So last week came my judgement day. I did the inevitable and lost so much money it is going to take me years of work to make up for. I started my day with good money in my debit account and ended it almost £7000 in debt. The pain has been so tough to take that I haven't been able to go on sites like this. I have a family on the way and so much responsibility. I've now stopped and will stop until the day I die. This will be easy for me as I have only been gambling a month or so and don't feel an addiction. I was just reckless with money. Unfortunately I knew I had a problem weeks ago and I didn't get out when the going was good or at least protect myself better. I had a counsellor session yesterday but might stop these. The only way to get over my grief is to work my *** off and pay the debt as quickly as possible. I've planned that it's going to be two years. This is the harsh reality that gambling causes
Wish you well on your journey. However do not underestimate how difficult it will be... the fact you are on here and have taken additional steps are good but "this will be easy for me" is a risky thought process .. we all started somewhere and is good you have identified you need to stop early but do not under estimate the temptations that will be there. I wish you good luck on your quest.
Hi there ,
I'm not sure I'll be able to word this in a way you'll want to hear it but here goes . First off you say you've only gambled a month yet your other diary suggests over 3 months, again you say you don't feel addicted but you blew through 9 grand in one day. Another is you're stopping your counselling.
To me this is classic addict playing it down . You don't have to have played long to be an addict . I've been an addict a long time some 20 odd years and in that time I didn't come close to losing that money in one day. At my rate of play at worst it would of taken me almost a year to lose that amount. What I'm saying is don't play your addiction down because that's when it will hit you hard . Addiction thrives on the I don't have a problem attitude. Admitting you have a serious problem is the first step in the right direction.
Try not to put to much focus on the debt because it will overwhelm you . Pay it at an affordable pace . The journey to a stable financial life is a marathon not a sprint .
All the best for now
Having seen how my wife has struggled to deal with this news means that it can never be repeated.
I echo my previous comments that I wish you well ... I've seen the impact on loved ones and at the time was the worst feeling in the world but that pull of a win to sort everything out and give them a better life seemed to drag me back... glad you are confident of beating this and sure you will get through it..
Why do you think just stopping will be easy when you've demonstrated you have no control over the amount you've spent? There aren't any rules or time frames when it comes to addiction.
My advice would be to hand over your finances to your wife among the other standard barriers then book some counselling and look for your nearest GA meeting. You need to identify and address whatever it is that has driven this compulsion.
Echo above. You haven't got dragged into this accidentally. The problem isn't the financial losses, it's the compulsion to gamble. And a happy, balanced, well adjusted person doesn't need to gain whatever relief there may be in repeatedly giving in a compulsion.
Look for solutions in the right place, GA and or counselling.
CW
I also echo the above and I think setting a goal of stopping until the day "you die" is admirable but unrealistic. Why not set smaller goals? Today, this week etc.? If you don't stick to your plan, will you come here and be honest?
You're initial post on this thread seems to concentrate mostly on money you've lost and how to regain that cash by working your b**t off? As others have said I think you need to look at the issues that drove you into this situation and think beyond the money although of course any debt accumulated has to be paid back.
Best wishes, Phil.
I played to win money not because I was addicted. I had to experience first hand the heavy loss to learn that gambling is not the way to make money or short cuts in life. The counselling will just Harper on my mistake. I know myself well enough to feel confident that I will not return to gambling. You're right though it is more like 3 months of gambling not a month
Hi Player181406.
Welcome to the forum.
My best advice is dont play it down because you have experienced the addiction and lost all control.
You raise an interesting point about the length of time gambling but the addiction can start on day 1.
Gambling is not for you and you now need to realise that. Im afraid it will take more than just your willpower. We recommend that you are open and honest with people close to you. They will be a great help in controlling and monitoring your finances.
You must now block from that site or gambling den and all others like it. Others have given you great advice and you must work through why you started the day assuming it was an income scheme or luck was on your side. The money is relative but that is a heavy days losses and I cant shy away from mentioning that .
We have all been there and if I had access to more funds I would have gambled more away.
You will need to face it and of course family members will be shocked. However mark my words that dealing with it now is far better than secrets and relapses when you could do that time and time again. The worst thing about a gambling addiction is that it brushes aside the pain and urges you give it another go like its all going to come right next time.
It doesnt as I think you are aware. Its a born again moment you are searching for and you have to go all the way.
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
Heavy is an understatement. To think I had quite a prosperous life a week ago to years of debt to pay off has been really hard to take. I opened up to my close family because it was evident I was not sleeping for a few days and my wife was desperate to know what was wrong. I think they were just relieved that health wise I was ok and that the money can be earned back in time. I realise I continued to play because it was a secret and something I did by myself. I knew where this road was taking me and I did it anyway even when I had forewarning from several sessions of gambling. I will try to go to the counselling sessions
Player181406 wrote:
I played to win money not because I was addicted. I had to experience first hand the heavy loss to learn that gambling is not the way to make money or short cuts in life. The counselling will just Harper on my mistake. I know myself well enough to feel confident that I will not return to gambling. You're right though it is more like 3 months of gambling not a month
I don't buy that excuse at all! You are probably addicted and in denial.
I feel mine situation is different because although I lost a lot of money and I'm in disspear about it I have had little urge attempt to gamble to win it back. I think it's because I know it's just to great a mountain. I will attempt to learn about my self and understand how things escalated. Fact is, I can't gamble again because I can't play responsibly. And I can't put my family or myself in this position again..
You can call an addiction and I probably was for the time that I was playing. But I don't feel addicted now and I feel hurt because I have little money
And I would like to clarify that the money I have been given to cover the debt has not been used to get the losses back..
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