So here I am.

Hi Sam hope your ok. I cant really offer any advice im only on day 1 of no gambling but i know how your feeling. The sickening feeling when u lose all your money. I think i became good at lying , when all my wages had gone i was asking people to borrow me money. I took out far too many payday loans. Im in about 2000 pounds debt now not including what i owe friends and family. I hope your girlfriend sticks by u i havent told anyone yet im gathering up the courage to tell somebody. Keep us updatef how u get on x

Hi Sam.

I'm sorry you are going through tough times. Pathological gambling is a b***h, and can and does destroy lives. You can't change what has happened in the past, though can control the future by getting help. There is no quick fix or one-stop solution that works for every compulsive gambler; we're all different people, with different personalities and underline issues - what may work for one person won't work for the next one.

Here is what I suggest:

1) Cut up your credit and debit cards NOW. This will restrict your ability to access cash, but does mean you won't be able to gamble as easily. This can be tough to do, but I would suggest opening a building society account and transferring money on a regular basis to the account and withdrawing small amounts of cash at a time.

2) Install BetFilter on your Computer/Laptop. This is not fail safe, but will stop you from accessing gambling sites on the Internet.

3) Self Eclude from ALL Bookmaker and Betting Shops. Do this in your place of work and where you live. Don't delay, just do it! Make sure you ask them to circulate your details to other nearby shops and ask for permanent exclusion from their premises.

Every compulsive gambler knows that it doesn't matter how many barriers you put in place - you will always find a way to circumvent them if you really want to. These barriers and points I have suggested, when worked in conjunction with each other, should act as an interruption to the initial urge/compulsion causing you to gamble.

I am on day 1 too.....got about £18k of debt to pay back. It is going to take 2 years of hard work to pay the cash back, but I am trying my best to remain optimistic.

Best of luck mate. My fingers are crossed for you!

Thanks guys, really appreciate the kind comments.

I feel much more supported now I have joined this forum. I have managed to secure some money so my girl friend doesnt find out and thankfully im not in too bad a state when payday comes round.

Need to keep focused. Really wish you both well in your recoveries also!

Hi Sam

How you doing?

Sazzy x

Hi Sazzy!

Ok thanks! Yesterday was tough, and I know I will struggle this weekend with all of the football, but today is my third day. Really pleased with myself for having got this far. Just taking each day as it comes.

How are you getting on?

x

I'm good thank you. Glad you managed to secure some funds that will ease the pressure.

This weekend will be tough for sure but you can get through it, see it as another milestone and think how proud you'll feel once the weekend is through and you haven't had a bet!

Keep logging in here mate and take it one step at a time.

xx

Hi, Sam

I'm from the other side of the fence so I don't approve of your efforts to secure more funds so that your girlfriend doesn't find out. In my experience, this process involves being on the receiving end of lies, either directly or by omission.

And unless you've put the barriers suggested in place, the funds and your salary at payday will be keep tempting you.

If you're serious about quitting, then try to get your gf on side. It won't be less difficult for her if you tell her but it's even worse if she finds out the hard way. After the trauma when his gambling came to light, I stayed. He goes to GA, I manage our finances, he has minimal pocket money, I've put up the barriers and he doesn't have rely on will power.

Honesty is part of recovery.

CW

I do completely agree with you Clynical Wife 100%, when I said I was glad he had secured funds to ease the pressure I ment that was one weight off.

Honesty is part of the recovery however honesty comes with time also.

I hope you are ok and didn't take offence to what I put.

Take Care xxx

Hi Sazzy & Cynical Wife..

Im on my last chance with my gf regarding gambling, so if i did tell her that would be the end of it 100%. If that happened the chances are I would turn straight back to gambling. As it stands she is none the wiser to my recent lapse and financially im surviving.

I agree honesty is the best policy but in this instance it would spell the end for our relationship. I knew after my last lapse I couldnt quit on my own without any help, so here I am!

Going to update my diary now with my thoughts. Appreciate both of your kind comments

xxx

Sam, with all due respect, you are talking Gamblers Nonsense, with which I have little patience.

It's your decision as to whether or not to gamble. It always has been. It always will be. She can't control your gambling and she's not responsible for what you do. You're not a kid and she's not your mother. Take responsibility for your own actions.

You are in recovery because you have chosen recovery. It's a wise choice, obviously the suggestion is that you do what it takes to stay in recovery. Barriers, self exclusion etc.

There's a difference between lip service and half measures, all done to shut her up whilst leaving the door open for gambling, and genuinely wanting recovery for yourself. If you can show her that you're for real, if you're doing everything you can, attending GA, hand over the finances etc, then she might stay.

The other aspect of Gamblers' Nonsense is to think that by keeping quiet she won't find out. Sooner or later she will, in my case it was later and much worse for it.

Wish you well,

CW

With all due respect CW I dont appreciate you telling me in talking "nonsense"

Im here to be supported not to be scrutinised. I havent asked for your patience, nor for you to comment on my posts. If you feel im talking "nonsense" please dont comment on my posts.

Apologies for any offence caused by wording but not for substantive opinion.

Best wishes,

CW

How you doing Sam?

Sazzy xx

Sam i recently came clean to my partner and now we're trying to rebuild our relationship and it will take a long time for her to trust me again. But i am so so glad that she knows now. Even if she had left, i think i would have still rather she knows the truth. She means too much to me to keep lying to her.

I am in no way telling you what to do or how to handle your recovery! Just sharing my experience! Hope you're still going strong dude