Relapse after 914 days without a bet

Not nice reading, sorry to hear of your relapse. I posted something earlier today about having 1bet in relapse and stopping again. DON'T chase my friend! You may have had this bet planned and you thought it was a 100% winner, but look it lost. Bets made while chasing are the worst decisions I've made in my addiction and mostly out of frustration, nothing else.

It's good to hear you've posted after this 1 bet. You know you've messed up, an expensive mistake but put something in place now to reach your next 914 days. Mentally you know you can do it!

I hope you're alright :[ Don't beat yourself up too much

Avoid the second bet and you can't place the third. Best to you!

Hope ur not too low! Don't beat yourself up its time to get back on the wagon and be positive you have to reach 915 now!!

It's true that turning the tap off on one vice can open it up on another. I feel that everyone needs a vice though. Whatever that may be. It is undeniable that drinking makes the vast majority of people more social and conversation flows easier when alcohol is involved. I would not focus on the social aspect too much though I just see it as a de-stressing technique. If you don't need it then fair play. But you will have other de-stresing techniques and no doubt other vices - whether that be fast cars, shopping, fast food, smoking and many many many others.

Samson,

Your post about having a drink, can you explain a little more? I'm not disagreeing with you, just would like to understand a little more.

I like a beer and a whiskey at home mainly on a weekend, probably go to a pub 2-3 times a month, never smoked and don't do drugs. The drinking I can control, the gambling I couldn't. Mixing alcohol with gambling can be dangerous I agree, even if it is drinking in the pub watching the horse racing or drinking at home betting on-line, the latter of which I used to do. I've got rid of the gambling now and sometimes a good old drink could be said to by a personal toast towards my recovery!

Now a tale (mental scar) of how drinking and gambling didn't mix well during addiction. Last year I was on a lads weekend at Butlins. We'd had a few beers during the day and went to get changed for the evening. I'd picked out a bet for the England v Aussie rugby union which I didn't place due to having a laugh with the lads. It would have won! This strangely put me on the chase, chasing money I should have won! I lost a lot of money that evening! Yes I could blame it was due to mixing drinking and gambling, but no one really knows for sure. The lads I were with weren't gamblers, just me and my CG addiction caused that damage. Still hurts that tale.

Some guys at GA enjoy a drink, they've changed the pubs they drink in, therefore the people they mix with.

Tomorrow I'm out for a beer or two to watch the Premiership final day, and if Man Utd don't qualify for Champ league I will have another beer to celebrate (sorry Man U fans). I won't gamble I will socialise with good friends.

Thanks.

Hi

I'm not sure why drinking was brought up by the previous poster as it didn't have any relevance to what you posted.

To state what I am sure is obvious to others reading about your situation, you shouldn't beat yourself up too much as you have obviously made great progress to get to where you did. Beating yourself up isn't a good way dealing with a slip. I used to regularly beat myself up for 14 odd years and it never helped. Try to look at your slip with objectivity and honesty. And then adjust as necessary. This is a far more productive approach - and is generally a good way of getting better at, or developing confidence, in anything.

I'm kind of in 2 minds regarding slips.

IMO addictions is a symptom (I don't see how this up for debate - but people do claim otherwise so I continue to say it's my opinion). As you probably know, people will often be 'dry gamblers'. Is it better to be gamble free for 20 years but to essentially be a dry gambler - to have papered over the cracks? To still be living by the same fears and insecurities, the same disconnectedness from life and other people, but to nonetheless not be gambling? Or is it better to be addressing your root cause but to have the odd slip? I know which one sounds better to me and which one points towards a more fulfilling life.

By the way, I'm not suggesting you're a dry gambler or otherwise. Just some random thoughts on the matter.

Best

Louis

The minute you place a "free bet" you've had a bet, you've gambled. The vicious circle starts again.

If the free bet loses you may walk away, otherwise you may chase. If the free bet wins you'll have funds to bet with again.

Simple thing is ignore the free bet, bin it, or delete it and none of the above can happen.

All the $h!te emails and spam the online bookies and casinos send don't even open them just delete them, all they are after is your money. Unsubscribe if possible. A simple step to put another nail in the gambling coffin.

im still feeling extremely low unable to get out or talk to anyone, its as if time has stopped.

Hi, Richy,

I'm really sorry to hear it and it's unfortunate that your thread's been diverted but I'd echo Cardhue's post, also Triangle's. You have a choice now between telling yourself that there's no point and giving yourself permission to dive off the wagon head first; or doing what it takes to stop NOW. Break the triangle and get back to GA, look at what gambling gives you and why you needed it.

The addiction will always be there but you can live with it, have a way of life that acknowledges it but isn't controlled by it.

Hope you make the right choices for you.

CW