Hello my name is Liz, I dont know where to start, i have not told anyone about my problem. I lie and hide my addction and have often left myself and family with no money for food or to pay bills. I ignore my children cos im playing on the slots online. Im missing out their life because im selfish and cant get away from the slots. I play for hours and hours sometimes up to 12 hours a day. Iv lost everything all my money because i cant walk away. Any winnings i have it all goes back in. Im in a mess fincially but havant got the guts to tell anyone about my problem. I havant even got the guts to phone the helpline, the thought of actually saying the words out loud kills me. I lost 1000 pound last night all my money i lent to try and get me out of trouble. Iv tried to give up before and went 6 days without it but then for some reason i went back and lost all my student loan money and now i have nothing. I just want this to be over with i dont want to feel like this anymore, i had enough.
Hi
Liz
Where to start is often the most troublesome question addicts find themselves asking. Your problem seems so overwhelming that it seems impossible to even begin to fix it. But you can! Now heres the bad news! To stop your cycle of addiction changes have to be made. Recovery cannot begin without honesty both with ourselves & others. In order to be a compulsive gambler you also need to be a compulsive liar. First step is coming clean to those who have also suffered @ the hands of your addi tion. Scary i know! But their reaction will not be as bad as you have built ut up to be in your head. After the initial anger they will want to support you, they love you & you are really going to need their help.
More practical things you can also do.
Self exclude
Blocking software for your devices K9 is free
Hand over your finances to some one you trust
Attend GA
Thank you day@atime, I down loaded K9 and its in use. I am going to try and find a GA meeting so i can start on the journey of recovery.
Hello Liz - how you getting on? I'm new here and have a similar story - the thought of telling anyone is just too much. I think,I would rather run away. I'm hoping I can find strength and support here. The life of a CG is lonely. The guilt is unbearable. I wish you a succesful recovery x
Will do Liz - my name is Barb. I've just got out of bed on a Sunday at 5pm ! Been reading all these stories on here and trying to find the willpower to carry on and smile. Although I feel wretched, it made me smile to know that you are doing so well 🙂 keep it up. A small chink in the tunnel. Yes, our families deserve much better. I did about six weeks once ( I was in love and giddy and occupied) when the relationship faltered and ended I was straight back on the slots. My escapism and my ' high' ( of course it's just an expensive route to a low) my daughter is due home soon and so I will try and not be the distant, moody, absent mother. I have written a novel and had interest from an agent. That was last year and yet even with that carrot dangling I still prefer to waste my time and money and life on the slots. I'm going to try and edit my novel for the next few weeks. Inbetween working two jobs to pay the debts. Who knows it may be my salvation. I don't want to feel like this anymore. I just want to be a normal functioning member of society. Stay strong and we'll crack this together 🙂
liz
keep strong, remember the pain you are in from gambling do not remember the money you have lost its gone.
keep waking up and keep saying today i will not gamble, well done for sorting the computer out big step,
i cant help think maybe you need to tell someone just one person , we all need a shoulder when things get tough,its a long road, and things will get tough , things will knock yiou for six, but put up some barriers, let someone help with your finances, your have the computer blocker 1 barrier, build some more, that way when it comes knocking you have a strong barrier to send it away,
the pain from gambling and lying is painfull remember this and never want to feel it again.
keep posting keep letting it out on here, good luck liz, you can beat this
Hello Liz - how are you? Hope you're ok and that you're still G free x
Thank you Dan, I have finally confessed to my sister, she is so suportive and is going to help me out of this dark time. I just cant believe i have told someone. For years keeping it to my self and now i feel like its going to be ok. I am 15 days without a game, i still think about it, but im feeling so much happier in my self.
Barb, how are you doing? thanks for checking in on me, I hope your going strong as well. I am feeling so optmiostic right now, im so happy that my sister did not think anything less of me for telling her. I forgot that family is there no matter what. Still a long way to go but one day at a time. I dont want to feel alone anymore.
Thanks
Hi Liz,
I too know your pain and wanted to contribute to all the good will and support here - i completely understand how you feel not wanting to tell any one - today i called the gamcare hotline and talked (and cried) for an hour and a half. It's the first time in 10 years i've ever admitted to anyone that i'm a compulsive gambler and it hurt like hell to even say the words.
BUT - they gave me the chance to talk openly and non judgementally about what we're all going through and 1000's are besides us - they gave me the courage to call a counselling service too. I didnt want to do it and called/hung up 3 times but like all of us i've taken one positive step towards recovery. If nothing else just call the line and talk - knowing that you're not alone will help give you strength to carry on.
Much love and support
Bean
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