I have no idea what to do

Hey Andy,k I'm so sorry to hear you're having such a hard time.

I'm sure an Admin wil post soon to give you all details of the help you can get via GamCare, like counselling. You need to speak to someone about this.

Have you also registered with GamStop. This will block you from gambling/playing onlune and will be a huge help.

I know how you feel, it is so tough, but please hang in there. There are some soultions you can apply so you can breathe better.

Gonna do GameStop tonight when I get home, does it show up as an icon on your phone?

What do you mean? It's very easy to do!

Hi Andy,

You certainly are a compulsive gambler, you should look up your nearest GA meeting and start attending. You have a problem and you need to be on the road to recovery, but while gambling you cant even begin. All of your troubles can be sorted, not instantly of course but with plenty of hard work an support you can tackle this and live a happy life.

You can contact step change for advice regarding your debt, they can help at least make sense of it so you are not mentally in turmoil over it as it will only help send you back gambling. One of the key components to recovery is honesty so you will have to come clean to your parnter and family if possible. Living a lie also helps feed this addiction.

First you need to put up some barriers to prevent you from gambling, gamstop is a site where you register and it will self exclude you from all gambling sites.

I know none of this is easy, and although you have lost money you need to let that go and stop chasing. Get to your nearest GA meeting and get everything off your chest. You can do this.

Andys147 wrote:

Gonna do GameStop tonight when I get home, does it show up as an icon on your phone?

Hi Andys

Make sure you search for Gamstop rather than Gamestop as they are entirely different things.

It is an online register that you sign up for (for 6 months, a year or 5 years) which should then prevent you from registering or logging onto any UK reistered online casinos. There will be no icon on your phone or any other sign that you have registered for it.

If you are serious about giving up on-line gambling you must do this. It is a one-way ticket, you cannot ask to be unregistered until the end of the period you asked to sign up for. If you sit there asking yourself if you really want to sign up (like I did) you need to ask yourself some pretty hard questions about how serious you are about giving up.

Good luck

Muststop123

Hi Andys

Sorry if that last post came across a bit direct and lacking in empathy. I just re-read it in the context of your original post.

Most of us have been in a version of your current state where we just do not know which way to turn. We loathe ourselves for what we have done and can't see any way out.

Jo-90 has already given you great advice and there is plenty more on this site or available via the helplines so I won't repeat.

What I would like to say is whilst you must 100% take responsibility for what you have done and do everything to recover the situation to the best of your ability, try to forgive yourself. Hating yourself and beating yourself continously is not going to help you recover and neither is it going to make things any better for your family, girlfriend or son. Look forward and make better decisions and actions from today onwards is the only thing anyone can ask of you.

Again, good luck, and keep posting.

Hello Andys147,

Well done for joining the forum and posting here.

You've already received some helpful suggestions from your peers. I'd also encourage you to call us on our freephone 0808 8020 133, we are on the helpline and netline everyday 8am to midnight, and we can give you details of free local support near your area.

Some of our forum users have posted positive feedback about using free professional debt advice services like the National Debtline 0808 808 4000, StepChange 0800 138 1111 or PayPlan 0800 280 2816.

Another source of support for you could be your GP, as you mentioned that you've "thought about killing myself about 2 times a day for the last month".

Well done for communicating about your experience and please do continue to use support.

Kind regards,
Ed
Forum Admin.

Thanks for the replies, still haven't plucked up any courage to tell anyone anything, I've seen my dad's reactions before and i can't deal with it, any non gambler would be like if you new what it was like why have you done it and that's what I'm questioning now I'm in this situation, meant to be out for a meal tonight with my gf and I got 30 quid to last for over a week and a half, but I'm gonna go purely so she don't think anythings wrong, dunno what to do after that, step change are ringing me tomorow, but it don't solve any family issues what so ever, thinking about just running away to be honest and declaring myself bankrupt, haven't gambled, purely because I have nothing left, if I had spare I prob would of slipped up somewhere in the past 3 days

I am a degenerate gambler but here's my advice;

Write down everything and let your dad know, it is probably easier to do this by email / letter at first if you want to avoid seeing his devastation and/or anger. Then meet him when he has cooled down and discuss it man to man.

All that debt you have can be sorted in the long run.

You need to set up a new current account which has no card attached to it and get your salary in there.

Email all the loan sharks and tell them your situation - and get in touch with stepchange. Do this after you have got a new clean account for your wages.

Put your dad in control of this account and get him to fund you what you need to survive week to week- if he is willing.

You want to protect your girlfriend, just like me. So to avoid a drastic outcome you should at least confess some of your issues - at least tell her you gamble and have lost some money; she deserves to know that at the very least. Save the real damage until you have put the steps in place to sort it out.

If you stop gambling from today your financial issues could be sorted in 12-24 months

The most important thing is to STOP.

Ensure next weeks wages or the monthly wages do not hit your account and are not accessible to you. This is crucial.

After you arrest this situation- see a counsellor to work through the mental stuff- why you gamble....triggers etc.

It's all doable once you never ever gamble again.

Good luck

Hi Andy’s sorry to read your story- been there got the t shirt! Two things - you’re only route to success / self respect etc is to stop gambling and the guys on here have given you advice / gamblock etc! The other advice is to speak to the stepchange charity to see what they can do about the debts / this will help you’re mindset if you can see a way forward for the debt. Keep posting and day by day the mist will hopefully clear.

My girlfriend knows my issues as a gambler but I've deceived everyone by having control of everything, and messed my life up, my girlfriend will want to see everything and I'm on my last chance anyways so I've pretty much lost her, my dad said I'm out if I do it again, say if I owe 150 pound a month to about 6 different companies, how much can they realistically take it down too? I suppose maybe stepchwnge may advise me tomorow x

If she does leave you- the best way to win her back is to go clean and show her by becoming a healthier, happier, person.

And if you guys aren't able to rebuild the trust in your relationship at least you will be a great position for any future relationship

Andy you focus is on this debt and the fear of telling your gf and Dad, its all negative thinking. To really tackle the issue you have to be willing to change. You have said you would do this before and have not really done anything to address the issue so understandably these people would feel upset and let down. But why would they believe you are going to change now? Are you attending GA meetings? are you willing to hand over full financial control to your gf? Are you going to treat you gf with some respect?

I know it sounds harsh but we need to face up to this to really tackle it, we are used to hiding, lying and running away. Those are the typical traits of a compulsive gambler. In my opinion unless you come clean to your gf and Dad you will not beat this, I understand the consequences may not be good but at least your starting to face up to the issue. At the moment you are trying to sort out the debt only, but your debt has been sorted before by your parents and those bail outs mearly freed you up to go back gambling.

Im not saying this from some privlidged position, I literally was in your boat over a year ago. If I had access to money I would have kept gambling. I had to hit rock bottom before seeking help. If I were you now, I would go to my nearest GA meeting, make it part of your weekly routine, seek advice and get everything off your chest but crucially be honest. No matter how stupid you think it sounds just be honest. The lies we tell ourselves and others just feed this addiction.

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