After years of telling my girlfriend and family I'd stop gambling today is hopefully the day I do. Not sure how to go about it though, I know I can't continue to bet anymore it's absolutely ruined my life. What started as a little £10 on a Saturday bet has now turned it £300-£500 a week along with some loans to pay as well. Stupidly though I didn't think this was that bad after hearing numerous stories over the years from friends about people they knew who'd been tens of thousands in debt. My girlfriend somehow has always believed in me to beat this and put up with so much from me, I want to do this for her as much as me. She's always tried to support and help me by offering advice like looking for a hobby but honestly I've spent that much time thinking about betting and trying to "study" horses or budget what I'd be able to afford to gamble each day(which never worked) I've lost interest in anything I used to do (football, fishing, thai boxing & the gym). Just writing this now I realise is a massive step for me as I've always struggled to talk about my problem and accept I even have one. Thanks for anyone who read and any advice would be much appreciated as I haven't got a clue how to start helping myself
Hi there. My name is Phil and I'm a recovering gambling addict. My belief and I think others agree is that taking it one day at a time is a good approach. Make it manageable. I was the same - "obsessed" with horse racing. Did I make any friends in the bookies? No.Did I have any fun? No. There are many things you can do - self-exclude from as many shops in your area as you can - this means you cant even go in there to use the toilet - you're basically trespassing. That's the deal. Close and self-exclude from any online websites and remember you can post on this website as many times as you like. Gamblers Anonymous seems to help some people. Starting a recovery diary is a good idea and the GamCare staff are good to talk to be it online or on the phone. Believe me as time goes by interest in other activities returns. I was basically betting on EVERY race in every meeting before I realised it's not just about the money it is also the way it impacts on relationships, mental health, trust etc. One day at a time....all the best, Phil.
Hi Carter, this is probably one of the hardest things you will ever have to do, I know for me it is. The best thing to do is self exclude from everything online for the maximum period and any bookies you use. You have made a really good start by coming on here, just be as open and honest with yourself and possible, just writing in my recovery diary really helps me, I have been gambling for the best part of 7 years (I am only 25) and I can honestly say I have ruined that part of my life, you know how it feels! Each time you think about gambling just do something else (I know it is super hard) but just divert your mind and keep busy. My mistake was that I thought I was cured and I stopped using this site, I was wrong. Write as much or as little as you want, even just to vent frustration. I wish you all the best in this journey :o)
Hi Carter1,
Welcome to the forum, and thanks for sharing your story here.
It seems like you’ve been struggling with your gambling problem for years, and you’ve been shouldering the problem by yourself, perhaps hoping you can stop it by yourself. Thus it seems like you’ve deprived yourself from the support that you could have gained from both your girlfriend, family, and professionals like Gamcare.
Just to make you aware, gambling problem is difficult to try to stop it by yourself; most people need professional help to overcome it. It also gets worse if you don’t do anything about it. It’s also not unusual to find oneself trapped in the vicious cycle; most people need professional help to overcome their gambling problem.
Today, I think you’ve taken a brave step, and a step in the right direction by posting here. Forum members are very supportive, and I can see some of them are already encouraging you to try and move forward with it.
I suggest that you contact our free phone Helpline: 0808 8020 133, and speak to one of our advisers for further help and support. We can even refer you to 12 sessions of free counselling, if that would help you to stop gambling. Our lines are open every day from 8.00am to midnight.
With a supportive girlfriend and family, in addition to your determination to stop, and also with the professional help that you can get from Gamcare, I think there’s no looking back.
My best wishes to you, and please keep posting.
Kind regards,
Beatrice
Thanks for the advice, I've been reading through other posts and trying to take onboard everything I read. It's only day one and my first step but already I'm feeling for the first time that I'm willing to try my hardest to overcome this. Every time I've ever promised, sworn down I'd stop and get help just to keep people off my back deep down I knew I wouldn't or believe I could, even just last night sadly I was thinking there's no way I can completely stop, come Cheltenham or Aintree I won't be able to resist but I read something earlier that hit me "the effects it has on my loved ones isn't worth it" selfishly I've never considered other people's feelings while gambling, thinking that it was my money I'm losing and only my life I'm destroying. I could cope to an extent feeling like that but after talking with my girlfriend and really listening to her I know how much this hurts her and that's my main motivation now!
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