Hi all
I am not new to the forum, but have not had the willpower or courage to stop gambling, so hence I have stayed away.
I so desperately want to stop the gambling that has hurt my loved ones and myself, lost jobs, lost friends and am in so much debt that I do not see light at the end of this dark tunnel. I have become a liar, a thief, and pretty much someone that is totally unreliable. I feel that I fight a personal battle each and every day through good and bad. I have been told that I am a good person with a nasty disease, but they are only words and do not mean much to me at the moment. I can honestly say that I feel worthless and believe that both my children and husband would benefit by me not being around to destroy their lives even further. I am going to my first gam anon meeting on Sunday and my mother, who knows most of my demons, has said that she will support me by going with. I also went for a session of hypnotherapy, but unfortunately that did not work. Will I ever recover from this evil addiction? Will I ever be able to walk past a gaming centre without going in? These are the questions that I need to know. I am sitting here all on my own at the moment as my daughters partner that lives with us, does not want to come home as I had to repay a loan debt to him today and I couldn't so it has put him in a predicament. Please any advise, help. Sue
Hi Sue70,
Hope you are OK? Everyone here understands what you are feeling because we've been through it ourselves. CG's are always the most interesting people in my personal experience, so one thing I can promise you 100% is that the world is a better place with you in it. So no more talk about "better off without me"
For me as a CG I had to reach my own personal rock bottom. But only then could I 'draw a line in the sand' and say no more. With support of my family and friends, (because this time they could see I was truly broken, lost, honest, accepting I had a problem and for the first time genuinely wanting to change), I managed to go cold turkey and stay quit for over 4+ years now.
If you are by yourself right now I'd recommend getting a pen and paper and writing what you love about gambling down one side of the page; down the other side what you hate about gambling.
Next, do the same for Why you want to stop versus Why you want to carry on.
Now, take a moment's pause and look at the list you've just written of 'Pros/Cons' - What do you notice?
Keep that list with you and next time you feel tempted to 'try your luck' take it out and read it before logging on/walking into bookies. If you still want to do it, then add to the list in that moment Why you want to versus why you don't want to.
For me it really worked over a couple of weeks and fails as the list built up each side. I hope it helps you too.
Best,
Molehole x
Hi Molehole
Thank you for your kind and meaningful words. I am going to take your advice and write a list of pros and cons, and am also going to take one day at a time. I want to be the good person, mother and wife that I know that I can be. I will update on my progress and will let you know how my first meeting goes. Today is Day 1, it would be so great to achieve what you have done. I am going to have a heart to heart talk with the husband tomorrow and am hoping and praying that he will stand by and support me through the difficult times that await. Sue x
That's great to hear. Best wishes to you. The urge to Love is stronger than the urge to gamble. You are lucky to have your hubby and he is also lucky to have you. Don't keep gambling as a grubby, dirty lie.
It really gets SO much easier once you decide to quit it for good. The first few weeks are tough for sure - but as someone wise once said - 'nothing worthwhile comes easy'. After the first month I honestly never gave gambling a second thought. And except for one moment of madness when I got cocky, complacent and (to be honest drunk as a s***k) I've never thought about it again.
I'm actually quite a weak person, whereas you sound focused and strong, - so if I can go nearly 5 years this September without a bet then you better believe you can too (even if if may not feel like you can in this moment).
All the best,
M
I myself have said enough is enough, we all have ways to combat and recover, but with me it was bookies and fobts, and i totally detest bookmakers now, i remind myself that the ceo of ladhills or fred power is more than likely driving a top of the range audi whilst his or her range rover is getting serviced, and i tell myself that not one single pound will go towards heating their swimming pool...... What's done is done, this is the first day to the rest of your life, time to enjoy
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