I'm so glad I found this website...I'm a normal 33 year old guy, in a happy relationship (civil partnership) with a decent job. I'm addicted to gambling and want it to stop but really don't know what to do. In the last 3 years I've started online gambling, first a little bit at a time then more and more and more and now I've racked up £9,000 on my credit card and am unable to pay it off...Over this last year I've said many times "enough, not anymore" but the temptation seems too much and I give in, I feel such a weakling for it. I don't know what to do...
Today was the breaking point for me, I have to make a payment on my CC but because I'm in my overdraft am unable to make that payment. The bank is calling me but I'm too scared to pick up, I don't know what to do. I feel like a silly little boy, sticking my head in the sand thinking it will all go away. It won't. I haven't told my SO and am too scared to tell him, I feel guilty about this addiction. I've just closed my online accounts (at least for those where I can) but am afraid that when I get the urge I won't be able to resist.
Maybe I should go and see my GP, or first go and talk to my bank manager tomorrow to see if I can get a personal loan to pay of the credit card. I don't know. I'm lost...I've been having scary thoughts about ending it but then the thought of the hurt that would do to my mum and family makes it dissapear but I'm scared. I'm lost...and don't know what to do. Maybe give Gamcare a call tomorrow and speak to Stepchange. I need help. I want it to stop.
Hi, I'm glad you've made your way here. You have come to the right place. There's a load of help and support available here for you. We all know the feelings you are going through and realising you can't go on long this anymore. Why not contact Gamcare now? They are open till midnight either on the phone or online. The situation might seem too much at the moment but it is nothing that can't be solved if you really want to. Contact Gamcare, contact Step Change, contact the Samaritans if you really feel desperate.
Hi,
Well done for taking the first scary steps. Life can be good again and it takes effort but it's is worth the effort.
If you really want to stop, then there are a few practical things you can do. Make a plan as to how and when to do them. You'll need help and support so call GamCare and also find a GA meeting, speak to your GP, sort out whether counselling or GA or both work for you. Read the stories on this site, you're not alone.
You can't rely on will power, so you need to install blocking software and self exclude from bookies and websites.
The biggie is the money. If your salary goes into your account and you have uncontrolled access to it, or you have access to loans or credit, no good will come of it. For this to really have the best chance, someone else has to manage your money.
That leads to the next hurdle, your SO. I'm long term married with family who are no longer babies. I found out the hard way that my husband is a CG. For me, the worst thing to get over is the lies and that he didn't have the guts to tell me, so at the moment I find it hard to respect him. The Greek debt that he's wasted is frustrating but he was living the lie for most of our marriage, he never told me or asked for my help and that's what hurts the most. It's your call as to whether or when to tell your SO but sooner or later he is going to find out and the best person to tell him is you. If you've self excluded and organised help and you'll willing to hand over complete details of your finances, then there's something for him to hold on to. He'll also need help from GamCare.
Stick with it and don't let setbacks stop you.
Best wishes, keep posting.
CW
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