Following on from my previous message about how rubbish my week had been following the euphoria of my son's birthday, i got to see the children and estranged wife yesterday.
During this time, she actually told me that she couldn't see us getting back together anymore.
This devestated me.
My life feels over now. I have lost everything, wife children, home, everything is gone. So what did I want to do?? You guessed it, I wanted to gamble. Had a small amount of cash in my pocket and on the way home from work I parked up upside a bookies.
Then, suddenly I started to think about my wife, my children, my home and the undevoted love I have for them all and decided that I wasn't going to bet, so instead, I went into a charity shop, bought the children a small present each with the money I had and took it over to them.
Their faces made me so proud of my decision, it's unreal.
My wife and my children will never know about these little victories in my battle, but, I am d**n proud of myself for finishing a rotten week with a positive.
Onwards and upwards, and fingers crossed for a good week this week
That's amazing to read, well done you! can't have been easy but the reward?...massive! It's my babies that have sparked my change and are a great excuse not to gamble xx
Well done , whilst your wife and children do not know of these little victories we do and understand them, proud of you, onwards and upwards and keep chalking up the days of gamble free x
Plum
You did the right thing. Your life is not over. You just took a wrong turn, it will take a little while to get back on the path, but at least you are going in the right direction
Stay strong buddy...
Well done mate you made the right choice. I wish you all the best.
RA
Love "wife and kids will never know the battles that we face" so so true
Hi there Plum,
This is the first time I have ever posted on this forum but reading your post struck a chord with me.
I won't go into my story just now but haven't told my wife yet of the gambling and debt I have got myself into. My biggest fear is losing my wife and kids and home but am fairly sure I will. Like you I was in trouble before and my wife helped me through it. I doubt she'll be as forgiving this time though. If only I had gone to gamblers anonymous, if only we hadn't remortgaged the house, it was such an easy way out.
However all you can do is keep showing her how much you care about her and the kids and how much you are doing to beat this. She obviously still cares about you as she wouldn't even be seeing you if she didn't, so who knows yeah? Don't give up and keep battling. Why not tell her about winning these small battles. I'm sure that will mean something to her.
Thanks everyone.
Iain9893, the sooner it comes out buddy the better. This is the 3rd time I have split with my misses over my gambling (a 6 year battle with it) and she found out by default this time. If I had been honest with her sooner, I am certain we would be in a different position than we are now.
I will never say never, and everyday I am fighting like crazy for my life back, so who knows? But I do know, and have learnt one thing from all of this, honesty really is the best policy mate and the sooner you tell her and get help, the better it will be for both of you.
Good luck
Hi Plum,
Thanks, I'm struggling to see it like that at the moment mate. Last time was 4 years ago and I was £30k in debt, we remortgaged the house and paid off £20k of it and for some reason I reckoned I would pay off the rest no problem and would never gamble again cos I couldn't face the prospect of losing my amazing wife and kids.
Well here I am 4 years down the line.... was struggling to keep up with the credit card payments and reckoned I could gamble again, but this time win it back. I'm now almost £60k in debt, all on my credit cards. Feel like my life is over tbh. Sitting at work at the moment and struggling to focus on anything. One thing that is a positive is I'm not gambling. Struggling to eat and sleep. Only thing keeping me going is the fact that when I get home from work I'll see my kids and pretend everything is great. Deserve everything that is on my way I guess but really not sure how to tell her.
Hi, their faces were the opposite of gambling, the truth, gambling is a lie. Your post was from the heart, i feel your pain at what your partner stated but you must never give up because trust and over stuff don't come back overnight. The road ahead is long and things come back in time, you'll see. Never stop living, you might be hurt now but that feeling will pass, it's not forever. Your life isn't over, if you stop gambling your life has just begun.
Keep your chin up, i'm proud of you and i don't even know you.
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Hi Allainepo,
Thanks for posting. I'm feeling a little more positive today. Still not gambling and resigning myself to the fact that I am in a lot of debt. Figured I'll probably spend the next 10 years paying it all back but there is help out there. Main thing is I'm not gambling.
Gonna tell my wife soon and it might make no difference but I'm gonna get a plan in place to repay every penny and make sure I don't ever gamble again. If she walks away then I have to accept that. The only way I can ever win her back is by showing her that I am doing everything I can to change. Last time I guess it was all words and the proper blocks were not put in place and I was enabled to gamble again. This time.. actions speak louder than words!!
Main thing I have to remember is that life ain't over, I feel different today. Hopefully I'll feel the same tomorrow.
Hope you're doing ok Plum?
Guys
Heartening to read your posts. Same boat as you. Wish you all the strength to stay gamble free.
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