Need Advice on a Horrendous Situation

Hi bad discipline I don't really know what to say. Call gamcare and get their advice. Hand over your finances to your parents. Everything can be paid without you being involved. Software blocks. Go and talk to someone in uni finance asap Monday morning. You need support. Unfortunately the only way is by telling someone. If you get kicked out your parents will know. It's better to finish your degree. I think uni should know that students are getting into debt gambling, you're not the first and you won't be the last. This has been all over the news, student union rep was on Victoria Derbyshire show. Get some help, make the call. Good luck!

Hi baddicipline,

You need to get to GA and get on the 12 steps. You did a few months with will power but the voice in our head is always lurking waiting for moments of weakness, GA meetings will help as will following the 12 steps. Your parents may not be happy that you have relapsed but they might help if you come clean and hand over control of your finances to them or someone you trust. I would sit down with your girlfriend and explain to her that you are a compulsive gambler, if she does not understand you could ask her to attend a GambleAnon meeting as they are for partners or relatives etc of compulsive gamblers. The reason it existe is as you have said most people dont understand it, they think we should just stop.

Get financial advie regarding your Uni, maybe they can delay it our something but you need to come clean asap.

Hello baddiscipline,

Well done for joining the forum and sharing your story with us.

You've said that you woke up this morning feeling 'Sick with anxiety', and that today you feel 'Frankly suicidal'. It sounds like you're finding your feelings overwhelming at times, and you don't feel sure about who to talk with, or what to do about your situation. Sometimes spending time in the company of others, and communicating with others who are supportive towards you, can help to reduce anxiety and increase feelings of reassurance. Sometimes talking with people can help you to feel that the burden and pressure is reduced and that the problems can be managed. The Samaritans are available 24 hours a day on their freephone 116 123, if you want to talk with them about the suicidal feelings. Our freephone 0808 8020 133 is staffed till midnight if you'd like to talk with us about your gambling problem and the free professional support that is available locally and online. You could also talk with your GP about the 'Dark periods' that you've mentioned. As our forum members have suggested, it could be useful as well to communicate with your student welfare officer, your student union and your university, to find out more about how to proceed with the financing of your studies. If debt is still an issue, you might like to talk with the National Debtline, or other sources of expert and impartial professional debt advice:

http://www.gamcare.org.uk/about-us/links-other-support-agencies

Talking with your family and partner could also potentially increase support for your recovery. If they would like to talk to us, you could invite them to call us on 0808 8020 133 so that we can support them too.

Please feel welcome to call us so that we can support you more.

Take care,

Forum admin.

Thank you all for your messages.

I've booked in with a counsellor. Hoping that will help my mental state.

In regards to the situation, I confided in a family member and told everything. He's agreed to take control of all my finances and pay the fees. I'm still not sure if I should tell my parents about this as they have enough of their own stresses and I don't want to be an unneccesary burden.

Regardless of these decisions. Today is the first step towards a gamble free life. Its been a long 24 hours but its finally over and I have a non-gambling plan in place. Ijust want to be able to concentrate on my studies and make gambling a short term problem, I think my only saving grace is that the money I could get hold of was severely limited by the fact I'm a student. Thank god I haven't been able to blow a salary as thats the only way it would have gone.

I hope everyone reading this knows that gambling is a vicious trap that the only way of winning is by not gambling at all.

Hi baddiscipline.

My best advice is that you have to now face this head on and reach for a born again moment. Make no mistake a compulsive gambling addiction kills people so you have to take something from the fact you have realised the problem sooner rather than later.

There is no shame in admitting to a gambling problem and you need to talk through whether you do suffer from depression. I have experienced depression since primary school and its all too easy to brush it off as just feeling a bit down.

Stress in study or worrying about the future is a key trigger for gambling. Even your university counsellor would be good to talk to because you need to talk as secrets are no good for you.

I am a complusive gambler in the present tense even though I havent gambled for nearly two years. I have no urges now and see gambling for what it is but thats how I deal with any complacency that may arise.

You need to be living on an allowance and the people around you do need to start understanding what addiction is all about. Its not just you being silly or greedy for money. Its far far deeper than that. You need to treat this addiction with the fear and respect it deserves

You will need all sorts of coping mechanisms in place..Whats done is done and you are still with us to put your life right.

There is no room for half measures and you will have to build things like trust again by having no access to larger or even smaller sums of money. While your mind heals its essential that someone else is managing the inflow and outflow of funds. Its also essential that you are self excluded and blocked on gadgets from all the gambling dens...around you, nationwide and online

You need to clearly focus that gambling is a mugs game and its no income scheme when you need it. As a compulsive gambler you would not have been up anyway and its not for you.

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

Hi BD

I am a parent of a young gambler so can relate to both sides of you and your family. You have been given a probable last-chance lifeline by your caring family member and having your your finances controlled is the best thing - that was the bet thing we did.. Shame it was not done sooner. Also your secret is out and it will be more difficult to gamble. You have been gambling with your very potentialy bright future. Your Masters degree will bring you so many opportunities to work, travel, better quality of life etc. The gambling will do the exact opposite. While studying for that Masters look at all the extracurricular stuff you could throw yourself into - i.e join the students union, train as a counsellor yourself so you can help other students with this problem or mind issues. It is now a well known fact that many students at uni are suffering with mind issues and need support. Do some sport, anything, there is so much out there if you discipline your mind to channel it elsewhere but gambling. Also take some time out to realise that your problem just does not affect you in the end - it affects the whole family. Make today Day 1 of g free, keep counting the days, keep talking to Gamcare and counsellors and your lovely relation who is helping you. You have so many positives in your life - keep focusing on them. I hate to see young people being drawn into this by all the adverts and tv, etc and it is made so easy for you all and it is now all walks of life. I hope you can turn your problem around into helping others and that will also keep you busy. Good luck.