Ive never bin on something like this. But I realy need too

Hi Kane - You've done a really good thing by joining us here. Have a read of other people's stories and you will see that you are not alone - so many of us can identify with you and your struggle. Put some barriers up between you and gambling if possible - by self-exclusion or an online blocking program such as K9 - you will find strategies like those a real help.

There is a lot of help and advice out there - GamCare can help you find counselling if you need it. And visiting this site often will give you a lot of support too. Many of us are unable to confide in friends and family, but this place is where you will always find a sympathetic ear and some amazing people to advise and support you.

Stay strong - you can do it.

Best wishes

Joanna

Hi Kane, welcome to the Forum and well done for posting what you have here,

There are many gamblers who gamble relatively within their means, only to find that they cannot stop or cut down when their life circumstances change.

There isn't a lot of information in your opening post my friend, but I do feel that this wedding has placed a very heavy burden on your shoulders, and you are either gambling to try to ease the financial pressure, or as a way of relieving stress (albeit temporarily as, win or lose, you end up having more problems to add to the ones you had before).

You have to draw a line under what has happened my friend. That money is never coming back - if you win, then all it will do is make you crave more of the same (which invariably leads to losing) - if you lose, then you face soul-wrenching desperation to regain what you have lost (which invariably leads to losing, and then losing money you haven't got),

Nothing you ever do will ever change that lose-lose scenario my friend. Accept it, live with it and pour everything you have into getting this wedding right and resolving your finances as best you can - it may be hard to stare reality in the face and compromise your finances but what is the alternative? Losing everything as you say? Why risk everything trying to win money you can never spend?

Even a huge win would become a huge nightmare for you my friend. I gambled for twenty years before stopping over five years ago - every big win meant that I wanted more, at bigger stakes; smaller stakes meant nothing anymore.

Forget everything else and write down a plan of how you are going to handle everything, the wedding, your finances, you as a person; there are other, better, safer ways for you to handle things, but you must push yourself to do positive, constructive things to alieviate the stresses and strains of everyday life - gambling gives you nothing, no genuine happiness, no fulfilment, no sense of achievement, nothing; you have the opportunity of living a long, full and happy life with someone who makes you happy - nothing is worth that; remind yourself of that before you even remotely contemplate making that first, fateful bet - that is the moment where you have some control, that is the moment where you can turn back and do something else to "ride the storm" - once you start, you are lost and the consequences won't matter until it is far too late.

The vast majority of people post here (myself included) when it is far too late - you have an opportunity to put things right, no matter how painful it is. Value it, cherish it my friend - imagine posting here again in a couple of years like most people do, saying it is too late and they have lost everything. Nothing, no game, no amount of money would be worth that

JamesP