Hi there I'm new today so want people's advice

Just to say hi and want you to know someone is thinking of you. I know at this moment in time things sound really difficult for you. I'm not much good with advice but if you read many of the posts on here people say you have to stop completely to have any chance of beating this addiction.
Stay strong, you've come on here because you want your life to change. Take the advice given on this site. Ask about the counselling etc. Then you will be closer to making those changes which will give you such a better quality of life. You deserve more. Take all the help offered to you to enable you to get it.

Hello Jake

Welcome to the forum.

Think the problem with trying to still have a small bet is that you are trying to control something that historically you cannot control. You might control it for a week or two but but if you're in a bookies or on a website you will be bombarded with betting opportunities on all manner of football, racing, virtuals and roulette - all of which you are having problems with.

I've gambled for over ten years and many times tried to gamble responsibly because I enjoy gambling but just cannot do it. The stakes always go up and the chasing starts.

GamCare offer free counselling. Might be worth giving it another try with a different counsellor.

Gambling is a progressive addiction for most, so you will need to make changes or the problem is likely to get worse. Making it difficult to gamble with barriers like blocking software, self-exclusion or handing over financial control might help take away the temptation to gamble while allowing you to still enjoy watching sport.

There is a thread in the 'overcoming problem gambling' part of the forum titled 'Am I playing with fire??' which you might find of interest as it has different people's perspective on a similar subject.

Read around the forum, there's a lot of advice and support here always available whenever you need it.

Best wishes

Glint

Hi there Jake and welcome to the forum .

Honestly Jake and in my opinion , I think once our compulsion to gamble is that strong that it brings us here , then we can't pretend to have any control left as if we did we wouldn't be in the mess we are .

I've had many conversations over the last 11 months on this subject and almost all people soon realise that they simply can't continue to gamble at all , even the odd bet or just for a small stake , I've tried the cuuting down approach or limiting my stakes but given time it just goes straight back to how it always was and usually ends up much worse .

I've not had a bet since I came here over 11 months ago and to be honest but again this is just my opinion , the things that I found most helpfull were the one day at a time approach ( especially in the early stages ) by trying not to look to far ahead or at the bigger picture , I was far more able to deal with problems as they arose ( in bite size chunks ) instead of letting it get to me and risk running back to my place of safety ( bookies ) when the s**t hit the fan !.

The second thing I found that allowed me to move forward was to let go of the past losses , were not bad people we just made a wrong turn here and there and if you can forgive yourself and accept that the money you and I lost has gone for good , well , if you let it go you don't feel the need to chase it anymore and that one act will give you so much peace within :)).

Most of my losses were on the bookies Fobt machines but when in there I'd back dogs , horses and virtual and if I won money on any of them , it would just be ammunition to gamble again plus my own money was always on top of the original losses .

I can now watch racing on tv , I don't very often but now it's about the spectacle and enjoyment rather than worrying about how much I had on it .

Life changes my friend and some of thiose changes come pretty quickly while others will take time but if you put just a small percentage of the effort you used to put into gambling into stopping you'll see soon enough for yourself :))

Great words from Glint above and councilling and barriers all work , combine those with a bit of deep down determination and willpower and you'll be fine , just remember the little steps and one day at a time !>

Speak to you soon .........................Alan

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Hi

I had a relationship with my financee for 16 years and he announced before xmas that he had gambled for the second time.

On his first attempt in the relationship (which was after we got engaged) he stated that this was only a couple of thousand of pounds on roulette wheel within betting shops, which I was very upset about and gave him an ultimatium. However from speaking to family members and looking at the amount he was paying on a monthly basis this amounted to £30k which my ex had to remortgage for this amount, which I was unaware at the time.

The second attempt has been since we arrived back from a trip in Las Vegas where he spent £1.5k on gambling and did not win anything.

When we were in Las Vegas a couple of days before the end of the trip he was very depressed and was silent which I had an argument with him as he made me cry. I stated to him how he states he does not spend anytime with me and when he does he goes a sleep in the theatre. He cried and stated how he could not lose me.

On returning from Las Vegas we were then looking at houses as I was in the process of selling my property and he was going to sell his (however he seemed to not want to sell for 8 years and he is still holding the property now joint with his mother).

I started to make offers for properties and spoke to the bank to obtain the additional mortgage.He was agreeing to move in with me, however at this point one of the offers were refused so we had to go back to the drawing board and then I stated to him that I was not going to take the risk with the mortgage as I would have to wait until he sold his property for the additonal funding with that he stopped communicating to me and I had to go round to his house to obtain an explanation.

This is when he announced that he had gambled for the second time and it was around £5k (through pay day loans) and the trust in the relationship has gone. However he told his mother that the relationship had changed and that I was not spending enouth intimate time with him and he wanted a family.

2 weeks from speaking with him he was seen driving aroung with a new girl who looked like myself and is planning to get a flat share with.

I am so confused by his behaviour as I asked him if there was another woman and he replied no and he also stated to me that he was now going to work abroad for 12 months?

Has anyone else experienced unusual behaviours?. Intially in the relationship he did say to me that he had a darkside which must mean that this has now been revealed?

Hi Like me I go in occssionaly thinking I will have £20 and end up putting in my entire money which I have on me, Like today I said I will have 20 and ended putting in 150 and then went home putting in a further 80.it is madness we need to take control and stop them having our cash spend on anything else but gambling i know it is difficult.