Hi everyone, and thank you for reading. I'm a gambling addict, that will remain with me for the rest of my life.
I first found gamcare in January 2014, not by accident, I needed help and found here. I've had a recovery diary but wanted to do a renewed post. I've been in counselling since January, but my sessions have grown further apart.
Wow, what a rollercoast of emotions the last 5 months have been. I've gone from someone so in denial about everything involving gambling and those it effected to a place where I can be honest, gamble free and with time financially better.
There was a time I thought it was just me, I had no where to turn and chased my bets constantly thinking I could blag my way out of the whole Id dug. There came that time when it stopped working. I had to tell the truth. It has caused problems, I've had to a DMP, I nearly lost my marriage and I felt suicidal at points.
But I spoke up and admitted my situation, not easy at all.
I am still aware of all the bad things, however I have a lighter step in my foot and my shoulders are so much less burdened since facing and starting and continuing to deal with my problem.
I'm fortunate in that despite the heartache I have had the strength to continue. Gamcare and breakeven have been my temporary back bone whilst I rebuilt myself, I'm still in counselling next session tomorrow, and have helped repair me to a place that I can cope with so much more. A few sessions in I needed to make a list of things I aimed for, there were several monetary things but others were - stand up for myself when knocked back for my problem and the biggest "HELP OTHERS REALISE THEYRE NOT ALONE". I don't think I'm mentality capable currently to assist others due to my situation in person so I try here. I wish each and every single person who looks on this site the greatest of support as you have come SO far in even reading posts. I wish you all the greatest wishes of best luck and please remember above all else you are not alone.
stay in control pal, im reading so much optimisim, take care
Hi Ali - It's very heartening to read your post and as newshoes has said, it comes across as very positive. I am sure many members will be encouraged by your words. Loneliness and stress is often what gets us into compulsive gambling, yet this site shows us that we are not alone and so many share our feelings and emotions.
Best wishes for your continued journey.
Joanna
Hi newshoes hi baggins
Thank you for reading and responding, at times this forum was all I had. I am feeling really positive, didn't think 6 months ago I'd ever be able to say that!
I've been extremely fortunate in finding help and wanting to help myself. I've hung my head in shame and broken my heart crying over what I've done. I cried about it yesterday as I thanked my gamcare counsellor for everything he and they have done for me. They've not only helped me get over my problem they have enabled me to rebuild my life. Things are so much more in perspective now, things I thought were important have changed, my husband and son don't want fancy things bought for them - they far more enjoy me making them a cuppa and having a chat or helping with a bit of homework, we actually sit together sometimes now and take the Mickey out of the programme whichever of us is watching! I got so caught up in such a vicious circle of gambling that I didn't realise what was slipping away, but with the help I've received and my determination I'm getting it back together. Last Sunday I actually had 30 spare and bought myself some clothes, that's been such a long long time since I could do that and now every time I open my wardrobe I smile cos those items signify for me a new start! Through the help I've received and the journey I've travelled I'd really like to help others. I think for me it's still early days so I'm trying to work on awareness for others, I couldn't get anyone through it as still too much a part of it myself, so on Facebook (I only have a few friends) I owned up to what I've done and stated the help I received and asked people to share to help others and I felt proud when 2 people dud share it, it's spreading the word little by little.
I think I will always drop in on this forum, sometimes to have a little say about how I feel but more often to look for those looking for help as I was in January this year as gamcare for me was the beginning of the rest of my life and I know for the rest of my life I will forever be grateful to gamecare and breakeven, started welling up again, for being there when I so desperately needed help. God bless, be strong and my greatest of love, respect and support I offer to every single person who takes the first step on this path.
Ali xxxxxx
Love and respect to you Ali, I wish you continued steps in your life journey free from gambling. Continue to use the tools of the trade and you''ll succeed.
Del 305 days GF 🙂
Hi all, crumbs so long now. I'm still gamble free and feeling very proud. Finished my breakeven counselling, cried thru pride 🙂
Just come back from hols where I had some spending money yay!
I'm working back thru what I've posted to remember. To all who have read, commented etc THANK YOU
THANK YOU Ali! Your posts are inspiring..... I am envious tho at the same time am feeling very strong....I'm gonna make it!! Take care. Helen x
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