Relapsed today

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 Matt
(@gi1oywujqv)
Posts: 2
Topic starter
 

Hi,

I'm 38 and been gambling all my life but this has always been small amounts and completely under control and felt normal.

This all changed when I signed up to a site about 5 years ago and happened to win a large amount straight off, withdrawal was no fuss and ever since then I've been chasing more wins.

I've lost everything I won, and probably lost well over £20,000 on top of that now.

That money has gone. I'll never get it back and I accept that.

Gamstop has helped (but gamban doesn't work for me unfortunately) but I've relapsed a few times and lost large amounts on dodgy websites that would never pay out even if I won.

Every time I say never again. Every time I relapse at seemingly random points.

All I can think this time is I've probably subconsciously seen gambling ads on TV because of the Euros and it's put the thought in my head. 

Any advice? It's so frustrating that I feel like I've beaten it and then i just lose thousands out of nowhere. 

This topic was modified 2 weeks ago by Matt
 
Posted : 6th July 2024 10:27 pm
PeerSupporter Isobel
(@95zl4c2xhn)
Posts: 2
 

Hi Matt,

I had a similar gambling experience when I was trying to quit, had many relapses and were chasing my losses. 

I think that, to a large extent, breakdowns occur because it is difficult to forgive yourself for losing money. What helped me was that I found a job soon after finishing my studies and stopped thinking about it. New goals appeared, and I began to think about the future.

From time to time, I still had thoughts about gambling, but I learned to distance myself from these thoughts. I accept the fact that, as a former gambler, I might  have thoughts/urges at different points of my life, but I do not have to act on them. 

 

 

 

 

 
Posted : 7th July 2024 11:09 am
(@spottydog)
Posts: 68
 

Gamban on all your devices i did this and have been 32 days bet free. Literally blocks of every gambling site here and abroad. Best thing i ever did. I have banned from local bookies and gamstop. This is the only way for me to block myself off. The gamban app is brilliant. I asked the dodgy online places to block me as i had a gambling habbit and they gave me free bets now i cant access them thro gamban anyway

 
Posted : 7th July 2024 7:44 pm
Thebean
(@thebean)
Posts: 194
 

@gi1oywujqv. Hi Matt, well done with the post.

The wins are always the worst.  You end up with a big amount of 'free' money so are okay to deposit and gamble more.  It was the worst thing for me...  I would have a win and then just redeposit and up the stakes....  Obviously I would lose.

Gamban has worked for me, it never used to but seems to have improved now.  Also I had to tell my other half (the hardest thing) and I handed over my finances.  I reality this meant showing her the bank statements and I don't have a card that I can use to deposit anymore.

It's about layering the protection.  Gamban, Gamstop, no access to credit cards or debit cards that can be used to deposit, being honest to those around you, asking for help and getting treatment

A gambling problem is an illness.  It needs treating.  Well done on realising this issue now before it escalates further.

 
Posted : 7th July 2024 11:24 pm
(@m8dwiecolu)
Posts: 2
 

Ive just joined today, had to leave a job through ill health and depression last December, lost a lot over the months in amusement shops because I had a few big wins, thought it was an income and wouldnt need to work. Losses were inevitable and ended up banning myself from those shops. Online became a thing, won a few thousand and lost half of it thinking I could win more. GamStop has halted that now but its the fruit machines in pubs which I play when ive had alcohol. I hate myself for doing it, ive limited my cash limit at cashpoints but I get cashback instead, can be couple of hundred a day. I cant afford to do it, but have to accept that only way to stop is not putting ANYTHING in, as a win always makes me play again a couple of days later. Im depressed about it all, lost a few thousand in a few months but I know its gone. I can block my card from using chip and pin to remove the cashback but makes it hard paying for anything higher than my £100 contactless limit. 

 
Posted : 8th July 2024 10:51 am
(@m8dwiecolu)
Posts: 2
 

@thebean its having a card on me thats the problem but if I had cash I would be tempted to use that instead on machines. Im glad im not the only one struggling with this, im so depressed and thats why I end up in a pub and after a few drinks I go on machines. I know its pointless because every win usually goes back in, whether the same day or another day, I always think I will win more. Its only when ive had alcohol but I go pubs because my life is rubbish at the moment. I need to break the connection between alcohol and gambling, its so hard.

 
Posted : 8th July 2024 10:54 am
 Matt
(@gi1oywujqv)
Posts: 2
Topic starter
 

Thanks for sharing your stories, it amazes me how different all our experiences are, even though it's the same underlying problem.

I agree the only way to stop is to stop entirely. I've always been able to stop for years and then somehow pick it up again and each time it's devastating.

It helps hearing your stories, wishing you every success on your gambling free journeys 🙂

 
Posted : 8th July 2024 5:52 pm
(@v5ihc0gytk)
Posts: 1
 

@thebean do you bank with nationwide or the Halifax/rbs/natwest you can put a instant gambling freeze on all your cards in the mobile apps of the banks. I lost £1550 in 3 mins roulette several months ago. The freezes have saved me it takes 48 hours to remove the instant freeze works on credit cards too  I would have relapsed well by now without the freezes lee

 
Posted : 10th July 2024 6:13 pm
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