ive let so many people down, I don't know what to do.
Hello Joe,
Welcome to the forum. Im not sure what you've done or where you are from your post but we've all felt the way you are feeling. There are things you can do and there is help, are you ready to ask for that?
Get yourself over and have a read of Mixers board, it covers a lot of the things you might be questioning in the early part of this addiction.
https://www.gamcare.org.uk/forum/want-do-something-read
Post here and people will help and support you. Advice will be given, take it on board and you can turn this around.
All the best.
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