Hi. Always come on these forums and read to make myself feel better when I have lost a load of money, but I feel now is time to speak out and share my story.. I am 27 now and I have played online slots for the best part of 10 years. £100 here and there (majority of the time I would lose). Last Friday night this all came to a horrible conclusion and PayPal allowed me to deposit money through them that was never even in my bank account to begin with. Things got very carried away and I ended up depositing a massive amount that I can't afford of 4.5k. I felt sick all of Saturday as it was my partners birthday and I didn't have the heart to tell him, but we went out and had some drinks that night and I ended up being honest and coming clean. And he has actually been so supportive and helpful towards me (makes me feel even more guilty but so so thankful to have him) If PayPal manages to take the money out of my bank account (I have no overdraft arranged) I will be totally screwed as I get paid into this account and I am in a minimum wage job so I don't earn anything close to 4500 a month. I am hoping that the money will revert back to PayPal and give me a negative balance and I will be able to set up some sort of payment plan with them, but after phoning them and the bank to see what I can do I have to wait a week for the debt to settle somewhere and then see who it is I owe it to. All a big massive mess but I feel so thankful to have such an understanding and supportive partner. In my 10 years of gambling online I have never lost anywhere close to that, and I feel sick and so disgusted with myself! However, I am trying to see the positives from this and considering it a lesson learned. I need to start saving money now and building towards a future with my partner and never ever falling into the black hole of gambling ever again!
Hello JG21
Welcome to the GamCare forum. We're glad that reading the forum has been helping you and that you now feel ready to make your first post. We've moved your post to 'New Member Introductions' because that's the best place for your first post - members usually make a point of checking that section for new members and will stop and say hello.
Sorry you've had such a big loss but if there is a positive, it's that you've taken this step towards changing. What else are you planning to do? What's your overall goal? Would you like to stop altogether and if so, what's your plan to stop yourself 'falling into the black hole of gambling' again? If you need any ideas for strategies to help you, the 'Get Advice' section of our website is a great place to start.
https://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-advice
If you haven't already, you might want to phone our Freephone HelpLine on 0808 8020 133, or chat to us on the NetLine for some 1:1 advice.
Keep posting,
Forum Admin
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