Suffering from a relapse - must stop!

I have only been gamble free for 15 days after 5 years of gambling, but I didn’t want to read your post without reaching out. 

You have stopped before, and you can do it again. Almost everyone has a relapse at some point. I know it sounds like you have lost a lot of money but like before, recognise this has now gone and you can jump back on the wagon.

I suffer form anxiety and depression and for me this is what contributed to my gambling, and the gambling also made these mental health issues worse. It’s a vicious cycle. But you are seeking counselling. Have you put blocks in place? Gamstop, gamban etc etc? 

Anything like this that you want to know more about the support advisors here are amazing. There is even a bank account called Monzo that bans gambling transactions. 

You sound like you are determined to help yourself, so please try and not be too hard on yourself. 

Wishing you luck with this, but I’m sure you will be back on that road to recovery in no time. 

Hi Toby.  Sarah from chat room.  I am only on day 1 so any advice would seem hypocritical, however what I would say is if I could have talked to someone 20 years ago.  I am 42. I probably would be mortgage free at 42 and the hours of overtime and working hard would have seen me living in a nicer home, driving a nicer car and like I say mortgage free.  That’s nothing of all the hours wasted sat at a slot machine.  Not sure what your gambling habit is?  Nor the times I cried, felt guilty, felt angry and felt stupid.  All negative emotions I could have avoided if someone had said to me 20 years ago.  You won’t win.  One day you will be playing for silly money and you won’t see the wins.  You will chase money lost and wasted years past.  So while I know you have a struggle ahead.  As do I.  Let’s try and do it together.  I am at day 1.  I want to clear my loans and credit cards so I can go on with the rest of my life and not be held back and live a less life because of a fruit machine.  Pretty colors on a screen whizzing around and taking my money at the same time.  Counseling will help I am sure.  Honesty is good.  Take care 

Hi Toby and welcome to the forum :)) 

You've already had some good advice regarding blocks and keeping yourself safe but if you need any clarification on anything there's a thread on here from admin about useful tools to help you stop gambling . 

It's a vicious circle my friend of win ,lose, and chase that won't stop until you do , you've already noticed that the amount's you gamble are increasing and that's simply because like any addiction your brain becomes used to the hit of dopamine that it gets every time you gamble , it's never the same as the first time so you either bet more often or up the stakes to get a bigger rush and so it goes on :(. 

It also no longer becomes about the money for us , we might think it's the big win were after but in reality it's just that Buzz , all money ever became for me was " Gambling tokens " so I could carry on getting my fix and any money ever won was given straight back to addiction . 

At 22 you've got your whole life in front of you to live and a family to watch grow , leave this behind now and be done with it  , the depression and anxiety will ease with time as it's all usually related to the burden your carrying around . 

I noticed you said that the "trust had gone " so I'm assuming your partner knows ? If she does then that's a huge bonus in some way's as if you show her that you want change in your life and then there's probably no reason why you can't fix this , transparency is the key in showing her you mean business by being open about debt , showing her statements and credit reports whenever she needs them . 

You stopped for 5 month's so that shows that you can do this and maybe by getting the extra help this place offers then you'll keep on doing it again , there's also the choice of attending GA if you need extra support and also support for your partner if she need's from Gamanon or again even here on Family and friend's section ? . 

I know from experience how your feeling right now as I've walked in your shoes for many years but I also know from experience that you can fix this but only if you want too and if you want too more than you want that next bet . 

Lot's of non Judgmental support on here Toby and a wealth of knowledge  of all thing's gambling related , have a look around and read a few diary's ( that'll keep you busy for a while ) , keep posting and don't be afraid to ask if you need to know anything or just have a rant :)) . 

Wishing you well buddy and well done on opening up , that's a great first move reaching for help . 

Alan  

Hi,

Find strength that you are reaching out.

Top priority is to stop the rot and you are in the right place. Get on gamstop NOW, it will help you to limit any damage possible by stopping your access to most UK online gambling sites, so removing opportunity for sly or huge gambles.

Find strength that you have a partner and daughter .....alot of people have lost their families from this awful addiction.

Be glad for what you have and concentrating on stopping the rot, then you can start to address it day by day.

Hope this is some help,

We are in it together, you can do it

Thanks a lot.

You're right, it’s a horrible cycle that makes everything worse (depression, anxiety and gambling).

I’m thinking about banking with Monzo however I do not want any more credit checks done on me whilst my girlfriend decides if she wants to move out with me as this might effect the mortgage.

I have put all of the blocks in place and at this stage I do not feel the temptation to gamble.

Thanks for sharing Dave - I appreciate how open you've been, seems like you've really found the root causes and been a success story.

Motivational and thanks again!!