just want controll

Good Afternoon Stephen

i think the harsh reality is that a gambling addict must stop completly in order to be free , i know whT YOUR SAYING BOUT MICRO POKER but its been prooved time and time again we can,t stop at small stakes and the rush and the chase takes over and thats what your addicted to ,

im in the same boat in many ascepts i know gambling is no good and 2016 be one of my worst for loosing control , which makes semse as its a progressive disease but i do still play myself controlled footy betting and been winning all over xmas so im not saying don,t as im active

happy new year , be careful out there

Hi Stephen a new member myself today, I tried controlled gambling after 4 plus hard years of complteley stopping, to the point where i wouldnt even buy a raffle ticket!! I found it the gateway back into gambling and as time went on my stakes and activity grew and at a rapid rate i returned to gambling at the start of the football season with an idea of a £10 a week, surely that would be controlable? the answer for me was no its not, hence me joining this forum to start all over again im not going to look at it as 4 years lost but as an aspirational target...ive done 4 can i do more? im back at day 1 and feel no more confident as the last time I was at day 1, Ive hopefully learnt my lesson,and answered the question you are asking youself, my answer for me is a no... im "all in" on abstinance

ive been gambling for 20 years playing online poker since 2002 and im playing every single day, i can count on my fingers how many days in any single year i have not played, i have been succesful player all but one year i was down, yet when i have won ive lost it elsewhere so gamble problem always wins. my mind is a mess all i think off is gambling i even watch you tube videos off people gambling. i have fruit emu games on my laptop to play for fun....everywhere everthing every thought is gamble gamble gamble...its really really deep into me it controls my life, my councelling is helping and i see that joining this forum is part off a process, a start a another step.....as i write this im playing poker now and probley will to a go to bed

Hi Stephen1979.

Welcome.

No I do not believe it is possible to control gambling especially if you have a compulsive trait. Its a powerful addiction and I know how it just starts and takes control before you know what is happening.

All the times you thought there was a bit of control wasnt the test. I used to kid myself that because I could walk past the arcade/bookies for a couple of days that I had some control. I didnt really and I could then be triggered at any time to waste everything in my bank account by gambling.

Your mind may now be going through the stage wher it just wants to stop losing. What I would say is the born again moment is realising that you have to see this in a new light and abstention is the way.

There are debates about different triggers. I am prepared to say that if you come away from the machines and your partner has control of the finances, its the right road to discuss what makes you tick. Poker cleans people out so what you are really saying there is Im just playing for SMALL stakes and its only MICRO poker.....thats the mind justifying a gamble and its how I convinced myself to have a go before losing everything. You need to be out of the gambling environment

What this takes is continued talking with your partner and monitoring of all your finances. You will both know your fianancial situation and gambling isnt really a regular income stream You can talk about freeing your mind from a gambling feeling.

What you are aiming for Is when you will feel that playing any free play reel games is just naff and boring. The reality is all that will do is trigger you again to gamble. I just see those as boring rubbish now and thats how you should feel in time.

What does this for most people is realising the lows that they sank to and they may have debts or lost homes and partners. Then they know that abstention is the right life saver Thats the wake up call so please dont create a false comfort zone that allows your gambling urges

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

Hi Stephen1979

Welcome to the forum. Controlled gambling vs complete abstention is a debate that comes up time and again on this forum, and it's understandable that it's a question you're asking yourself right now as you start your recovery journey. GamCare and this forum is a place where all approaches are accepted. However, you will probably find that the majority of people here on the forum who have tried controlled gambling have found that their gambling becomes problematic again.

In the end you have to make the decision for yourself, but if you do decide to go down the controlled gambling route you have to accept the risk of relapse. Keep up your counselling, stay in touch with this forum and call us on the freephone helpline 0808 8020 133 if you need some support.

Take care

Forum Admin.

hi thanks for comments everyone and takern on board, happy new year everyone who reads.

so new year new approches new mindset, not so funny thou that i entered the new year playing 14 hour poker session finishing at 1.30 this morning (online always) as stated in posts above the control is what im looking for and also to deal with my gambling problems, played a tournament that lasted 6 hours was only $2 entry and finished 4th pulling out $99 last night also another for $5 in $25 out and early in the day two other games $4 in $36 out and also $2 in $24 out. a few tournaments i went in and didnt cash but again nothing above $5 entrys.

that yesterday was a great day and how i looked at it was me being in control and doing and playing great and making money, thats what i want to do.

now it will continue to address my gambling addictionin other forms, fruit machines horse racing slots etc they are the ones i cannot control and need to quit.

i see poker as example as a game of skill, if you can control it you can beat it and win and make money, i am from today reducing my poker sessions down as alot of people have also wrote on this great forum that time is also something that you also lose,becoming unsocial and withdrawn from life, so again that is something i see that i want to address.

its a risk still playing poker but its something that controlls my life. controlls my time so i ask myseld do i have to play poker today?..no..ill have a game tomorrow night and look foward to it.

my gambling picture is for me quiting and dealing with every other form, i still will play poker but no so much

Hi Stephen.

