Hi - I'm Michelle and have decided that its time to take back some control over the madness that I have been experiecing for the last 6 months - I am addicted to online slots 🙁 There! I've admitted it to people even if I am too ashamed to tell my partner or close friends and family. I want to get to grips with this so as I dont have to tell them. Having read through a lot of posts I can identify with just about everything that is said.
My LAST gamble was an hour ago and I lost another £200 - I tried to deposit more as I was so sure that I could win it all back. The site kept throwing up error messages everytime I tried to deposit. Stupid more originally thought that they were being nice and had blocked any more deposits - especially as I lost £200 yesterday as well - haha. I then checked my bank and its empty! I cant deposit because I have reached rock bottom - no more money left. Why does that suprise me so? I have put in £200 - £400 every day for the last ten days in some sort of slot frenzy - what the hell is the matter with me?
I know that we come from all walks of life and gambling is not choosy as to who we are or what we do - but I am an intelligent, mature, professional woman who runs her own business and I'm sucked in by stupid slot machines!!!!
I suppose it could be worse - there is still £1200 waiting to withdraw and transfer back to my bank but that is a very small amount compared to what I have thrown away in the last few weeks. I want to block myself from the site but I think I have to wait until the transfer goes across first.
This is my wake up call - I have a gambling problem, I have lost most of my savings, I feel pretty depressed and disgusted with myself, ashamed, self destructive, guilt ridden (its not just my money, its my partners too!) - I really could just stand out in the garden right now and howl at the moon. My poor partner works all the hours possible to provide for us and with a few clicks and a few spins of the reels I lose all that he earns all day.
I will keep writing on here, reading your inspirational stories and try to get the 'better' me back.
Hi Michelle
Your story rings home with me. I to have not told my family about my addiction and also own my own business. So I have been able to hide my loses or explain them away as a vat bill etc. My main problem is with roulette machines. I am about £1500 this week, but this is my last loss ever I am no longer going to waste my money and future. The week end is the easy when I am at home with the family. Don't get me wrong I have upstairs in my office pretending to paper work doing £0000s online but that's quite rare as I then change my limit to £20 a week thinking that I will just have a small football bet each week. It's in the morning when I am driving round do deliveries to places next to or on the same street as bookies with pockets full of cash when I think I will pop in and have £20.
I have not gambled since Thursday when I had my last big loss. That's 2 days clean. I think writing on this site will help as there is no one else I can tell I must be £20,000 down this year. The things I could do with money makes me hate myself and I don't want my family to hate me to. Good luck to us all
Hi Michelle,
This is the right place to help you give up those dreaded slots forever. It is impossible to limit the time and money you spend on them.
Take care,
Suzy
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