The day has come

Hi Nick,

I gambled relentlessy for the last 8 years with all my wages as soon as I got them. I am currently 21 days gamble free and actually feeling good about it.

I put a day counter on my PC .. it is a small thing but god its nice to see it go up day by day. Maybe you can get a counter on your pc or on your phone? it sounds stupid but its one thing that has worked (so far) for me.

The last thing that did it for me is gambling £1000 and getting it up to £6000 and losing it within 10 minutes and then gambling another £1500 to £6000 and lost it all again. Incredible. Unfortunately..... no win is big enough to stop me gambling.... Mate, some of my gambling days have been unbeliveable and would make most people feel sick to the stomache, my addiction is definately severe and very destructive as I was addicted to losing.

If I can get to 21 days... anybody can.

Hi Dan,

thanks for your post mate I read it at work today and it definitely got me thinking. Getting bailed out is certainly an easy option and you're right - the pain will soon disappear again, it's a get out of jail card. And who's to say it won't happen again. I would like to think not, but I've said that before. Although this time round I really do want to stop I'm not sure I can convincingly say that was the case before. I will have to sit down and see what repayment options I have. Either way I will be paying the money back to someone. I can't happily accept my dads money and not pay him back. Thanks for your input mate

Icarus why are you discontent with your life? Is this the root of your gambling problem? I'm reading a lot on here that there are underlying issues why people gamble which has made me evaluate why I did all those years ago and never shook it off. Anyway going back to your comment of 'fantasising about winning' you need to reverse that into thinking about losing and what it has done to you. Google 'burning £50' and screenshot the image and then set it as your background on your phone. Just a polite reminder to you what you are doing when you gamble. I did this earlier. Now, my home screen is that and my lock screen is a picture of my son. At this moment I need to be reminded what's important to me. How you feeling today bud?

Hi Rhoda yeah that's a good point with the casino I should definitely do that. One of the main reasons I haven't been down there is my best friend who I would say is also a compulsive gambler put a life ban on himself so I've had no one to go down with! I do feel that if I was to have a relapse I would feel guilty on all of you on here which is actually pushing me further away from gambling which can only be good! I am not going to tell my mrs, certainly not now at 39weeks pregnant. And certainly not for the first couple of months. Maybe I will tell her when all the dust has settled. I will see. Yes, I would like to attend a GA meeting. One of my other friends is currently doing them and he loves them. He, by the way is the most compulsive gambler I know. Some of his stories are unbelievable. And knowing how well he's doing certainly gives me hope! You may have noticed a lot of my friends are gamblers which has never helped stopping over the years. But we're all older now and finally getting to grips with it all

'Unfortunately..... no win is big enough to stop me gambling.... '

hi teee that quote alone should terrify you into quitting for good. You are never satisfied with a win. You don't gamble for the money. You do it for the thrill or emotion it gives you.

As compulsive gambler's we will always lose long term. All the best my friend I wish you well in your recovery

Day #2

Hard getting out of bed today. Had a big job on and glad I went. Motivation levels are at a massive low. The first thing I thought about when I woke up was how can I get up at 6am, in the dark, drive to work for a fraction of what I've just lost gambling! This is where it gets me but I want to get back on track and going to work is all part of the building blocks to a happy GF life. One day at a time friends. Chat tomorrow. A lot of love

Perhaps going to GA with your friend may help? It may help not just you but your friend also. You might well motivate each other to go, not miss meetings etc. Ive been going for just over 3 months and i can say i love it. Im aware its not for everyone and we all have our own ways of recovery and not everyone is the same. I would suggest try it for at least a month before you make your judgement whether it is for you or not. I love my meetings and i go twice a week and im devastated if i have to miss one lol. Guess thats a good thing. Its helped me be not just honest to others but also to myself, i guess thats part of recovery in itself. Just have a good hard think and try figure out if there is anything in your life that has caused you to gamble and make changes so you are happy! Stopping is only half of recovery.

You can do this mate.

Dan

Hi NickSpurs.

You have to put the money behind you and use various schemes and thought processes to do that. Its gone and its not a get it back later scheme. Use the cup of water in the desert scenario / footballer spends that on a cake...anything you like...... but let it go.

I know its been painful but your thoughts now have to be that its only money and the future of your family are what its about. You will earn more and you will spend it wisely

If it cost you that to finally accept you have been addicted and out of control then so be it. What price happiness and healthiness because your mental state of mind and the future of your family is whats important now.

Let the gambling go, Learn about yourself and get your self respect and pride back.

You pick the moment but you must now try and build up a support network from people close to you.

You need to be in the casino lobby with the self exclusion form. Its essential and its actually a moment of real pride. You wont be the first and you wont be the last so they will help you complete the forms. You dont have to give them every last bit of info... I dont for security reasons... just enough so they have your picture and basic details so going there again is not an option

This applies to everywhere local or where you might go online or otherwise

Friends as gamblers is not a healthy or acceptable situation. You need to be strong and focused enough to be proud to tell them it aint for you any more. It doesnt mean that you have to be antisocial but it means that you need to tell them quickly and not accept any of the banter and nonsense that you are missing anything worthwhile. If they are going to be funny about it thats their problem and its bye bye time at that stage.

Im proud to tell people now and will do in pubs or anywhere I find myself socially. I find if Im having a good evening with others I wouldnt think of gambling. Only being alone or other gamblers in the group could be a situation there

What you wont miss is the further misery and new lows gambling had in store for you. Winning was never really part of my gambling history or psychology. It really was lose lose lose all the way and especially because I couldnt stop.

You will confront yourself now you cant hide behind gambling but its far better that way. you will realise that it was a form of mind control and its scary what a gambling addiction does. You will come to terms with how powerful it was and you must never be complacent.

Being gamble free is a wonderful feeling of self respect and freedom.

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

Brummyboy wrote:

Stopping is only half of recovery.

Dan, you are scarring me. My whole strategy is: just stop and you will be fine.

Hi NickSpurs...Day 3....you can also exclude yourself from casinos by completing an online form. Are you going to look into GA? Hope you have a good day.

Stopimmid,

If stopping was all of it, then what drove you to gamble in the first place? Think of compulsive gambling as self harming, you know it hurts yet you still do it anyway? Perhaps its been used as a coping mechanism of some sort? Everyone is different but a majority (not all) were not happy in there life and gambling was an escape. The trigger of gambling could be from depression, a loss of a loved one who knows? From seeing my addiction from the other side i was not happy with my life, was not happy at work and during my recovery i have changed my mindset and realised what i truly wanted in life and gambling just got in the way of it.

I hope everyone is doing okay and i wish you all the best in your recovery. Its not about the money, its about being happy and having some self worth.

Hi Nick

Many thanks for your post. Unfortunately my counter is correctlt at 2 days.

It is amazing how many posts that we read seem to be so close to our own experience. I think it may be that we all suffer the same illness and the emotions we suffer will be similar, although manifested in different ways.

You post made me read through a number of my old threads and it was moving to see how many people have lent their support but fallen by the wayside or moved on to better things.

Cannot believe in view of my previous emotional posts that I have still followed the same dimly-lit road.

I really hope this is the start of something good for you. Let's make sure you stay one day ahead of me from now on.

Right behind you.

Best wishes,

Mark

By the way, you posted on an old thread. My current thread is "With God's Help..."

Pretty much the shameful story really!

M

Day #3

Mrs went into labour this morning and at 21:11 tonight I became a father for the 2nd time. This time to a beautiful girl. Amazing.

Will catch up with replies etc when I can. Hope you are all well

Congratulations and well done on your gf days, stay strong and positive x