Sadly, you're where I was about 2 years ago - denial. I can echo your post word for word... I'm a good player. I enjoy it. It's a game of skill. It's only low stakes...

While I appreciate this is a place to come for support, sometimes the "cruel to be kind" approach is the best one - you are a compulsive gambler and freely admit it. Poker is gambling. If you cut out your other leaks all you'll do is spew a fortune on poker. I guarantee it.
I used to be a decent stakes player and I've won some big tournaments live and online. I am a very good player, but I'm also a gambler - meaning that all too often maths goes out of the window and you go broke chasing cards.
The fact I played for so long and at a proficient level means I can tell you with 100% certainty that you are not a winning player at micro-stakes, I think you're trying to kid yourself like I did for 18 months. The variance is too high at low stakes, the only way to win is be an absolute nit or a complete luckbox, the micros are basically training levels, I'm sure you've heard the phrase "You can't make sophisticated plays against unsophisticated players". Strategy and skill go out of the window, all you get is a table of 9 players playing their cards with no thought to the variables such as position.

As such, I think you're trying to kid yourself that poker is a harmless passtime and not comparable to the other forms of gambling you're involved in.

Therefore, the answer to your question is: No. In 99% of cases it is not possible to balance gambling to allow what you view as unthreatening. In your case most definitely not - it took a couple of months of councelling to realise you were a CG, which is something we generally arrive at ourselves.

You may enjoy poker. I did, I enjoyed it thoroughly as it was one of the few things I could win at when my head wasn't in all-out gamble mode, but I promise you it's going to spiral. I'd be interested to run you through sharkscope - what's your poker username? I think the graph would be interesting, I'd be happy to be proven wrong if you're a winning micro player. I've never met a CG who was a long term winner and some of my very close friends are tournament pro's. The winners are generally the ones who HATE to gamble and play the maths.

Welcome to the forum. Sorry to sound like I'm having a go but you're still in denial of your illness. My family suffered immensely when I played online poker, it is one of the most anti-social forms of gambling and that's a heck of a statement.

thanks for your post i take everything on board, i am not in denial i have admitted my problems to work/family/friends and have counciling but yes i can understand not being 100 percent to quit gambling as i still play poker.

nevertheless micro stakes tournament poker is my aim just to play as a hobby a pastime when not busy or at work and i wouldnt carry i on if i knew i wasnt a winning player, i check my prolabs/sharkscope and can see it showing $7025 since profit so i am happy where my game is

i can see your point off cutting out other leaks and my poker gambling may spew out off control so time will tell but i also look at it while i am playing micro poker i am not in the pub/bookies with gambling machines and other forms off betting. its my approch for now it may change as i manage my situation. i have counciling i am doing small steps to quit as i have read on this forum its a long journey but its my way of dealing with it. everyone is different in there approch i suppose

I don't believe you Stephen, gamblers very rarely have graphs in the black, they usually look like something your ski down.
Hope you make it work. I'll be here with support (and an "I told you so") when you lose it all, I just hope that doesn't include your family too and that your partner is as patient as mine. 🙁

And dude, £7k at micro stakes is just not possible; you're either pulling the wool over your eyes or you've been lucky playing high stakes. Stick your user name on here if you're confident of your numbers, I'm calling bs I'm afraid and I really want you to have a reality check before you get worse with your gambling.

Why so angry. So its not possible to make $500 a year? $50 a month! Thats all it is $5 tournament entrys max. I do that its easy to eat the fish up....i have nothing to prove

Spending 14 hours to win amounts you could of just made by going to work without any financial risk sounds silly to me.

Time is precious & you only get 1 go at life.

You've got the cart before the horse. The starting point is that you want to play (use your drug of choice?) and you look for reasons, justifications and rationalisations as to why it's ok for you to do that.

Up to you how or if to move forward to overcome the addiction but it's a lack of control that's the basic problem.

CW

i also could have been using that time in the bookies.......i find this cheaper to get my fix so to say, thats why the thread i started was about controll.....anyways just for kevz123 my sharkscope abilty 68 roi:15.2% maybe you where the player i was beating week in week out.

anyways all the best i wont post again im happy with my councelling, there some very good posts on here and also some of you dont understand my point which im trying to ask, if i cant beat it controll it, beat it down. anyways thanks that me on here finished.