I feel like nothing

Hi Jamoo

People here will give you advice, but I am not sure we will all say nice things. You were here a while back with the same problems, but your concern seems to be about winning at gambling, you mention that your girlfriend is winning while you are not. This site is for people trying to quit gambling not for those complaining about being on a losing streak.

If you have a gambling problem, why are you and your girlfriend gambling together, it is madness. You have explained that gambling addiction has made you feel worthless and virtually unemployable, meaning you are broke. It has given you nothing positive in life.

If you do not change your attitude to gambling then your life will never improve. I do not entirely agree with you that we are weak and being manipulated by gambling companies, but if you feel that way then put the financial blocks in place to better protect yourself.

The advice is all here if you want it, but I think you still want the gambling more at the moment.

Onepunch. I’ve been reading your posts and stories tonight so I will respond as politely as I can.

We are categorically strong the second we decide to stop gambling. We are the winners when we stop gambling!

Have you ever heard of a heroin addict ‘control’ their addiction but carry on living their lives at the same level of health or wealth? I never have so if you do, I’d like to meet them.

Reality is it is the same mind control addiction for gambling as it is for alcohol, drugs; crack, C*****e, heroin, whatever you fancy.

Your relationship with gambling is evidently unhealthy and without getting personal, I would suggest your relationship with your girlfriend is also unhealthy. You can’t rely on someone else to support you financially through life.. or the government. You create dependency on that person. What happens if she leaves you? Where will you get your money from to gamble?

This may seem a bit of tough love but plenty of people on here have said, this site is for people changing their lives. Quitting gambling and moving on to the next, better chapter. Please don’t glorify your gambling behaviour on here and make it out to be ‘manageable or controlable’. It’s like turning up to an AA meeting with a bottle of vodka.

We are here for you and we will help you. The classic saying is, you can lead a horse to water... you get it.

I really think you need to reach out and get some professional help, call GamCare and speak to someone. GamChat? 121 Counselling on the phone? There are plenty of ways you can get support for free.

I hope you do reach out.

Sjr

Nothing to do with the gambling companies. Everything to do with whether you're prepared to follow the very many posts giving you excellent advice people have taken the time to make today and in the past.

You can stop this right now. Today. But you need to want to.

We are not weak! The moment we make the decsion to put blocks in place, Gamstop etc. we are practicing being strong. It doesn't happen over night, we know that, and sometimes we are going to struggle but it won't stop us keep trying. You could join us, get the support that is so invaluable on here, but you've got to want to.

My girlfriend is a grown woman who makes her own decisions and can afford to gamble and has the sense the to walk away. I told her I don't like how she's gambling more because of me but she just tells me she can afford to because she has responsibilities and stuff and wouldn't spend more than she can afford. When she's gambling and winning I can't help but ask for some money so I too can gamble, I'm sure if you were all watching someone gambling and winning you'd want a try.

I think I need mental help to be honest, I'm deluded and my perception of money and work is not normal, I went to the doctor and they sent me here, I don't want to talk about my s**t to be honest, I want to just take a pill or something and have my urges dissapper. It probably doesn't seem like I've tried but I've tried so hard to stop but I'm just not able to.. I want to stop, I do but there's too much temptation around me and it's too much of a habbit.
You're all probably comfortable talking with people but I'm not a huge fan of people and I don't want to talk to a stranger on the phone because talking about it like I do in here will just give me the same result, advice and encouragement and I know that won't stop me..
I'm sure loads of people that have stopped never thought they would, but I really don't think I can.

Hi Onepunch,

You say" you feel like you've had enough but you know you won't stop". It basically means you still have a long way to go before you feel enough is enough to want to stop. With your g/f gambling you feel justified in carrying on yourself. If your g/f was set against gambling you would then have to change your attitude and want to stop. But, if you think you won't stop why come on here? Go to your nearest GA meeting and listen to the stories amongst the members there. They will give you support and encouragement to help deal with this disease and you can then put steps into place to help you change. It is one step at a time, one day at a time. Ultimately though you have to want to stop.

chris

Sound like the issues go beyond gambling, here are two people in a relationship and both engaged in a destructive activity that encourages escape, isolation and unavailability. Many people on the forum think that it’s about money or being able to afford it but the reality is that it’s about using, not whether you win. Sounds like you’re both addicted and you’re both using.

You’re both adults and your lives depend on the choices you make. But why is your life dependent on her choices? That’s the road to chaos.

Change starts with you, it’s doable with the right help. Echo advice to try GA, but it boils down to your choices and actions. GamStop or reasons not to? GA or reasons not to?

CW

Onepunchjamoo wrote: My girlfriend is a grown woman who makes her own decisions and can afford to gamble and has the sense the to walk away. I told her I don't like how she's gambling more because of me but she just tells me she can afford to because she has responsibilities and stuff and wouldn't spend more than she can afford. When she's gambling and winning I can't help but ask for some money so I too can gamble, I'm sure if you were all watching someone gambling and winning you'd want a try. I think I need mental help to be honest, I'm deluded and my perception of money and work is not normal, I went to the doctor and they sent me here, I don't want to talk about my s**t to be honest, I want to just take a pill or something and have my urges dissapper. It probably doesn't seem like I've tried but I've tried so hard to stop but I'm just not able to.. I want to stop, I do but there's too much temptation around me and it's too much of a habbit. You're all probably comfortable talking with people but I'm not a huge fan of people and I don't want to talk to a stranger on the phone because talking about it like I do in here will just give me the same result, advice and encouragement and I know that won't stop me.. I'm sure loads of people that have stopped never thought they would, but I really don't think I can.

I’d just like to make a point that your first comment about your girlfriend being a strong, independent woman that makes her own decisions,we share this in common.

What we also share in common is how our gambling introduction started, my boyfriend at the time dabbled in the bookies and I joined him on the occasion, gambling myself. At the time it was nothing, because like your girlfriend, I’m working and earning my own money. I walked away when I knew enough was enough. I don’t think I had even walked into a bookies prior to me meeting him. I’m not saying he is the reason to blame, at all. I’m also not saying you’re the reason to blame either. I can tell you through my own experience is that it is by far too destructive on both of you. Even if it seems like nothing. Please be careful and change your behaviour and habits now before it is too late for her.

If you care about her, tell her to stay away and quit while she’s ahead.

You’ve got to drink first to BECOME and alcoholic, right? So you have got to gamble first before you become addicted to it. As a couple, you shouldn’t be equally contributing to this dangerous habit and addiction.

You yourself know you have a problem with gambling, it’s because you can’t stop, can’t walk away and can’t take losing. Her winning streak will end, trust me.

If you don’t like talking to people then at least try to educate yourself on gambling and money. Read books or blogs, podcasts. I can personally recommend Alan Carr’s book (not the comedian) and to see the value in money, it helped me to take it back to basics and I’m reading The Money Chimp by Andrew Priestley. Just give this a try, it’s nothing you won’t spend on gambling anyway, both time and money.

For the record, so long as you’re posting on here; every excuse you can try to make there will always be someone giving you a reason why you should stop. Give up gambling and start believing you can!

Sjr