my hubby and myself have been gambling on and off for years and lost more than we dare even to think about.we are what you might call a double bubble both as bad as each other.We have slipped so many times and now we have hit rock bottom emotionally and financially.We should have called ourselves the two losers cos thats what we are.We did attend GA about a year or so ago and did really well but then the guy that ran it had other commitments and could only run the meetings on rare occasions he was brilliant and kept us really focused and another gent took over.He was a lovely guy but mainly talked about his work and we felt didnt address the problem of gambling at all so we are looking to you guys for support because you understand this terrible addiction.Please can we turn to you all for help.We really need to do this now because it is making me especially very depressed and worthless.Our poison is slots at the bookies.Thanks in anticipation Jaynie x
Hi
You are in the right place and you will get plenty of help here from people who really know.
I know all abot slots in arcades and bookies and Ive seen it all. It took me 10 months after joing Gamcare to really do something effective about it. I couldnt do it will willpower alone
Do you have any blocks in place? I think you are both ready to stop now so walk in with pride and hand them the photo booth pictures. You dont have to look your best and you dont have to give them every detail but please go in and get that done.
Then it takes counselling and a visit to the doctor.
Slot machines are a mugs game. They always were and they always will be. You may well have been playing for escape and highs of the mind. I wont go on about that now. Its linked to depression and a boredom with life
Ive seen people bashing the machines in anger , Ive seen a guy waving £1000 in the air wailing that he was losing it all but he returned to feed more in, Ive seen a lady telling me she was now spending all her rent money in a deeply depressed tone... like a cry for help that she was powerless to stop. Ive seen them feed £600 in and cheer about getting £200 out. Ive seen the people saying you never win in here as they feed the coins in like zombies. Ive seen all the banter and lies to save face
Awful like an addicts den for delusional people with an illness of the mind . Im gamble free and will tell it as it is now and sound tough
I want you both out of that environment and hope you will continue to use the forum and act on the advice
Very best wishes
Thank you Joydivider for your frank but very true words of wisdom.We have experienced and seen all the things you mentioned in your post and we feel ready to quit because we dont want to be a part of it anymore.We appreciate your concern and we will try our best to stay gamble free jaynie x
gamblers r us wrote:
Thank you Joydivider for your frank but very true words of wisdom.We have experienced and seen all the things you mentioned in your post and we feel ready to quit because we dont want to be a part of it anymore.We appreciate your concern and we will try our best to stay gamble free jaynie x
Great. You will both be better people. It is like a seeing the light and a Phoenix moment. You have to do your level best to keep it that way.
I used to look at people in there like they were sad. Someone should have handed me a mirror because I probably looked the saddest one in there. I dont want any more of that horrible false environment.
Nobody looked truly happy and I dont want to see a particular woman sullenly reach into her handbag for another tenner or the ridiculous , hushed tone,banter with her husband when they were just losing more money. In many ways it took an addict to recognise an addict....I saw right through everything but I was still addicted to my own machine.
I dont want to see the sly edginess as they glance over at anyone suspected of doing better. Horrible false and destructive. Is anybody really friendly in there ? I always had the feeling that if a pot of money was thrown into the centre of the room, everyone would pounce on it in a frenzy
When I walked in to self exclude it was a great feeling. Gamblers who heard were actually talking to me and relieving their own tension. They knew its what they should do and I hope they will.
Im trying a new tack here to shake people away from the things I know they have seen.
There are better places for you to be and happier things to be doing.
I hope you will put the blocks on and do everything necessary to talk it through with people.
It can be done...some will need more cold turkey than others but people can stop when they really want to. I am never complacent but in my heart I really know Im free this time with blocks. If ever I see a machine I tell people with pride I am not to be near it.
My money is now mine and I enjoy it
I wish you all the best
HI too both of you .The best thing you can do now is support each other . DO this is a joint thing and it will be much easier.
Maybe you can both do something together that will take the place of the bookies ?, i think (correct me if im worng) that boredom is a big part of the issues here. It was the same as myself , and it has cost me so so much in life.
Try and contact the bank , only allow cash withdrawls on your cards and put a limit on them ? , The only good thing about this and i say good very lightly is that you are both in this together and you can both help each other ! .. please do so !
Read the stories here , the diaries and phone the helpline. LIfe gets so much better once that step has been taken not to gamble.
I wish you well in your recovery mr and mrs gamble free
Hey Joydivder the husband and wife you described in your post could be us! Its as if you are sitting there in the bookies with us! We are still feeling strong and determined to do this.Thanks to you too lostsoul999 we have taken your advice on board and our son will look after our finances even if it means being treated like kids.Taking one day at a time and feeling better already. Best Wishes to you both Jaynie x
gamblers r us wrote:
Hey Joydivder the husband and wife you described in your post could be us! Its as if you are sitting there in the bookies with us! We are still feeling strong and determined to do this.Thanks to you too lostsoul999 we have taken your advice on board and our son will look after our finances even if it means being treated like kids.Taking one day at a time and feeling better already. Best Wishes to you both Jaynie x
Thats great! I really want to help you.
I mentioned that because I knew it would strike a chord. For years Ive seen that all over the place. The hushed tones and the hopeless addictive behaviour. I was one of them
I promise you that its like being born again. Control of your finances is a superb step. Its got nothing to do with being treated like a baby. It means your money is your own and you can start planning proper things to do with it.
The pride of telling people and reaching out for help is immense. It has to be talked through but its not essentially your fault and it didnt make you bad people. They were selling us a drug that actually has little to do with the money in most cases. All I ever did was lose heavily overall becuase I was ignoring the real odds. I just needed the feeling of playing and it was destroying my life
Any twinges should immediately be countered with a losing money, mugs game, shameful feeling. Part of the process is enjoying money properly again and explaining what you would like to do with it so nice things can be bought.
Keep busy, keep active and find better things to be doing. There are plenty of things to fulfill your life
Eventually I started thinking about gambling less and less until it just seems silly and totally irrational behaviour. Clever people dont gamble and thats the way I like to think of it
Please keep using the forum, talking it over with your son and others. Talk about your feelings.
Best wishes
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