wife. I thought I was in so deep I had knowhere to go. It was time to own up to everyone close to me. My family has rallyed round and although my wife does want me out she said she cant do it because of the kids. My family also do not want to just bail me out as it is an easy out for me again.
It is so hard to explain to my wife that even though i have done all this s**t i really love her and the kids.
Understandably my family want me to cut all ties to gambling to stop falling back into the habbit. I have self excluded myself from all my online sites. I am handing my bank account over to my wife. I know this is my last chance with everyone so I cant blow it.
As I am currently in a mindset of not gambling because I do not want to lose my family would going to councelling be beneficial? Would it be better to chat on here while I am in a good place or start sessions anyway to make sure I do not rellapse?
many thanks
Hello Lamby,
I can understand how gambling can make one lie to love ones, as I have done that numerously.
With respect to preventing your relapse, it really depends on what you are comfortable with. Many people have had success either way, thru the chat room or counselling. I would say, try both, as see which one you are comfortable with. I am hoping for your success.
Regards
AM
Thanks Pure
I think my biggest worry is that the councelling idea would be because I am trying to prove to my family i am doing everything possible rather than chosing it myself. In my mind i am determined to stop otherwise i lose my kids and wife. I do understand though that if they are going to bail me out again they dont want to be throwing more money away.
Reading the stories on here show that although i believed to have hit rock bottom it can get worse and has really opened my eyes. It is something to think about and not rush the biggest thing is handing over all access to money which I have done.
regards,
Hi Iamby,
Pure Justice is right try both. There's always GA meetings if you can get to them.
I hope everything goes alright for you as it seems to be doing for me. I do the 2015 Challenge on here which helps me a lot.
I've got a lot more peace in my life now.
Take Care.
Just a quick post to say best of luck.
You really have a great chance to sort things out and wish you luck.
I have just read your post and can relate to so much of what you have written, I too felt pressurised into going to see a options counsellor by my family after they helped bail me out (again) I felt so small in the waiting room, but I done it because I felt I owed them, you know what, it honestly was alright, honestly, I personally felt it just removed a bit more weight from my shoulders, give it a try if you feel able too. You have nothing to lose (excuse the pun) I really hope you get to where you need to be, sounds like you also have an amazing family around you.
My husband went to GA because i said our life together was over if he didnt go to GA meetings (and some other things), he went to keep me happy. He still goes, but its not for me anymore, he does it for him and he cant reallly explain how it worked but it did. He's turned himself into someone I really love and respect and he's still working on it and it makes us happier every day.
It doesnt matter who's idea it was, it will still work if you want it to. Part of the gamblers insanity is that you cant be told anything, so just let go of the idea that you have to initiate this and just do it. It will work if you work it.
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