I've absolutely messed up again. I've battled a gambling addiction for some time, but had managed to get on top of the habit in the past four and a bit years.
Unfortunately I relapsed yesterday, I'm registered with GamStop, but got round it by using my partners account - I emptied every last penny of my bank and my savings. In the midst of an absolute mad spell, I actually contacted the bookmaker with my self exclusion email and also my ID, but they continued to accept deposits from the account in my missus' name and all I could think of was trying to repair some of the damage - of course I didn't manage to do that.
I'm angry at the bookmaker for ignoring it was my payment method, they had my ID etc and won't entertain the fact they've accepted deposits from a self excluded customers account, but I know this falls on me too - I'm an idiot.
I'm just so tired, so miserable, so full of self loathing - it's just useless. I can't gamble again (I currently can't anyway - I've got no money at all), but more importantly it's time to beat this once and for all.
I'm ranting aren't I? I'm sorry folks.
You are not an idiot. You are human and being honest and not in denial is good. You relapsed yesterday and you are straight back on here wanting to sort. I know in a day you can cause damage which can take months or years to sort.
Looking at your comments we can find work arounds and while gamstop and the like give us pause we can get around them. I know when I have no money I am better as no choice. However you could have borrowed and carried on today and you haven’t. You have stopped. I am on day 2. So to give advice feels a bit like a fraud but you can’t turn back time. Even Cher tried it and failed. ?. Accept it’s gone. Try and think of the positive. You stopped, you posted you want to change. So while there is guilt there is no denial. That has to be good. Stay strong and good luck ?
Hi there,
I know your angry with the bookies, but you have to face your addiction. They will not help. Self exclusion is a great barrier but thats all it is a barrier, if you truly want to beat this addiction you need to make some life changes.
I would recommend GA and the 12 step recovery programme, ignore the God stuff (im not religious and it does not bother me) it will help you focus more on yourself and your triggers that cause you to gamble. You will have to take a good look at yourself and ask yourself some difficult questions but if you do it you can come out the other side a much better person for it
Sorry folks, I forgot my password and my head was just so fried.
Thanks for the replies, Sarah thanks for the Cher analogy - I needed a laugh!
The anger is subsiding Joe, it’s more at myself than it is anyone else to be perfectly honest. Anyway on a positive note, I’ve just reached 48 hours without any urges, I’ve changed over my bank too.
Ive been suffering from severe depression for the last month and have been off work during this time, I’ve got a counselling appointment on Wednesday, that’ll be good to get stuff off my chest.
Almost a week on and feeling much more on the level.
I did follow through on the compliant regarding deposits and it has been escalated to management, but even now I feel like even if they do refund, all it will do is help me get back on my feet quicker. I don't ever want to experience the hurt, embarrassment and sickening low that my addiction has so often sunk me to.
I hope you all have a great and GF weekend.
welcome to the club everyone on this site is an idiot
idiots in persisting to use such a destructive process such as gambling
stop being an idiot be smart and get on with your life
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