I’m out of control, need help!

Tom,

There's a way out of this mess!

You've taken the first step by being here, so well done for that. I'm a compulsive gambler with similar patterns to yours but for about 20 years!  This year i decided to stop.

It's tough and there are low points, but i'm 125 days in gamble free. I won;t type much now and advise you to have a look around the site, but 4 top tips that i've learnt:

1. The money is gone.  Don't chase it and as bad as you initially feel....there's no point.  Let it go.

2. Take steps to  block.  gamstop etc.  this is crucial

3. Get a hobby

4. Visit here reguarly, check in with others, read stories, support each other.

Let us know how it goes and once again, well done for being here. 

Hi Tom

Welcome to the forum. There are many on here who will support you and give you good advice. We are all on the same journey but at different points. Some of us have relapsed quite a few times.

The good thing is that you have recognised you have a problem. That’s a start. Next register with Gamstop for 5 years as that will stop access to most online sites. Block for 5 years. I left it for ages and very much regret it. 

Don’ think you can go back to controlled sports betting. I thought I could but eventually went back to roulette and lost thousands. You need to make a decision, in my opinion to stop everything.

I am a mad sports fan too and watch far too much. I do know that it’s much better to watch a game when you’re not following the corner count or number of bookings! Perhaps watch a little less, spend more time outdoors etc at least for a while.

There are many on here who go to GA and strongly recommend it. If you go on their website you will find a local group and you can just walk in. You also speak to the advisers on this website who are very helpful and may help with some counselling if you think it would help.

For now just take one day at a time and focus on each day. There is a light at the end of the tunnel but it’s hard work. If you haven’t you should consider talking to your girlfriend or a good close friend. Talking does help when you are ready.

All the best

Rob

there is a way out of the mess 

but first you must stop and figure out why you are in the mess you are in

the vast majority of people who come to this forum come on the back of a big loss or a financial crisis they will post for a couple of weeks  and then when the next payday arrives they dissapear 

you have to set the financial element aside and ask yourself what emotional triggers cause you to gamble 

for me it is boredom , stress and sometimes anger 

Thanks for all the replies, after sleeping on it I still feel fully determined to get out of this. The answer to the last poster for me is that I turn to gambling when I’m bored. I always feel if I met my girlfriend earlier I wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place. But now that I have found her she can be my motivation to stop this once and for all. 

Can I ask what exactly the recovery programme is? And how I can sign up too it? I mean this in the nicest way possible but I’m glad I’m not alone, and I already feel reassured that people are having the same problems. 

No one will be offended here.

I know what you’re saying! I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone, but seeing as we’re all in the same boat we might as well support each other an crack this.

Plan to fill the boredom void. Don’t allow yourself to get bored. Take control of that aspect and other things can start to fall into place.

The recovery program is what GA use with the 12 steps. Go to Gamblers Anonymous website and find the nearest meeting to you. They are in most large cities. You will find people the same as you, will offer you support and guidance. My husband thinks they are the best way to get through this. You can also talk to gamcare and see if there is counselling. Sign up to gamstop, reduce access to money, tell someone.

Thanks for both of you’re replies guys, this is helping me very much indeed. So far I have signed up to gamban with 5 years and it’s already suspended my access to all betting accounts, and I’ve looked up for GA meetings in Middlesbrough and found a couple at the Salvation Army. Just need to find one that doesn’t clash with my work schedule. These are big steps I’ve taken already and starting to feel more positive about life atm.

Me and you are in the exact same position, I read your story and thought it was mine. I'm also looking for GA meetings in Middlesbrough. 

We can fight this, we can do this.