Hi there.
My name is Mark, I'm 36, have a wife and two beautiful children. Recently ive realised gambling has become a problem for me.
Years ago I used to work at an amusements and always enjoyed playing fruit machines and playing slots etc. I used to just play machines recreationally ie when in the pub etc.
But as times past and fruit machines/slots now seem to be everywhere , It has got to a stage where I'd go to town for some shopping and blow ВЈ300+ on machines or fobts. I'd pick up a Chinese and have a quick £100 in the machine.
The sinking feeling after losing that money would hurt, but I'd keep the losses secret from my wife.
Thankfully when I get paid , I instantly transfer my wages where it needs to go, so the bills are paid but any savings I have saved personally have been blown apart by my gambling.
I have lost over £1500 in a month.
I just think what that money could have bought me/my family.
What fun/amusement did I have?
I also watch slot videos on YouTube, just to get a fix.
I have banned myself from online slots after losing £200 in 30 minutes sat on my sofa, I figured if I was gunna gamble at least I should leave the house....
Anyway, that's me. Hopefully admitting I have a problem, may deter me from gambling. I really want to stop but without my family knowing about my gambling.
Hi Mark
Welcome to the forum and you have made a good choice in joining and admitting you have a problem
Reading your post you do have a serious gambling problem and you may be in the early stages of realisng how dangerous it is.
You need to focus on that danger and get it clear in your mind. It will ruin you given half a chance. It is the most irresponsible thing to do with money you cant afford to throw away.
Now the difficulty here is that In my heart of hearts I know you should be telling your partner. You cant really hide this sort of thing from her. Gambling thrives on secrecy and keeping secrets is not good for you and its not good for stopping. People find out eventually and its never good. Put it this way...Im ashamed that my parents used to give me more money and I would wave bye bye than be off gambling it again. I have since told them everything and they have been helpful and understanding
I believe that willpower alone is not enough. It takes support and monitoring until you gain a healthy mind again. I used to watch those you tube videos and now I dont because I just think the people on them are sad to be honest. I have a healthy mind and see gambling for what it is. All you are seeing there is edited highlights from people who should know better and seem to be promoting gambling for whatever reason
This forum will be a lifeline to you and I hope you keep using it.
You know that what you have been doing is dangerous and irresponsible. Thats why gamblers get furtive and secretive with it.
You have been ignoring the odds like we all did on machines. They are deviously programmed. They are random number generators with a huge built in disadvantage to you. The real odds are hundreds or thousands to one of getting the high amounts. What you are playing for is never enough which is why you are out of control. Like many you may just be playing for the fix or buzz while you gamble away your family money. Its also linked to stress and feeling a bit lost in life.
You are getting there in that you realise its not really fun. However it seems you want to be able to continue gambling.
I believe and I know that you owe it to your family to come clean and tell them what you will be doing to become a better person. It needs full blocks and monitoring of your finances. Could you handle that because its about saving your dignity and quality of life?
The question is are you ready to stop beacause abstention and monitoring is the only way. Focus...on what gambling has actually done to you...forget the lucky clover and false fun...it will ruin your finances because the gambling dens want your money and they want it fast.. Do you work to give it away to gambling companies?
Im being tough becasue its tough love. I hope it will focus your mind
The only way is abstention, honesty, counselling and talking it through.
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
You have a family - so you are blessed. There are many people that have been unable to stop and lost more than money.
Focus on your family, keep a nice photo in your wallet, on your computer on your phone - force yourself to look at it everytime you feel like gambling. If you go out, just bring enough money for you need and leave the wallet at home.
Accept that you can never gamble again - its not about stopping for a while, its about accepting you are wired a little different when it comes to gamble and will never be able to stop. Fight the urges and count every day not gambled as a win. The sneaky casinos will email you, text you, write to you - show you glamorous ads on TVs with smiling people and celebrities - they invest their money in this - because they know they will always win!
Good luck, wake up every monring with a smile and thank God that you quit gambling today
Thank you guys for your replies and comments. I have been reading lots of people's stories and diary logs.
I believed that I was a normal bloke that just liked the odd punt, but have realised, although I'm not in as deep as others, that my gambling turned me into a irrational person, often lying about my whereabouts.
This cannot continue, I WANT to beat this.
Todays day 1.
Hi welcome to the site, I'm 36 days gf now and could not list all,the benefits already. I still have the debts which I'm clearing down but at least they are not growing like they would if I had not stopped. Take note of the previous posts and make that change, you can do this but you have to change your thought process and draw a line under any losses. Good luck x
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