Hi, I am new to this forum. I have been gambling a lot since lockdown began. I have struggled with boredom and this has led to gambling. I am lucky to still have a fair bit saved, but I cannot help but be angry at myself for gambling just under 3k since lockdown began. I need to stop now, whilst I still have savings and not in any sort of debt, but I always say this and nothing ever changes when my next pay comes in. I speak to my partner about it and he says not to do it again. I swear I won’t and then of course I do. I know I am lucky to Have food shelter and loving family and friends but I still cannot help getting angry at myself for what I could have done with that money. I know it’s in the past, but I can’t stop the urge to keep doing it. I was doing well focusing my attention elsewhere, like the small act of having a shower or listen to music instead. But I find it hard when I am on my own in the room, whilst my partner is elsewhere and having the urge if he is asleep and there is not much else to do. Any advice please?
I would just add that it isn't normally enough to just attempt to stop and abstain because if you gambled for fun or for the buzz, you will continue to get dopamine urges from your brain tempting you back in.
It's useful to try to understand what is going on when you get the urges.
Physically I think you need to use the time you would normally gamble to do something more constructive such as go for a walk or read a good book.
Mentally I would try to think about how you felt when you last had a big loss and then consider how you'd feel if you suffered a further loss through chasing for example.
Sometimes the best thing to do in these circumstances is take a breath, do not immediately act on an urge however strong, and normally by following some of the ideas above, the urge will pass... and your cash will stay where it belongs i.e. in your account.
Hi graceg. Have you thought about installing software to stop you from accessing websites such as gamstop or gamban. There are others that the forum advisers can give you the details for.use the helpline or the live chat and they will talk things through with you. Gambling is an addiction and a progressive addiction, get help before you not only gamble the rest of your savings but get into debt as well. Read stories on here including myself, and ultimately people lose things more important than money.. Family.. Friends .. Partners. Installing the blocking software is not a cure but it limits your access to gambling and therefore gives you the time and space to get your head straight and get help. Good luck with your journey and best wishes
Hi Graceg and welcome.
You do need to stop right now and your partner should ideally be holding your bank cards for you. Both you and your partner need to start realising how extremely dangerous this is. Its no game about a silly flutter. You have seen the damage it causes and its got deep new lows in store if you continue
Its not really boredom as there are a million things to do. However your mind and body has learned it likes the drug hit of gambling. That hit overides anything else you can think of to do
Its a powerful hit which controls and addicts which is why you should start to think of this as a drug addiction. Its seems a high but its actually destroying you......just like dangerous substance abuse.
You have created a comfort zone in your mind as we all did. You talk about still having savings because you are searching for upsides to ease the pain of the truth. Your savings will soon go if you dont enter a full abstention recovery.
Not much else to do is actually an excuse we all made. The truth is you crave gambling over all else.
The gambling dens are pushers...Its a mugs game designed to take your money fast
There is no shame in asking for help. You need to tell your partner again because this is not about your willpower alone. You need all the help and all the blocks while you do the cold turkey.
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
Hello grace... my story is exactly the same as yours! I too began playing slots during lockdown out of boredom.... first it was just small flutters... eventually I graduated to £X £X and £X coz winning small wasn’t enough anymore... in 2 months I have lost more or less £X. And now I also feel angry about the loss.... it was hard to accept at first because I kept thinking what I could have spent the money on.. I still do today but the best thing I do was self exclude from the sites I play.... and I can look forward to topping up my savings come payday... I’m 7 days gamble free since self excluding. I’m working so work is keeping me occupied and when I’m off I’m constant cleaning the house or going for a walk... it is hard and I do beat myself up about the loss but I have learned to accept it... please charge it to experience... the way I think about is I’m too far down £X there is no way of winning that back... you will only lose more. We are always here and write about how you feel coz it certainly helps
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