Help

Hi Maria,

I too was just like you. My family found out back in October and that is when life came crashing down for me.

Few tips I have learnt since then.

Sign up to Gamstop. Choose the maximum time frame. This should stop your online activity if this was your vice.

I also rang the helpline here....poured my heart out and accessed the free counselling Gamcare offered. I found it cathartic in a way.

I know all too well about financial mess! I was / am in huge debt due to my gambling and I have previously made choices that I am not proud of. However, there is light. I contacted StepChange a debt charity. They listened without judgement and with their help they set me up a debt management plan. I now pay one payment to them and they pay all the creditors. No more phone calls, interest frozen, no more letters etc. They are a recognised charity so the majority of creditors accept their payment offers. Such a weight lifted. Please phone them and get advice.

I don’t know what your family dynamics are but my partner after the initial anger has been amazing and shown true strength. I did think he would walk....how wrong was I.

Always here if you wanna chat. I’m not home free yet but I am over 100 days gamble free. It’s been a rocky road in some parts but what I can say is life is better gamble free.

The overwhelming stress that gambling causes us is profound but With help it does get a little easier each day.

Sarah

Hi Maria. ..and well done on coming right back here for support.....
You are not a disgusting person...
And your children will never be better off with out you in there life's. ...that's addiction talking...controlling you...i know everything seems unbearable ...I remember you telling me...that you had told a friend about your gambling....can you chat to that friend now.....tell them how low you're feeling......
Give the helpline a ring .....just talk to someone love....
X

Well what can I say I’m here all over again messed everything up thinking I could make it better Iv been awake all night thinking of my kids and family that are still unaware what a disgusting person I really am I really wish I could stop spending money that really does not belong to me I’m thinking i must be nearly at rock bottom because the horrible thoughts I’m having this time are scaring me that it would be so easy just slip away out of this world make it better place for everyone around me before I used to think I can’t do that to my kids but now I think it would be for the best and that bit is scary my whole life is a lie because of my own doing I really didn’t want to cause this much distraction iv tried everything to stop please someone out there tell me how I can fix this mess Iv created

Hi Maria. There is a solution to this problem and suicide is a permanent solution to what is a temporary problem. Everyone who is on here will have their own solution but the common thread is that it always involves stopping gambling. It’s obvious from your posts that you’re not a disgusting person and that you care deeply about your children and family so don’t beat yourself up. Draw a line under the money that is lost and stop the chase now. I wish you all the best x

Thank you for your reply I just can’t seem to get threw my thick head that I can’t get the money back Iv lost in my stupid head I think if I get the money back all my problems will be solved but deep down I no that it’s not answer so why do I risk it and keep trying and end up losing more this weekend Iv used my wage £1100 That was for the month now I need start lying to cover up again I feel like I’m going mad xxxx

Is there anyone who you can confide in? Is it online gambling that is the problem? I haven’t been to GA but I was referred to a counselor through this website and have found it massively helpful to speak to someone who themself has had problems with addiction and is completely non judgemental xx

Yes online gambling Iv never gambled in a bookies or arcade I’m going I wouldn’t mind up until I was 41 I’d never gambled in my life was very against it then I lent someone some money and they didn’t pay back so to cover that I tried to win money back to cover mine and my kids holiday now I’m 44 and I dread to think how much Iv lost I no it’s a lot because of all the payday loans and the money Iv borrowed by lying to people I just don’t know how to get out of the horrible circul I’m going round one lesson Iv learnt is never lend friends money xxxxxx

I would recommend that you self exclude yourself for 5 years by using gam stop. I have gambled for a long time but feel it became much more problematic after I had lent a “friend” a significant amount of money who then didn’t pay me back and I also feel that it has been chasing that loss that made things much worse. Maybe gambling would have been a problem for me anyway but that whole situation did not help one single bit so I completely sympathize with you there. You have to draw a line under it now Maria. Gambling will not get you out of this situation xxx

Hello Maria,

Thank you for sharing your story and experience here with us, you are taking a positve step by accessing the support of others here. It sounds like you have been struggling with this and have had thoughts which have been concerning for you, we would encourage you to contact our helpline if you are ever feeling at risk of harm or have thoughts of suicide. We are here to provide support and information on services you can access.

• Freephone: 0808 8020 133

We are here to help, we have counselling services you can access, and advisors you can speak with.

Take care

Warm Regard

Maria

Forum Admin Team

Thank you for your message it’s really hard at moment to ring you because it’s school holidays and there is always someone around

Well day two I managed to get up and go to work which was very hard I still can’t believe Iv blown my full monthly wage gambling I feel totally disgusted with myself it’s school holidays and I can’t do anything with my kids but looking at them is making me feel more determined to beat this gambling on the positive side iv got up and not had a cig I can’t justify buying a packet of cigs when I can’t afford to treat my kids so I’m feeling determined xxxx

Hey Maria,

I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling so down. I too have been in your situation and relate so much. The truth is your children don’t care about the money. Take your children to the park, a walk or even just sit on the floor and play a game with them. Things will get better with every day you don’t gamble I promise. Have you accessed the free counselling service? I found been able to let everything out without judgement was key for me.

Take care,

Sarah