Hi,
i dont even know how i am meant to start on this.. alls i know is i am at the lowest of the low right now and i think its time to admit to my problem.
Im 26 and it all started probably when i was around 18 i come across a link for a bingo site and decdied to give it a go, i loved the buzz i got and slowly got hooked. Using my mums credit card to deposit money because the concequences really wasnt worth thinking about.. Once she discovered what id done i decided to stay clear. I carried on with my life for around 4 years working abroad, having a good social life and being in a long term relationship untill my OH now ex decided to go work on the rigs,at the same time this was going on Id just come into alot of inherritance.
My poor nan god bless her is probably turning in her grave.. my ex used to be offshore for around 12 weeks at a time i got lonely, my friends had all settled and work wasnt going particually great i got signed off from the doctors for months and never returned to said job. Any ways to cut it short i gambled the best part of 15k on slots on online gaming.
I honestly never thought i would get found out but i was in denial i split up with my boyfriend it just wasnt working my depression was tearing us apart and i dont think he could cope with the constant accusations i threw at him. So i had to give up the place i was living in i had to feed my dad some c**P basically saying all my money was tied up so he said he would loan what i needed to get me back on my feet but i would have to pay him back soonish. I agreed even though deep down i knew i couldnt pay it.. they found out it had all gone but i didnt confess to gambling i blamed my ex and said he had encouraged me to spend it (even though i had nothing to show for it).
That was that.. but here i am 2 years on and the gambling has never really stopped every wage packet goes straight to these idiots online. The credit card situation with my parents happened again racking up probably 600 pound.. this has happend twice in the last year so safe to say they now know i have a problem my dad takes my bank card off me when i get paid and takes out as much as he can in one go but obviously there is a limit and i always find a way around it as i know my card details.. the amount of times he has come home screaming at me because he has gone to get more out and there is nothing left in there.
Anyways the icing on the cake was this weekend, mum and dad are on holiday i got paid friday and obviously dad had no option to leave me my bank card, first thing i did friday morning was gamble only 20 but its not the point, i went out with friends come home and again gambled this time 200.. went out again in the evening.. first thing i did saturday was gamble. basically my whole wages have gone and 300 of that was supposed to go to my dad for rent. They are going to kill me. i have no money to live on now for a week luckily i have food or i would be completly screwed up.. i dont know what to do last night i cried so hard i had so many dark thoughts going through my head suicide really seems like a good option right now.
ive just woke up and its 4pm because reality is too much to bare right now, ive been sick because of the pure disgust i feel for myself i really am at rock bottom and im scared..
Hi, thanks for sharing your story. I think we can all relate to at least part of it. I think you need to contact Gamcare in the first instance, especially if you are feeling very low. There is lots of great support on here but I think you could do with some professional advice.
Thank you for replying DeLorean..
I think your right i do need to contact them but i am so scared, just admitting my problem on here had me in tears reading it back to yourself in black and white really does make you feel terrible 🙁
just hope i can get through this..
Hi everyone, just joined here, hoping I can get gamblers like myself to lean on. My husband bless him is just too soft with me and seeing as the whole household uses the net, he won't get rid of it 🙁 HAve just closed down my last gambling account after spending my last £40 that was in my bank and thought now is time to start a fresh. I say this every day but boredom hits me right in the face every time. I've tried hypnosis, even sleep with it going on but no joy on that one. I spend more than I get back as I'm sure everyone one is the same on that one. Well, FRiday is payday and I am determined not to spend a bloody penny of it on slots or bingo. I have to do something, I've even hit credit cards to fund this c**P, that's how I know it's getting bad, really bad. I did stop for a while and it was great, I had money to save every week, the bills and debts were going down then BAM, just a tickle I thought, well that's lasted how many years now. I will not win anywhere as much I put on and that's what I have to remind myself. Well, here goes to a new start, fingers crossed, want my debts cleared up within the next few years so time to start now 🙂
Oh I am sorry, I didn't even know I was replying to a thread, can tell I'm new hehe
Hi lost soul, I have just read your story and I can so relate big time. Remember, there is always light at the end of any addiction, I know that word sucks but it's the truth. Getting someone to help you is hard also I know. I downloaded some free soft wear on my laptop once to block gambling and it was bliss, missed it at first but then was really glad when I went to my bank every week to see money in there. The suicide thoughts go through my head at times too, my kids and husband would be financially better off but who would be the biggest looser then?! Close down every account that you have online, request a new bank card, give it back to your dad and that will be a great start. I have just closed mine down so just waiting for payday and a new card will be requested. I will give my card to my mum this time lol, don't need cash on a daily basis.
Hi chezza82,
thanks for replying and sharing your story.. its such a viscous circle isnt it? the highs and lows the addiction makes you feel is unreal.
I only ever use my phone to gamble, as that way no one can trace what ive been on ive self excluded my self from so many sites but always end up finding something else to go on.. I dont even know why i do it? i dont think i even enjoy it, its just a habit i cant kick.
i really hope you can overcome your issues it sounds like you have a really good attitude to it which is always a start.
good luck xxx
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