Not even sure where to start. I guess ill explain my situation first. I have been a problem gambler for the last 8 years. I’m currently 27 have the most loving partner and a baby on the way. We have a joint mortgage.
Around 2 years ago was when i first encountered major problems racking up debts that I could not afford. After seeing no way out i come clean to my partner and with money we had saved paid of my debts. I work in the finance sector and have all ways made good money and after stopping at that point we was able to get the home we had all ways wanted. I stopped all in all for around 16 months.
Out of no where I decided one day to have small bet it couldn’t hurt it was only a small amount and I hadn’t done it in well over a year... boy was i wrong that has led to the last 8 months of my old ways. Currently I have around 10k in total. My partner knowing I wasn’t myself looked into my account and confronted me on what she saw. That was last night. We have money saved for when the baby comes (not a lot and no where near the 10k debt i am) she wants me to use this to start repaying but I adamant that is not an option. I got paid today and have not gambled. I have sat down and worked my debt out and looked at a plan to try and tackle this. As mentioned above due to my work i am unable to look at any Debt management plans etc so is something i will need to resolve on my own.Â
I have never signed up to any of these forums but after reading other peoples issues it makes me feel less alone (silly i know)Â
More importantly than the money i feel so ashamed and horrible about what i am putting my partner through again. I wonder if she wasn’t pregnant would she still stick around and to be honest I’m not sure why she would. When confronted last night she asked me if i ever think about her when I gamble... and the answer was no. That’s not because I don’t care about her i really do love her more than anything but i cant even explain how i feel when i gamble only know how i feel after. Im worried with being pregnant this stress could have a negative impact on the baby.Â
Sorry for rambling on it feels good to put it in words. I will keep checking in for my own sanity more than anything else.
thank you for taking the time and reading.
Dear @all-usernames-taken
Thank you for taking your time to post on our forum and share your story. I am sorry to read about how gambling has affected both your and your partner’s lives and that you feel that you need to resolve your financial difficulties alone. I understand this is because of the nature of your work but I would encourage you to speak to one of our Advisers as we may be able to share some ideas with you.
Please also know that you are not silly in thinking that reading others gambling experiences makes you feel less alone. Other users of the forum will be encouraged to hear that their stories help and can make a positive difference to how their companions on the road to recovery feel.
Our Advisers are able to take your call on 0808 8020 133 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. If you prefer you can use our netline via the website.
Kind regards
Jo
Forum Admin
Hi, well done for telling your story, Like you say, there are a lot of us going through the same on different parts of our journey, the main thing is that you want to stop. It's not silly that seeing other people going through the same makes you feel not alone, you should take great strength from other peoples stories. I feel like I have joined a big club where we all have so much in common and you will find people will comment on your story to help you along. Have you put any blockers on your phone? When I stopped I registered with Gamstop and installed Betblocker on my phone. This stops you accessing any gambling websites and can be set for up to 5 years which I have set mine to. Sounds like you have the support of your partner and have the baby to look forward to. Believe me that will take all of your time when he/she arrives and is the best thing in the world. You are only young so you have made the right choice to sign up on here to start the long road to being gamble free.
I am now 36 days gamble free after blowing a lot of money over the last 5 years. Every day when I go to bed now makes me feel good that I have not gambled for another day so feel positive about yourself and your future. I have registered for counselling through Gamcare and find it helps talking to someone about how you feel without being judged. It may not be for you but is worth thinking about.
Good luck and keep posting
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Thank you Bladesman for your reply.Â
Today is day 2 and despite not sleeping well i do feel in a better space.Â
I have applied the gamstop block and will be putting any spare money in my partners account to try and save up to clear some of the debt.Â
I still feel when i am around her it just makes me feel guilty and I’m sure that feeling will last along time.Â
36 days is a fantastic achievement and certainly one to be proud of.Â
Ill keep checking in and hopefully we can all beat this together!
thanks again for taking the time to read, enjoy your gamble free day 37!
Hi, I'm the same with the guilt because I feel better every day but my wife is struggling and the guilt is because it's all my fault. Yes it will take a long time for this to ease but stick with it and both of you talk about how you are feeling. It is a long road but together you can make it. Have a good day ??
Hiya allusernamestaken
Just because you gamble my friend doesn't mean you don't care about your partner or your child on the way, it's an addiction and a terrible one at that. Even when you've gone such along time not gambling and then you do the damage is down and worse off all is if your trying to chase it as we all do but in the end there's only one winner and it's not us. I'm glad it's out in the open with your partner that way no more lies takes some pressure off you. I see it as your 27yrs old, if you can stop now put the 10k down to a loss as it's in the past and your not getting it back, set up a payment plan that you can afford so you know how long it will be till your debt free, get some advice and help to try and stop the gambling as if you can learn how evil it can be at this stage off your life think of all the money you will save in the future as well as not having to feel ashamed you'll be there for your partner and child therefore living a happy gamble free life. Good luck my friend hope this helpsÂ
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