Lost in the lot - now feel helpless

How can we help jdn?
You will get all the support here you need.
First off, answer honestly; are you here because you have realised you have a disease and wish to control it, or are you here to pacify yourself because you're skint?
I.e. come payday will this be a distant memory while you spend more cash gambling?

Hopefully it's the former, in which case we can definitely help!

Before anything, there is nothing you can do about the lost money, its gone, and worrying about it or chasing losses will only see you worse off. The hole you're in is something you'll slowly pull yourself out of (we all have had to) but maybe phone some companies you pay bills to and ask for a month grace to get you back on your feet.

First job, close doors. Do that first thing in the morning.
If you gamble online, install blocking software and let someone else set the password. It will remove temptation and save you a fortune.
If you gamble in live casinos or bookies, drop a form in and self exclude.
There's an hour of your life taken up and the rest of your life saved.

You will need willpower, but just making it more difficult for yourself for now should make all the difference mate.

Hi JDN. I'm in exactly the same boat. I literally blew my whole month's salary and have NO IDEA how to get through. I have no access to any credit cards (all at max) and I can't ask for help (long story). I have literally pleaded with companies to postpone my direct debits until next payday (most have) but I will still be over my overdraft limit within the next few days and have over 3 weeks until I'm paid. It got to the point where I was thinking of things I could sell on eBay just to have a tiny bit of cash. My only other option is to withdraw about £200 before all the PayPal direct debits for gambling come out and use that for food and whatever else I need. I'll be charged £5 a day for being overdrawn and next month I'll be in negative balance before I start. I thought I had this nailed (I went about 125 days without the slightest thought of gambling) but then I got a bit panicky at Christmas and thought maybe "one more go" could win me a fortune to cover Christmas. WRONG WRONG WRONG.

I've made myself physically ill with worry for the past 5 days and it's ruined my Christmas. I am contacting Stepchange for debt advice and picking myself back up one step at a time. I wish I could ask someone for a short term loan to tide me over but I've promised too many people that I'd stop and I couldn't bare to come clean again. Maybe this will FINALLY give me the kick up the XXXX that I need. Chin up lovely, we can do this xx

Thanks both.

Kevz123 - I realise I need to take action to deal with this problem. Even though it's not a daily or even weekly habit, I need to take action to prevent it. I went 6 months without even wanting a bet after losing £2000 about 8 months ago. I told my girlfriend and was honest and thought I could stop. After this episode, I realise I need to take further action in order to stop fully. Hence why I'm here and I'll be contacting national debt or stepchange today, to try and get a plan together to sort out my overdraft. Luckily, I haven't used credit cards to gamble. But overdraft is just the same.
I am concerned about my short term financial position at the moment - and this is causing bad anxiety which affects all parts of my life. So I need to get a solution for this first .
I have a meeting with a friend who's been through it on Thursday so that may help. Also I have emailed a few counsellors which will hopefully also help. I will do this. I just have crazy days where I justify the spending. I don't tend to gamble "habitually" on a daily or weekly basis. But I am under no illusions I am still addicted.

Ihategambling - I appreciate your comment, it's a very similar situation to mine. I will be selling some of my things to try and raise some money. But dither than that, I really have no idea how to deal with this situation either!!

I'll post my progress with Stepchange/National Debt Helpline / Counsellors on this thread.

Please feel free to offer any advice

Hope it will help others.

Thanks

Which blocks do you advise? I have android phone.
All the best everyone
J

I can only comment on K9 blocking software which my wife installed at my request.
It's been a godsend.

morning jdn88

hope you are bearing up , im not sure of blocking for android as i got one and never managed it so be keen to see your responses , im joe im a compulsive gambler , u just lose control and good ppl get ruined within minutes , goverment should do more but they in on it

stay brave

K9 is working for me. My partner set the password so I would need to ask permission to gamble and he would be far from impressed !

Hello jdn88

Welcome to the forum there are blocks for android phones and K9 software is one that is free and can be used for androids there are others as well that you would pay an annual fee for here is a link to further information on blocking software .

http://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-advice/what-can-you-do/blocking-software#.VBwD8fldXww

You say in one of you posts you have emailed some counsellors. I am unsure if this is connected with counselling through gamcare so I wanted to let you know that there is counselling available through gamcare. There are counselling services across the UK and if you have a gambling problem you can access counselling for up to 12 sessions with no costs involved.

Helpline advisors can give you further information on counselling and other support available to you. The helpline telephone number is 0808 8020 133 and they are open from 8am –midnight every day. You can also contact the helpline through Gamcare net line. http://www.gamcare.org.uk/support-and-counselling/frontline-services/netline

Keep posting we are here to support you

Take care

Forum admin

Hi all,

Many thanks for the feedback. Greatly appreciated.
Just thought I'd send an update:

I have contacted Stepchange who have advised a financial plan.
I've contacted my bank who have stopped fees and interest for one month.
I have contacted a counselling organisation in partnership with gamcare and have an assessment on Tuesday.
I've spoken to a friend and my parents about it.
I will try my best to pay as much of my overdraft off per month as I can.
I have spoken with my partner about saving and not spending too much.

I'm having some anxiety (which I've suffered from before) about how I can try to raise funds to reduce my overdraft as quickly as possible. I am starting to sell some things I have.

If anyone else has any advice going forward, it's always appreciated

All the best to everyone,

Joe

Hi all,

Many thanks for the feedback. Greatly appreciated.
Just thought I'd send an update:

I have contacted Stepchange who have advised a financial plan.
I've contacted my bank who have stopped fees and interest for one month.
I have contacted a counselling organisation in partnership with gamcare and have an assessment on Tuesday.
I've spoken to a friend and my parents about it.
I will try my best to pay as much of my overdraft off per month as I can.
I have spoken with my partner about saving and not spending too much.

I'm having some anxiety (which I've suffered from before) about how I can try to raise funds to reduce my overdraft as quickly as possible. I am starting to sell some things I have.

If anyone else has any advice going forward, it's always appreciated

All the best to everyone,

Joe

Hi all,

Many thanks for the feedback. Greatly appreciated.
Just thought I'd send an update:

I have contacted Stepchange who have advised a financial plan.
I've contacted my bank who have stopped fees and interest for one month.
I have contacted a counselling organisation in partnership with gamcare and have an assessment on Tuesday.
I've spoken to a friend and my parents about it.
I will try my best to pay as much of my overdraft off per month as I can.
I have spoken with my partner about saving and not spending too much.

I'm having some anxiety (which I've suffered from before) about how I can try to raise funds to reduce my overdraft as quickly as possible. I am starting to sell some things I have.

If anyone else has any advice going forward, it's always appreciated

All the best to everyone,

Joe

Does your partner know exactly what's going on and the reasons for this economy drive that she is being asked to cooperate with? If not, then telling her is the one thing that you can do to help both of you.

CW

Morning all, is so useful to read people's posts, and though I am not the gambler, makes me feel less isolated. I feel as though I don't have to keep all of my worries in my head now, and have a place to share them. Totally totally agree with Spraggy, the Government should do more, it's a xxxxxxx disgrace. Gambling ruins lives, and yet it can be advertised everywhere. Certain actors, who I used to like, should be ashamed of themselves!!!

jdn88 wrote: Which blocks do you advise? I have android phone.
All the best everyone
J

Hi Jdn blocking is really difficult on phones .. I found cancelling my 4g and only using wifi the best way .. I contacted my internet provider and asked them to block all gambling sites this was really easy to do and was up and running within 24 hours .. every time I get the urge my internet blocks it , there may be a few that will work but it takes a while to find one ..and there really dodgy sites ..
hope this helps
L.M