Realisation

Hey Ak welcome to the forum. I don't post often but I couldn't help make comparisons to our situations. I'm also 23 and in debt because of the horrible hold gambling had on me. I currently owe £6000 on a loan ( it was £7000 two months ago but I started paying it off), credit card and overdrafts so your in a better position than me.

A few bits of advice mate, first of all: all is not lost , we are both young and have plenty of time to turn this around. Granted 4000 seems a lot at our age but it's not insurmountable and certainly not the end of the world.

Dont let it drive you mad each night like it did to me. Just accept it and move on, it's a learning experience. Make a repayment plan and stick to it.

Your credit file can be sorted later, forget it for now. Just try not to miss any repayments and it will be fine. Ironically being in debt can actually help your credit file as long as you don't default on payments.

Before you do this, the gambling needs to stop and now. People counter it there own way, personally I told my girlfreind everything and she's helping me manage my finances. It's a big step telling someone but I don't regret it one bit. Find out your recovery route and do it. Worst comes to worse just tell someone.

It's not gunna get sorted overnight mate so again please don't let it get to you or you'll enter self destruct mode and have a relapse.

Enjoy the small things in life while your repay what you owe, visit family, work your dog, exercise and try to avoid excessive spending on nights out etc until it's sorted. Do this and it will go faster than you think.

i wish you all the best in your recovery mate.

Liam.

Thanks for the encouraging words Liam especially the part about enjoying the small things in life because I really understand what you mean by that. I hope you are able to pay off your debts in the coming year without feeling the need to go back to gambling. I think we need to both accept that 2015 will be difficult but hopefully it will be the last year we go through this torture !

Hi AK,

Around your age I had the same sort of debt, luckily rescued by my mum who paid it off, I paid her back over a number of months.

However, the money was not the problem, it was a result of the real problem which is gambling. I thought because I wasn't worrying about money any more I could gamble responsibly.

Unfortunately, I managed to get more loans, again and again for the next 10 years. I can't get a phone contact, let alone a mortgage. Great news for you is you have time on your side.

Don't follow in my footsteps and end up in over £40k worth of debt and years of misery. Nip it in the bud now and you'll have a great future!

With a lot of my debt I let it go to debt collectors which has a terrible record on your credit report. However, I had no option. I simply could not afford to pay it.

Most my debts went to default in 2007 and I ignored them, until 2013 when they were wiped from my credit history.

Now I'm not saying ignore your debts as you ideally don't want to have credit problems until you are nearly 30.

But.....it's not the end of the world if you can't get credit, in fact it stopped me getting into futher problems!

Speak to someone like PayPlan if your debts are becoming too much, they can speak to your creditors and organise payments that will be affordable.

If you do go into default and they send loads of letters to say they will send bayliffs round etc, unless it's a secured loan or a CCJ they can't reposses anything. I have a few payday loan companies pestering me a bit now and they have offered to accept 50% less than what I've borrowed from them, albeit my credit record is shot to s**t from it.

All in all, don't feel threatened by these banks, they often have no power to force you to pay, although they can hurt your credit record with CCJ's and defaults. Consumer action group is a great website for people in trouble with the banks.

Also open a safe bank account which isn't connected to the banks you owe, you might only be able to get a basic bank account if your credit is already bad but at least you can keep what money you do have in there without the banks automatically taking it.

AK,

I am in a similar situation. £2000 on the credit card, £200 overdrawn and struggling to see a way out. I have made the decision that today will be the last day I gamble for now and forever.

I've found that even when I win the money doesn't make me happy and i genuinely don't believe it's the money element i am addicted to. It's the feeling or the trance should i say i'm in whilst gambling.

Does anyone have any ways in which to deal with that 'feeling'? i know filling the gambling time with a hobby is the general reply but i'm pretty certain that's not going to work for me. I visit betting shops at lunchtime during work and use online sites whilst at my desk in the afternoon.

Any reply greatly appreciated and AK let's get through it together mate.

I know what you mean by 'the feeling' . I've not really had it recently because not had £100's at my disposal.

I think you need to start to realise you are never going to win back what you've lost and continuing as you are you'll get further in debt whilst the rest of your friends have money to do things.

The feeling will pass and you'll start to enjoy other things, instead of firing off to the bookies and checking the clock every 2 mins to get one last spin in, you might pop to the local deli to enjoy a fresh sandwich and drink for a % of the cost you can blow in 30 mins playing roulette.

'The Feeling' to me changes throughout the gambling cycle, usually starts when I have money and I start visualising winning, then when I start gambling it goes two ways, I lose so up the bets to win it back, or I win so up the bets to make the most of my new found riches! My heart is beating both ways, I'm not really thinking about reality, the fact I will have no money left for the day/week/month. Then when I've finished I've either lost it all, feeling of despair but strange sense of relief, or I've won and then my mind is super hyperactive and I can't think about anything else other than my next bet.

These are not feelings you can easily substitute, they are dangerous and illogical. You need to start taking pride in not betting and you'll start to find you enjoy some of the things that have been right there all along, chats with friends, walk to work, watching Emmerdale! You'll also start to like yourself a lot more because gambling does nothing but makes your feel worthless, shameless and anxious.

I hope you can stop, plenty of help out here if you need it.

Well lads ill go one step further ,

Im 22 and ive got around £9000 around my neck currently thanks to the devil and his wheel

9 grand that’s almost a deposit for a house ffs !! ......oh well no point thinking of it like that il never get it paid

I don’t know about you 2 but im chalking this up to one hell of an expensive lesson in life

just think its better to have knocked this on the head now than in 10 yrs when we are in our early 30s and have families to support and 30ks worth of debt

if i can pay my lump off by the time i get to 25 and quit gambling i will be singing from the roof tops lol

anyway today is day 23 done onto day 24

Thanks tearsofaclown for sharing your story and providing useful tips & resources for getting rid of this debt. Jspaghetti, I also know what you mean with betting to feel a buzz rather than winning money. Sometimes I think I do it because I like to give myself the challenge of winning it back again but now I know I'm too far in debt for that and things would get worse before they got better ! I hope everyone can resist the temptation - I know for me it will be really difficult but I can already feel the benefits of this forum as I feel sane amongst others going through the same things as me.

It's been a horrific year for me worrying About money constantly. I have struggled month to month and had to borrow money to see out the last few weeks before payday every month. Up until now I have always managed to win whatever debt I was in back. In October I was 2k in debt and managed to clear that on 1st November. Unfortunately by the 2nd I was again £1200 down and from there it's became 4.5k and I know there is no way back now so I am prepared to cut my losses and work hard to repay. I think taking pleasure in the small things in life like tearsofaclown and Liam have pointed out above is a good way to start.

Well done nipped for resisting for that long. Like people have said, we are young enough to turn it around and like you I will treat it as a major life lesson. We may end up being the lucky ones who have came through it whilst not having anyone depending on us, whereas in the future I can see a gambling addiction epidemic and many people our age being affected when they have families and a mortgage to pay.

Well done lamps ! Going to the football will be difficult for me. This season I have often went to games and lumped £3-500 on how many corners my team will get to give me an interest in the game (my team play terrible football). I can't do that now as I don't have the funds but like you I will look towards getting a buzz from the smaller things on matchday and life in general.