Now just fed up

Hi - I am the parent of a younger gambler. I am continually amazed at the age range this problem affects and equally amazed at how long people can go with this problem. A lot seem to start when they are 16 and between 16 and 48 is a hell of a long time for you to be niggled by all of this. First of all you are maybe lucky that you have not had to gone down the bad debt line and have been managing your finances but I am afraid that in a few years time with continual spending on this scale it may be a different story. The addiction gets worse, the spending gets higher, so on and so on. In reality you have a job, a lovely family, no debts but the gambling is now getting you down. If you have been coping with this pressure on your own for a long time then now is perhaps the time to make a plan to stop. i.e. ring Gamcare counsellors on here for practical advice about self exclusion, emotional support - tell someone close about the problem and perhaps ask them to moniter your finances which is a really good deterrent. All things we have tried and tested and they do work. Please get some help for your sake and your lovely family. Good luck to you all.

Hi, I agree with everything that has been said above, if you can stop before it gets anymore out of hand then brilliant! It's already effecting you emotionally and I bet it is effecting those around you without you realising it yet, they won't know what's wrong thou. We change as compulsive gamblers, it's a progressive illness and we just get darker. Call the help line and get some councilling, and speak too someone close, that is one of the biggest hurdles I know, we fear the reaction of a loved one, but it does really help, instead of saying 'I have a gambling issue' you can say 'I have a gambling issue but I'm getting help' it at least shows you have recognised it and your trying. A compulsive gambler will struggle if they have spare money, or any money for that matter and our addiction would talk us into spending it, cutting the supply off is really important, hand over finances too your partner and go too a ga meetings...they are a great source of help! Well done for admitting and recognising your problem, first step in your journey too recovery 🙂

Thank you - you have captured my thoiughts and emotions perfectly. I know what could happen and i have been observing this forum for a few years so now is the time not to just watch but act - whilst i know i can. Thank you

gamparentanon wrote:

Hi - I am the parent of a younger gambler. I am continually amazed at the age range this problem affects and equally amazed at how long people can go with this problem. A lot seem to start when they are 16 and between 16 and 48 is a hell of a long time for you to be niggled by all of this. First of all you are maybe lucky that you have not had to gone down the bad debt line and have been managing your finances but I am afraid that in a few years time with continual spending on this scale it may be a different story. The addiction gets worse, the spending gets higher, so on and so on. In reality you have a job, a lovely family, no debts but the gambling is now getting you down. If you have been coping with this pressure on your own for a long time then now is perhaps the time to make a plan to stop. i.e. ring Gamcare counsellors on here for practical advice about self exclusion, emotional support - tell someone close about the problem and perhaps ask them to moniter your finances which is a really good deterrent. All things we have tried and tested and they do work. Please get some help for your sake and your lovely family. Good luck to you all.

Hi AAAA.

Yes I think you are beginning to *** it.

A first key point is we delude ourselves that we were in some form of control over the years. The truth is that every loss is a painful sign of the addiction. We delude ourselves that it was a comfort zone but it always affected us and our families. Ive had good jobs but I never had that sort of money to throw away. I was never in control but I kidded myself that I could ride it out. I never told people what I could throw away in one session. When it peaked I could lose £700 in a couple of days....money I desperately needed to pay my living expenses

I was compulsive because like many problem gamblers I couldnt bear the thought of losing on a spin until all my money was gone. It was also firmly linked to stress and depression and escaping from that with a short term fix which actually made it worse.

The addiction creeps in until we live life of complete lies. The fun went several decades ago and now Im honest enough to admit that.

So yes you must stop right now because the lack of control reaches a point where it gets completely out of hand. It was always out of hand with me. I could never afford to lose £70 in a pub or even £10. Its just a sad waste of money and it cant be rationalised in the cold light of day. I repeat again that it always affected our families but it will reach a stage where homelessness and bankruptcy are looming.

The born again moment is like a lightbulb of clarity coming on. Self exclude from everywhere and tell people close to you. Give gamcare a ring as the one to one voice is very theraputic

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

Joydivider wrote:

Hi AAAA.

Yes I think you are beginning to *** it.

A first key point is we delude ourselves that we were in some form of control over the years. The truth is that every loss is a painful sign of the addiction. We delude ourselves that it was a comfort zone but it always affected us and our families. Ive had good jobs but I never had that sort of money to throw away. I was never in control but I kidded myself that I could ride it out. I never told people what I could throw away in one session. When it peaked I could lose £700 in a couple of days....money I desperately needed to pay my living expenses

I was compulsive because like many problem gamblers I couldnt bear the thought of losing on a spin until all my money was gone. It was also firmly linked to stress and depression and escaping from that with a short term fix which actually made it worse.

The addiction creeps in until we live life of complete lies. The fun went several decades ago and now Im honest enough to admit that.

So yes you must stop right now because the lack of control reaches a point where it gets completely out of hand. It was always out of hand with me. I could never afford to lose £70 in a pub or even £10. Its just a sad waste of money and it cant be rationalised in the cold light of day. I repeat again that it always affected our families but it will reach a stage where homelessness and bankruptcy are looming.

The born again moment is like a lightbulb of clarity coming on. Self exclude from everywhere and tell people close to you. Give gamcare a ring as the one to one voice is very theraputic

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

Thank you very much for the words. They really help. You are right about the control over the years. Never really in control but now im even in less control than i ever thought i was - which i wasnt ! Thank you