My Story

Hi Tough Times,

Welcome to the Forum and thank you for posting here! 

It is good that you have self excluded and congratulations on your first five days gamble free, especially if they were difficult.

We encourage people to address their gambling problems in three areas: Access to gambling opportunities, access to money and time.

You have started to self exclude which makes it more difficult for you to access gambling opportunities. You can also look into installing blockers.

Maybe you can ask someone you trust to look after your money for you, so you cannot access funds to gamble with?

And lastly, it might be helpful to you to look at how you spend your time so you are not at a loss of things to do, which can increase impulses to gamble.

If you like to, you can talk this through with an adviser on the Helpline or Netline here https://www.gamcare.org.uk/

Both services are open from 8 am to midnight every day.  And we can also point you in the direction of other support which is available to you.

Stay strong! You are not alone.

Kind wishes

Gabriele

Interesting post.

Can I ask about excluding, just the site you have lost on or all of them using the sites like Gamban etc .

I hope so.

Please don't ever think you have beaten this, it's a lifelong commitment. 

Good luck mate.read and learn.its hard.

Thanks for sharing.

I understand where your coming from with relation to your money and what you could have done with it. 

I have those same thoughts which keep me up at night but i am slowly realising i have to let go of those those thoughts as i cant change the past but can shape my future.

You have a good job and you will be able to build your money back up but think about how much time you will have to spend with your wife.

Gambling would take away something more important than money and thats time. You can have that back now and invest it back with your loved ones.

Hi,

Thanks for the messages and for reading my post, it means a lot.

I have just banned myself from the 2 sites that I use so will install gamstop software so that it stops me on everything.

I haven`t slept for 5/6 nights now and all I can think about is how stupid I have been as I had it all and now I have nothing. I realise this cycle has gone on for 3/4 years though and its must be stop or I will end up losing everything in my life.

I am under no illusions that its going to be the hardest thing I have done in my life as I feel so worthless and so desperate.

Its like a knot in my stomach telling me that I have spoilt my life over trying to get more and more money. If you told me 3 months ago, I would of had how much I did this time 2 weeks ago, I would never of believed anyone. I ask myself why couldn't I just stop then, then I would be happy. I can`t see how happiness is going to return with this cloud hanging over my head.

Sorry for waffling on, as you can tell I`m really going through it this morning.

Thanks for reading.

Posted by: torrio1988

Thanks for sharing.

I understand where your coming from with relation to your money and what you could have done with it. 

I have those same thoughts which keep me up at night but i am slowly realising i have to let go of those those thoughts as i cant change the past but can shape my future.

You have a good job and you will be able to build your money back up but think about how much time you will have to spend with your wife.

Gambling would take away something more important than money and thats time. You can have that back now and invest it back with your loved ones.

Thankyou for posting this, it really has helped me this morning.

I think gambling has taken away my sanity and my relationship with money. I wouldn`t ever consider booking a lavish holiday yet I would quite happily lose months and months of salary in the space of 30 minutes gambling. Utter madness that has to stop.

It would be great if you could keep me updated on your progress on this thread as it may help me get through these very dark days.

I go on holiday next week with my wife (thankfully its paid for) and all I can think about is how am I going to relax and enjoy it when I know I have just lost all my hard earned savings.

Trying to stay strong.

come back stronger, massive fight ahead, you can do it.

Posted by: holycrosser

come back stronger, massive fight ahead, you can do it.

That's exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Things people write on this forum, give me so much hope for the future.

Also just spoke to an advisor for nearly an hour which was really beneficial.

Trying my best is all I can do.

The money has gone. Try to draw a line under it. Anything else makes you vulnerable to thoughts of chasing and you already know how that ends.

Does your wife know all this? Honesty with those around is one of the first steps towards a solid recovery. Making yourself accountable to someone else makes it very much harder for you to gamble in secret.

@Lethe

Your right that the money has gone and I am really struggling with that as all I think about is what I could of done with it all if I hadn`t logged on and lost it all and more and more. I do realise this is a cycle though and its been going on for a long time and that I am never going to win. And quite frankly, I wish I never had won as I know that's what kept drawing me back in.

My wife doesn't know yet but I have taken the step to conifer in 1 friend and my brother now so I am building a network of help.

I`m onto Day 7 and I still feel physically sick at what I have done.

I am determined to eradicate this from my life though as I know that if I ever returned to it, it would probably end much much worse as I still have things to keep me going.

Your right about needing to accept the past is the past. It is the addiction that has got me here and it would never of stopped.

Today has been a tough day again as normally I put my football bets on for the weekend and at the same time have a lengthy roulette gamble. Its been tough but I`ve not missed it.

I`m seeing my mate tonight who I have told everything too and that will do me the world of good after 7 days gf.

I`m going to keep posting on this saying how I`m doing just for my own sanity.

I aim to be back on here on Monday morning after a healthy weekend appreciating life.

Hi im glad i was able to help.

I took another step forward today by telling my wife everything. She understood and supported me. 

I know there is a massive hole when we lose large sums of money, which is a natural reaction. 

Me telling you accept your losses and move on isn't something that makes things easier to accept.

This is where you need to dig deep and continue to speak to close friends and family about your progress.

Your loved ones love you for you and not your money so take that pressure off yourself and enjoy there company..especially on your holiday. 

Start enjoying the little things in life again..things that make you smile. I try to watch comedy, have jokes with my wife, go to the gym and each passing day i get a piece of myself back.

Hearing your stories makes me realise we are all human and you dont have to deal with this addiction alone. 

Hi,

I`m logging in today and updating My Story as its been 31 days since I took action to stop gambling.

I can happily say that I haven`t gambled. I`ve changed parts of my daily routing to combat it and as the days goes on it does get a touch easier. I have moments throughout the day were I think about all the money I could of had and what I could of done with it, that's the hardest part for me. I`m slowly coming to terms with the fact that the money has gone and no matter what I had won, I would of still found a way to lose it all if I had continued this addiction.

I`ve spoken to my friend, spoken to a gamcare advisor and will continue to fight every day to rid this from my life.

Its a tough, painful journey but its a journey that I am going to succeed in, I owe it to myself.

I want to be the person I know I can be.

I still feel disappointed, upset and annoyed at myself for allowing this to happen.

Anyway, thanks for taking the time to read this if you have, the words on this forum have helped me greatly and anyone who thinks they are alone, you are not, theres always someone out there to talk to.

Good Luck to everyone, keep fighting this addiction. Your health is more important than winning money.

All the best.

31 days!!  Thats fantastic Well Done!!! 

Keep it up and Stay Strong!

Thankyou @whatafool.

Its been hard so far and it will get easier but also harder. I`m aware of the journey that's still ahead.

I hope you are doing well on your own journey.